Can I get a new hip for my birthday?

So I was going to skip my birthday since it’s not a milestone and I was kind of depressed about being old and the whole being broken thing. In the end I decided like a week before to have a happy hour since I was going to be off early anyway for the MRI.

So the MRI:
I negotiated to get the MRI done in Springfield instead of out in Reston where my Dr. Is. Getting from DC to Reston can be challenging to say the least. I thought that I would have time to come home and take a nap before the happy hour. I was wrong.

My MRI was a contrast MRI, unlike my shoulder. First you go through the usual 20 Questions regarding medical history, medications, and “Are you sure you aren’t pregnant?”.
Then the usual disrobing and removing of all piercings and putting on the super awesome slipper socks. I have a collection.

Then they took a few X-rays of my femur/hip bone.

Then the actual radiologist came in. She was wearing a huge lead apron. This was not confidence inspiring.

First they inject you with a “numbing agent”. This so called numbing agent was supposed to “sting” a little. Instead it felt like someone was jamming a railroad spike into my hip and like my whole leg was on fire.

Then they continuously x-rayed my hip so they could see where to place the needle that would inject the contrast dye into my hip. Dye injected then I head off for my MRI.
I had a good hour’s worth of MRI pictures that needed to be taken. But that was nothing in comparison to the injections so it was cake. I put in the earplugs, took a nap, and channeled Snow White.

Then I put everything back on and in and headed out to the waiting room for my CD of very expensive pictures. Half an hour goes by and nothing. I go ask and apparently no one has bothered to burn the CD. I wait another half an hour and bingo, happy birthday to me!

I have to say I love looking at these kinds of things. How often do you get to see yourself inside out? I took a couple minutes to check out the CD before I left for happy hour.

Now, when they MRI’d my hip, they MRI’d BOTH hips. I can only assume for comparison’s sake. I would post pictures, but I was startled to find that when they MRI your hips, they MRI EVERYTHING in between your hips, ahem. So not only do I have beautiful full color pictures of my hips, I also have a vivisection of my reproductive organs.

So instead I give you panda birthday pictures: