Monday, June 1, 2009

Where I’ve been

Sorry for being gone for so long.

I’ll post this first and then a couple shorter ones on my recent adventures.

About two months ago I got some zit looking things on my tonsil along with a bout of tonsilitis. It went away, then about six weeks later I got a couple more zit-like things on one of my tonsils. I didn’t feel full-on sick, but didn’t feel good either. Papa panda insisted I go to the doctor in case I had a latent case of strep. Apparently this can lead to all sorts of doomy things like heart infections, something, something.

I went to the doctor where I had gained another 5 pounds despite efforts to the contrary. They swabbed my throat like 3 times for strep. No go. Tried pressing on it with a Q-tip, no movement. The doctor thought I might have a cyst, and referred me to an ENT.

A week later I saw the ENT. In the interim, the tonsil zit burst, and some sort of object came out of it. I figured this was not normal. Apparently I had tonsiliths, which are tonsil stones. All these throats are yours except Europa … Four days later I got my tonsils out. That was two weeks ago.

Why the evil tonsils were removed:
Every time I get remotely sick, get near something I’m allergic to, or breathe wrong, they swell up.
Once, in college, my tonsils got super infected and swelled shut overnight and I spent the night in the hospital.
Lately my tonsils are in league with my kidneys in producing stones.
ENT said when he clamped them for the surgery, they oozed stuff. Gross.

About the tonsillectomy:
The person who drove me to the surgery and took care of me is a Saint. Canonized here as Saint Tonsilitis. His three miracles were not killing me when I was whiny, not killing me when I randomly started snoring post-surgery, making magically healing ice packs.
Also, running for Boston market, taking me to get pain meds, more jello, etc, not commenting on the ammount of ice cream I ate, letting me eat the mac and cheese and tiramisu myself.

Day before, go to gym since I won’t be able to work out for a while. Buy supply of soft food- jello, pudding, applesauce, supremed oranges, ice cream, etc.

My surgery was at 1pm. I was not allowed to have any food or drink after 8pm the previous day. I was borderline homicidal.

We got stuck on the Wilson bridge for almost an hour panicking that I would miss my surgery. Thank you WTOP for not reporting that both the local and the through lanes had construction work.

Anesthetic in, ow, hey my arm’s hanging off the tabzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Wake up. First blazing red thought- OWWWWW. Bang on gurney, attract nurse, sqeak/whisper out “HURTS!”. I get pain meds. Danger of crying like a little girl over.
Really want a hug. Puppy eyes alternating with lemon face.

Go home, encamp on sofa. Star Trek, Star Trek, movies, Star Trek.
Read both Sookie Stackhouse books Saint Tonsilitis got for me.

Sleep on deck. Discover medication causes instant sunburning and removes ability to thermoregulate.

Everything hurts. Carbonation hurts, anything remotely acidic hurts, food hurts, breathing hurts, pain med burns like FIRE. Sucking on ice, icing outside with bag of corn. Chasing pain med with jello.

About three days later I con the person taking care of me to take me to the gym. I am very bored. Turns out the reason you are not suppose to work out is that is makes the surgery site swell. This hurts a LOT. Also you have a lowered immune system and gyms are filthy. This does not go well.

Run out of pain meds TWICE.

Go see ENT for follow-up. Get steroid shot. Get Rx for more pain meds. Better but now puffy and sleepy.

Ten days after surgery. Still really, really hurts. Still unsuccessful in eating green beans, or really anything other than applesauce and mac and cheese.
Develop relationship with Boston Market.

Finally two weeks later, able to eat adult food again in very small bites. Not counting the hours until I can take more pain med. Thoroughly bored. Decide to decamp and go to work again.

Someday I hope to be able to eat Luna bars again. And Coke Zero that hasn’t been shaken up. And to stop yawning.

They didn’t tell me when I could start running again. I put a call in, but oddly, they haven’t responded yet.