Goldicox and the three boors

So today I went to a meeting at the boathouse mainly to meet the new coach.
A brief history:

In the beginning there were two rec programs, a women's program and a men's program, both full. The board saw fit to combine the program causing much malcontent among the rowers.
Many women moved up to the 4 day competitive program with the intention of civil disobedience by only attending 3 days a week.
They also had a coach who was a great person off the water but was ... we'll say harsh ... on the water. When you can make a wedding planner who has teenage sons cry, something is wrong. And if you can only motivate people by screaming at them, you don't have a very broad repertoire. Again, she was a highly motivated athlete. She was a rower, also a marathoner and a triathlete, but she was not a good coach.
Then, the women's 4 day program got the direct opposite. A very sweet laissez-faire guy. He was sort of the anti-coach. The women complained about the lack of structure.
The easy going guy is now coaching the rec group, and the w4d gets a new coach.

The new coach: L was a high school and college coach. At our boathouse she helped coach the uber-competitive women's five day team. About them: I am only bitchy about this because I am insanely jealous. They are not people they are Rowers with a capital R. They are frighteningly thin, having conquered the need to eat that weakens us mortals. Also, as far as I can tell, they do not have jobs or personal lives, just Rowing. They thrive on punishment.

So needless to say, coming back from an injury I was a little concerned about what the new coach's expectations for the team were. I stayed after to talk to her and explained my situation stating that now is the time to object if she doesn't want to deal with my "issues". And that I would likely opt to not perform the land workouts in lieu of doing them with my physical therapist. She swears she's cool with everything, but the woman never smiled. Not once.
I'm actually wondering if she's one of those people who is more creepy when she smiles, like Tom Cruise. I don't trust people who are unattractive when they smile. It's not natural.

I asked one of the other coaches what she's like. Mainly "Will she make anyone cry on the water?"
"That depends on how you take her comments."

Well, F.