Friday, October 31, 2008

8 Halloween costumes for cyclists

I am not clever enough to write this. Copied from someone else who posted without attribution. If you know who wrote it I'll happily give credit.

As a cyclist, you are much, much better equipped for Halloween than the average person. Why? Because you already wear outrageous costumes on a daily basis. Think about it. Even though you are a (presumably) sane adult, you wear a shirt that would look much more at home on a superhero. You wear shorts that are much, much too tight, as if you were on your way to lead a jazzercize class. You wear a hat that belongs on an alien. And, to top the whole look off, you wear what sound and look like tap-dancing shoes...
By spending just a few extra minutes, you can alter your cycling outfit for the evening, making it so you're not just "a cyclist" at the party, but a very particular sort of cyclist. Simply follow these easy instructions.

Doping Cyclist: Dress up in full pro kit. Use a marker to draw needle tracks up and down one arm. Tie a length of surgical tubing above one elbow and leave a syringe sticking out of your vein. Wheel around an IV tower for the duration of the party. Stuff your jersey pockets with bottles of drugs. When anyone asks what / who you are, respond that you are a professional cyclist. When they ask what all the needles and drugs are for, say you have no idea what they're talking about. No matter what, do not admit you have any drug-related items on hand.

Mountain Biker (If You're normally a Roadie): Prepare for the party by gaining 10 lbs and getting 20-30 tattoos. Wear baggy pants -- baggy enough that they keep falling down. Arrive drunk at the party and continue to drink once you get there. Insist you have mad skillz.

Roadie (If You're normally a Mountain Biker): Prepare for the party by putting a stick in your butt. Wear uncomfortably tight cycling clothes for the party, drink nothing but thrice-filtered water and tell everyone exactly how many calories and fat everything they're eating contains.

Triathlete: Don't come to the party, because you've only done four workouts today and still need to get in one more and you don't want to break training, no matter what.

Recumbent Rider: Tape your glasses together, somehow manage to affix a pocket protector to your jersey, and loudly and insistently explain to all and sundry that recumbents are really much more comfortable and practical than "wedge" bikes. Talk a lot about prostates.

Recreational Cyclist: Wear street clothes with your right pant leg cuff completely greasy and shredded. Wear a bike helmet backwards and *censored*ed to one side. Tell people that you're starting to bike again to get back in shape.

Commuter: Wear street clothes, but carry a backpack or messenger bag full of what are clearly stinky bike clothes the entire evening. Make your helmet hair extremely obvious. Keep looking for opportunities to casually introduce the fact that you are a bike commuter into every single conversation in which you participate.

Fixie / Track Cyclist: Dress the same as a road cyclist, but you must always either keep walking or -- if you must stay in one place -- you must trackstand by moving a couple inches forward, then back, then forward and back again.

See? Easy, effective, and totally transformational. Nobody will recognize you. Better start preparing that "Best Costume" acceptance speech now.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Skeleton Crew

I'm done with slacking off and eating SF chocolate ship cookies. Mostly.

In order to prep for the annual Holiday rowing challenge, I'm doing Concept 2's Halloween challenge.

The rules:

In honor of Halloween, we invite you to participate in the Skeleton Crew Challenge... it's a great way to earn all that Halloween candy!
Row at least 31,000 meters between October 25 and October 31.
This is an individual challenge. (You do not need to belong to a team to participate.)
Meters can be done all in one sitting or as several workouts.
Meters must be entered online.
Only indoor rower meters count (no water meters please).
All those who row 31,000 meters will be listed on our Skeleton Crew Honor Board. In addition, once you've completed the challenge you'll be able to download your specially-designed Skeleton Crew certificate and iron-on transfer and shop for Skeleton Crew goodies at

I couldn't care less about Halloween candy since I can't eat it anyways, but anything that allows me to have another Panera Pink Ribbon bagel is good.

Saturday, after a mild case of food poisoning, I went to the gym and made it through 3K before my stomach revolted. So I'm about 10% done. Yesterday I just walked in the park in an effort to not re-injure the shoulders. Today I'm still stiff but will try to put another dent in the 31K. And in my weight for that matter.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Somewhere a Nike marketing executive is being fired.

What a colossal F-up.
You run a race under the guise of empowering women, an everyday woman wins the race and you refuse to award her the first prize because she didn't register as elite?
A race where you could run in your own backyard and still be a part of the race so you could reach out to regular women.

Great job. You had the next best thing to Subway's Jared. A marketing boon. Manna from heaven and you completely dropped the ball Nike.

You, a company named after the goddess of victory, refused to give the rightful winner first prize. Not only did you give up possibly the best marketing opportunity short of the super bowl, you handled it so badly people are actually pissed at you.

Oh and to the argument that it wouldn't be fair to the elites? BS. Start everyone together then. And if they would have run faster if they knew they had competition, BS to that too. Really? You could have run 11 minutes faster? Right. And if you could have run faster, you should have run faster. It's your job. Not to mention, respect the race and leave it all out on the course.

And please explain to me how someone who doesn't have a pro card should have signed up as an elite. That's what I thought.

Guess which shoes I won't be buying and which race I won't be running.

Apparently someone is awake over there. No word on whether she'll score prize money too, but it's a step in the right direction.
Nike is back off my Christmas List, we'll talk about the sweatshop thing another day.

From Runner's World:
* The San Francisco Chronicle's editorial page calls for Nike to "Award the real winner."*

It's official: Nike has dubbed O'Connell "a winner." Here's the official statement...Nike is announcing today that it recognizes Arien O'Connell as a winner in last weekend’s Nike Women’s Marathon completing the full race in 2:55:11. She shattered her previous time and achieved an amazing accomplishment.Arien will receive the same recognition and prize, including a Tiffany & Co. trophy, the full marathon elite group winner received. Arien was unfortunately not immediately recognized as a race winner because she did not start the race with the elite running group, which is required by USATF standards. Because of their earlier start time, the runners in the elite group had no knowledge of the outstanding race Arien was running and could not adjust their strategies accordingly. Learning from the unique experience in this year’s race, Nike has decided today to eliminate the elite running group from future Nike Women's Marathons. Next year, all runners will run in the same group and all will be eligible to win. Nike has a proven track record of supporting athletes and we’re proud to be able to honor Arien and other athletes who surpass their goals and achieve great accomplishments.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Want to Get Away?

So I've had a persistent cold for like 3 weeks on and off now. I haven't done much other than the elliptical. Not too exciting or worth blogging about. Wheezing and gasping, not so interesting.

So today I got an email about a sale on Zipp wheels, which I sent out to all the training groups. Unfortunately including the XXXX bike shop group. Needless to say, they didn't appreciate that. DOH! Will not be sending any emails until the filter is back in place.

Clearly I need to use this:

Feel free to entertain me with your own stories of stupendous BTK errors. Although I feel like I might be alone in being this stupid.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Mountain Bike One?

OMG where to begin:
Good thing they aren't say, working on the economy.

Also, the Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility says mountain bikers are communists who eat babies.

Bush to help open national parks to mountain bikes
Rule change will allow decisions about trails to be made by park managers

The Associated Press
updated 2:56 p.m. ET, Tues., Oct. 14, 2008

WASHINGTON - The Bush administration plans to make it easier for mountain bikers to gain access to national parks and other public lands before the president — an avid cyclist himself — leaves office.
The National Park Service confirmed Tuesday that it is preparing a rule that will allow decisions about some mountain bike trails to be made by park managers instead of federal regulators in Washington, a process that can take years.
A park service spokesman said the rule would be proposed no later than Nov. 15 so it could be final before Bush leaves office. If adopted, the proposal would likely result in more mountain biking opportunities on public lands.
Currently, the Park Service has to adopt a special regulation to open up trails to mountain bikes, which requires the public to be formally notified. The same process is required for all-terrain vehicles and other motorized recreation on park lands.
“We are trying to give superintendents a little bit of latitude especially for non-controversial proposals for bicycling in parks,” said Jeffrey Olson, a spokesman for the service. “We are responding to public demand.”
Environmental advocate Jeff Ruch called the rule a lame-duck gift for the mountain biking lobby from the “Mountain-Biker-in-Chief,” referring to Bush.
Ruch, executive director of the Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility, said the proposal would open up backcountry trails to mountain bikers. Mountain bikers are blamed for erosion of trails and trampling native plants. They also disturb other park users, such as hikers, birders and horseback riders.
During his tenure as president, Bush has embraced mountain biking as a low-impact alternative to running, which is hard on his knees. The president — who has a blue and white Trek bicycle dubbed Mountain Bike One — often rides on his ranch in Crawford, Tex. and in the Washington, D.C. area. He also has received several mountain bikes from companies like Cannondale and Trek.
The International Mountain Biking Association, which is supported by some of the same companies that gave Bush bikes, said Tuesday it didn’t believe the timing of the rule had anything to do with the president’s penchant for pedaling.
“It is extraneous to this (rule) that the president has interest in mountain biking. I don’t think that has been an influencer in this case,” said Mark Eller, communications director for the group, which has been lobbying to change the rules since the early 1990s.
About 30 properties managed by the National Park Service include trails approved for mountain bikes now, he said.
A calendar for Lyle Laverty, the Interior Department’s Assistant Secretary for Fish, Wildlife and Parks also shows that the mountain bike rule is one the administration’s remaining priorities.
In April 2006, after a 65-minute ride through Napa County wine country on Earth Day, the president told an AP reporter: “We’re able to enjoy the beauty without really disrupting pristine nature of the place. It’s a classic way for mankind to enjoy God’s gift.”

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Friday, October 3, 2008

Totally could have used this for Savageman

Zero-emissions hybrid bike developed

01 October 2008

A zero-emissions hybrid vehicle that uses solar power and pedal power has been designed.

The Cycle Sol is a bicycle which has a canopy lined with solar cells, which collect energy to add extra power to the spinning of the wheels. A battery collects the solar energy which is then used to power a motor in the back wheel, speeding the bike along at 15mph with minimal effort and reducing the strain on the rider on uphill sections of their journey.

The bright yellow bicycle, brought to the concept stage by London-based designer Miroslav Milijevic, can also be connected to a mains supply so that the motor can assist the rider even when the sun has not been out. Mr Milijevic told the Times: "It is just like an electric bike but the motor runs on a battery powered by solar energy. You can leave it outside the office during the day to top up the rechargeable, ready for the ride home. These days solar cells are pretty good at picking up the lowest amount of light so it should still work when the skies are cloudy." Given the recent announcement that the most efficient solar cell yet has been developed, the future could see the bicycle's performance improve.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Slacking and vote

I have been slacking off so hard since Savageman.

On one hand I want to get out and enjoy the fall weather, on the other I am so ready for this season to be over. So ready. Ready to sit at home, eat sugar free brownies, watch football, and knit.

Only problem: I have at least one more tri on the schedule.

Well two problems, that and that nesting/slacking means I'm gaining a little weight. Unacceptable.

Wednesday, I rolled my arse out of bed at O'Dark Thirty to Meet Trainer Blaine since I have Giant Acorn hanging over my head. I should have ran 3 miles. Instead I did 30 minutes on the elliptical.

Stupid leaf mold is making it hard to breathe. As well as idiot roommates who don't comprehend that the dehumidifier prevents the whole house from getting icky moldy.

Anyways, Wednesday was also Doomsday at work. All hell breaking loose. I controlled my mounting panic by scheduling out my training for the next few months. It's oddly comforting. I love lists, spreadsheets, and the comfort of grids and boxes.

What do I do with the rest of the month? Do I race Giant Acorn even though I'm going to the Caps game the night before and haven't gotten my bike checked out since Savageman?

Do I race Brierman?

I already faced the reality that I was not prepared for the Baltimore half and deferred to next year.

Do I do winter conditioning for crew or let my shoulder heal for the next six months?

Vote now!