Becoming an Iron Panda

There's stuff that isn't running?

2011-05-31T20:45:00.004-04:00

What do you do with all that extra time once your 20 hour a week part time job training gets de-railed?

Wellllll ....

I started cooking again. A lot. And by cooking I mean baking. Pink lemonade cupcakes. Car bomb cupcakes. Kahlua cupcakes. Coconut cupcakes. Sugar free brownies. Sugar free banana bread. Sugar free pumpkin bread. Grapefruit shortbread. Orange apricot scones. Cranberry orange scones. Lemon blueberry scones.

Sorry I don't have any pictures of these, but let me just say if you want to make pink buttercream frosting that it can't be done with a primary color kit. The result is a bluish flesh color. And if your star tip isn't sharp enough, it looks like you piped brains onto your cupcakes. Which would be awesome if you had these cupcake holders: https://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/kitchen/e558/

but is pretty awkward at a party in NE with uptight people.

Oh and Oreo mint cupcakes taken from this blog: http://sharedbites.blogspot.com/2010/12/mint-oreo-cupcakes-and-uh-laziness.html

which I think I might have volunteered to make for my anime artist friend D who drew this version of me:

For the record, me as an angel I think is meant to be ironic.

I also regained my creative spirit. No, I won't be drawing my friends as amine characters. I dragged my ridiculously tolerant BF, we'll call him Polar Bear, to this:

http://artjamzdc.com/

Let's just say my frustration over not being whole showed up in my painting. PB hung it on his wall. This is reason #547 why he's awesome. He was okay with going to a booze and painting event I think because he was worried when I said I had a surprise, that I was going to make him go skydiving with me.

I also have been getting back into fashion blogs. I love flipping through the collections, and being snarky. I pretty much live in gym clothes, suits, and pajamas. And the occasional Patagonia dress. So this is purely fantasy, unless fleece polka dot pajamas become haute couture.

And on the active front:

KAYAKING!!!

I LOVE being on the water. I love it so much I have no idea how I made it through the winter. We went kayaking twice this weekend and it was heaven.

I'm also trying to get back into rowing. Which is also awesome. Even at 5:15 AM.

There's just something about the way the morning light illuminates the smog and the sewage.

And if you write a blog I've actually read it and been commenting with annoying frequency. Sorry about that.

FML

2011-05-18T13:37:00.002-04:00

I have so been dreading writing this post. I guess in part because posting makes it real.

A few weeks ago I drove up to Martha's Vineyward for the MS Bike Ride. I had to stop halfway through. It felt like someone was dragging razor blades across my hip.

Needless to say, this was somewhat alarming. I got back got in to see the Orthopaedist and got a RX for PT.

Now I had previously spent 4 months in classic PT, and they had recommended I see a chiropractor. So this time I went to the chiro first.

This particular chiro specializes in the Graston technique and ART. I'm pretty sure Graston is Flemish for torture because that's essentially what it is. Although it does leave you feeling a lot looser and in less overall pain after a couple days, so I fully expect to come down with some sort of Stockholm syndrome.

The chiro confirmed I have a metric crapton of scar tissue in my body and that I am quite frankly, damaged goods. As painful as having scar tissue ripped from muscle is, nothing was as painful as what came next.

The chiro told me he never likes to tell people they can keep doing an activity but I *need* to stop running. He said I'll probably need a hip replacement in my lifetime and running is only bringing that eventuality into the nearer future. Like say 55 instead of 65.

I cried all the way home.

I cried later when I got home.

I cried the next day at work.

I did not punch the co-worker who said, "Well you can still walk on the treadmill".
Although I really wanted to. And I'm still fantasizing about it.

Then I emailed my old PT, who I'll most likely go to once I'm done with the chiro, for a second opinion.
Due to the severity and irreparable nature of my injury, nothing over a 10K.

So to be clear: no half marathons, which I've been doing 3-4 a year since I started seriously running. No marathon which I've been trying to work up to for two years. No Ironman, which has been a long term dream for years now.

F. FFFFFFFFF!

What am I supposed to do now?

Then I cried again and ate two sugar free ice cream bars.

Just a tip: never eat two servings of anything sugar free, especially if you aren't supposed to run.

New Year's Tri Resolutions

2011-01-09T16:07:00.005-05:00

Okay I know I've done this like twelve times before and I never keep them because I keep getting injured.
Well I'm still injured but I need something to focus on, so here it is:

1. I want to do RAGBRAI. I think I can actually handle this one since the hip seems to hold up for biking.
I applied for it with super cycling friend J.

2. I'm signed up for Shamrock half.
I knew I couldn't heal in time for the full so I'm trying for the half. I'll probably walk a great deal of it, but I should be able to finish it.

3. If that goes well, I'm looking at the Seattle Rock N Roll full marathon.

4. Pacers run series. Hopefully I can do more of these that the one 5K I ran while still broken last year.

5. Kinetic half or if that goes completely sideways, the Rev 3 in Portland.

6. And if everything else goes magically according to plan, I'm looking at the Beach to Battleship full. It could happen. We had our first full eclipse in like 500 years or something this year, it could be my year.

What? It could be.

Stop looking at me like that, I'm not going to get injured again. Probably.

Hey look! It's Elvis!

(runs away)

Sunday Sweet Sixteen

2010-10-17T23:37:00.003-04:00

Okay so I'm trying to get better about blogging so I'm resurrecting the Sunday Sweet Sixteen

1. I still can't run
2. The ortho wants me to get a cortisone injection.
3. The PT disagrees.
4. I still haven't made up my mind as to what I'm doing.
5. I'm about ready to say F it and go back full force.
6. Because at least if I re-injure it, they have something discrete to fix, right?
7. Right?!!
8. The team ran an 8K this morning.
9. I hate that I couldn't run it.
10. Checked out a 5K to run instead.
11. Then I had an asthma attack Saturday night.
12. Leaves are pretty. Leaf mold is toxic.
13. I am RESTLESS.
14. I think this is how people who go cold turkey off of their psych meds feel.
15. CT5K is running a 5K at the end of the month.
16. F my hip! I'm running it!

Three Strikes Law

2010-09-07T12:19:00.005-04:00

In the meantime I’m marooned on the sofa watching the Philly bike race on DVR and whimpering at the screen the way an indoor cat does at the glass preventing him from stalking a bird outside.

By the way, did you know that Jelly Belly has an actual racing team? I guess it makes sense since they make Sport Beans. I think this is the perfect team for me, what with having a Jelly Belly being typical of a panda's physique.

Picking a date for surgery was slightly less complicated than picking a space shuttle launch date. I had mass amounts of work travel in March and another week in April, and I had to move at the end of May. Add to this that at some point I actually had to get the MRI done before I could get the insurance to approve the surgery. And we were randomly super busy at work. This should be our slow time but there were unending budget drills and congressional inquiries and TPSs had to be done. Yes, we actually have TPS reports at my job. I make the joke daily and no one ever gets it. That might be a good thing.

And it had to be early enough to where I could recover enough to be able to handle flying to LA later in the month. And it had to be before the end of June so I could burn some unused funds in my FSA. I’m getting to the point where I’m actually planning for a surgery every year when calculating how much to contribute to my FSA. Sigh.

Super friend M came up from Richmond and took care of me. Now, for a non-DC person to drive from Arlington to Reston in rush hour traffic which involves no fewer than 4 highways, is deserving of a medal in and of itself.

If you’ve read any of my other posts, you know my life is one long I love Lucy/ Seinfeld episode.

I had to have my surgery at the hospital instead of the surgery center because a special table was needed traction hip something something. Generally I prefer to have surgery at a surgical center since my experience with hospitals hasn't been great. There was the time I had a broken leg and they told me my ankle was sprained, the time I had a shoulder surgery and the nurse dropped a needle and still wanted to inject me with it, and thennnnn there was This Time.

So first we went through the “Are you pregnant?” drill:
H: Are you pregnant?

IP: No.

H: Are you sure?

IP: Yes.

H: Are you really sure?

IP: Yessssssss

H: Prove it!

IP: What?

I had to take a pregnancy blood test. Which seems like a relatively simple thing since they were already going to have to stick me and insert tubing so I could become one with the Matrix. Yeah you would think.

This particular nurse tried three separate times to try to find a vein. I directed her to where I had scars from the IV from my tonsillectomy. She … did not listen. She found a vein and shot through it. Then she tried another and something … wasn’t right. All of a sudden I hear M say, “Whatever you do, DON’T LOOK”.

Have you ever seen a campy horror movie where there’s blood shooting out of a vein after someone gets attacked by a zombie/werewolf/vampire with a chainsaw?
My arm was covered in blood. They had to give me a new blanket I was so covered with blood. Now I have strict rules on puncturingcritical systems. You get three tries to give me an IV or draw blood and you're out. Thankfully at this point she gave up and called in another nurse who got it on the first try. If I have to have surgery again, I’m just getting a port put in.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the curtain …

Another nurse is telling OR horror stories to a guy about to get a vasectomy. I could not make this up if I tried. Nurse Kramer pops in a couple times, which included an attempt to guess my age. He was on the high side by about 20 years. I am not amused. He says he was basing it on the hip surgery. Note to self: I cannot get away with not wearing makeup.

Oh and the test results come back: I'm not pregnant!

With that cleared up I shuffle off to slumberland where the forest critters fix my hip. Well, what could be fixed. More on that another time.

Moving, a race report

2010-09-07T11:34:00.002-04:00

Being the genius that I am, I moved the weekend before I had surgery.
While I was playing Keep Toss or Donate, the Team was off racing Mountains of Misery (MOM) and the Wilderness Road Ride. Rides so difficult they make Savageman look like cake. Since my sense of masochism only goes so far, I decided not to race the world’s hardest course on a torn hip and then try to move in two days.
But it did make for a fun game of “Would you rather” with the roommate.
Me: Would you rather race Mountains of Misery in a thunderstorm or … move on the hottest days of the year?
Roommate: The race. Absolutely.

There was a bit of stress since I didn’t officially have the new apartment until about 3 days before I needed to move. I had a panicky moment full of Catholic guilt that I would not be approved for the apartment. I had some contingency plans, but it was all pretty tenuous.
Second point of stress came when the movers I’ve used the last two times were fully booked. I think this was a blessing in disguise. The movers the new apartment complex suggested were great. They were super nice and took great care of my stuff. This was key since being injured and all I was pretty limited in what I could carry and move myself. And, I wouldn’t be able to move anything if it wasn’t where I needed it.
I took Friday off to pack. Saturday the movers came. I don’t know why, but it always takes twice as long to move stuff in and it does to move stuff out. It’s bizarre.
Now I had moved six months ago from a townhouse (under some serious duress) to a tiny 2 bedroom apartment with a roommate. I still hadn’t unpacked a lot of boxes when I moved to the new place. Which has absolutely. no. storage.
There was also a certain amount of pressure because 3 days later I would be having hip surgery and wouldn’t be able to walk so everything needed to be in its place.
I quickly found out that when I moved out of the townhouse, I didn’t get ANY of my kitchenware moved.
My awesome sorority sister R came down and drove me (because my car was still packed full) to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to get basic necessities like flatware, dishes, and pots and pans. We also went all over creation trying to find a squid strip surge protector. Did they recall them? I can’t find one anywhere!
She also helped me make my bathroom handicapped accessible with a removable hand rail, fish bath tub grips, and a handheld shower head. All lessons learned from the previous surgeries.
As much stress as it was there’s something to be said for living within a 1/8th of a mile of restaurants, a grocery store, and a coffee shop for two weeks.

BTW, did you know that most people don't consider a bike to be living room furniture?

Can I get a new hip for my birthday?

2010-06-07T18:01:00.004-04:00

So I was going to skip my birthday since it’s not a milestone and I was kind of depressed about being old and the whole being broken thing. In the end I decided like a week before to have a happy hour since I was going to be off early anyway for the MRI.

So the MRI:
I negotiated to get the MRI done in Springfield instead of out in Reston where my Dr. Is. Getting from DC to Reston can be challenging to say the least. I thought that I would have time to come home and take a nap before the happy hour. I was wrong.

My MRI was a contrast MRI, unlike my shoulder. First you go through the usual 20 Questions regarding medical history, medications, and “Are you sure you aren’t pregnant?”.
Then the usual disrobing and removing of all piercings and putting on the super awesome slipper socks. I have a collection.

Then they took a few X-rays of my femur/hip bone.

Then the actual radiologist came in. She was wearing a huge lead apron. This was not confidence inspiring.

First they inject you with a “numbing agent”. This so called numbing agent was supposed to “sting” a little. Instead it felt like someone was jamming a railroad spike into my hip and like my whole leg was on fire.

Then they continuously x-rayed my hip so they could see where to place the needle that would inject the contrast dye into my hip. Dye injected then I head off for my MRI.
I had a good hour’s worth of MRI pictures that needed to be taken. But that was nothing in comparison to the injections so it was cake. I put in the earplugs, took a nap, and channeled Snow White.

Then I put everything back on and in and headed out to the waiting room for my CD of very expensive pictures. Half an hour goes by and nothing. I go ask and apparently no one has bothered to burn the CD. I wait another half an hour and bingo, happy birthday to me!

I have to say I love looking at these kinds of things. How often do you get to see yourself inside out? I took a couple minutes to check out the CD before I left for happy hour.

Now, when they MRI’d my hip, they MRI’d BOTH hips. I can only assume for comparison’s sake. I would post pictures, but I was startled to find that when they MRI your hips, they MRI EVERYTHING in between your hips, ahem. So not only do I have beautiful full color pictures of my hips, I also have a vivisection of my reproductive organs.

So instead I give you panda birthday pictures:

Pain in the Arse

2010-03-20T12:50:00.002-04:00

So about a month ago I needed to run 18 miles in my plan to run the Shamrock marathon.
My plan: drive up to Columbia and run the 9miler with the Howard County Striders. And run it twice so I would make my 18.

Well I got there. And lo and behold, they had canceled the 9 miler and were only having the 2 and 6 miler. Now the 6 miler would be running the 2 mile loop 3 times.

Why? Because the trails were still covered with snow.
YA THINK?!!! Yes, maybe a week after we get 28" of snow the trails won't be shoveled or clear. Certainly no one could have checked that and posted it to your website before that day.

So I would be running the 2 mile course nine. times. to make 18.

Well instead I ran one mile of a ridiculously hilly course. Like straight up straight down. Immediately I felt something happen. Something bad.

I decided discretion was the better part of valor and headed back to my car after one loop.

The best part: people cheering me on the second mile as I'm limping back to the car. I wanted to scream, I have been running all winter!! I am not out of shape! I have a thyroid thing! I can run 9 times this!
Sigh.

It became pretty clear that I had done something serious. It HURT. And it wasn't getting better, really.

I had planned to go snowboarding the following weekend, it was too late to back out, and I had already paid for my share of the house.
Let's just say that while I made some awesome strides boarding but I also spent a lot of time drinking bourbon at the bar in tears from the pain.

I finally ponied up when my toes kept going numb on the left side.
After a frustrating exchange with a rocket scientist/ receptionist I got in to see my orthopaedist.

So not a piriformis injury like I was worried about. Not IT Band. It seems to be a hamstring pull and a dislocated hip/ torn labrum.
Apparently the clicking is a telltale sign.

Why does this seem familiar? Because it's the Exact. Same. Thing. I did to my shoulder.

The good news: I technically can't make it worse.
The bad news: It won't heal on it's own either.

I'm not psyched about having surgery again. But I think I'm the most pissed that I missed out on the best snowboarding season in like 15 years to run every weekend training for a marathon that I can't run.

Freaking lame.

Saturday Morning Haikus

2010-03-13T07:34:00.002-05:00

6am alarm
Neighbor's dog crying since 5
Wide awake for now

Planned to run at 9
Torrential rain and gale wind
Gym is looking good

Four Courts 4 miler
First race in Pacers series
Is a wash for me

Running in the rain
Don't want bronchitis again
Flying on Monday

Sunday Sweet Sixteen

2010-01-31T21:35:00.003-05:00

Okay, I'm trying to get back to normal which includes posting.

1. I am super sick this week. A cold and bronchitis.
2. Not sure if this is related to kissing frogs.
3. Or running in sub-arctic weather.
4. Or lots of stress and travel.
5. Signing up for tons of races makes sense from the comfort of my couch
6. And pajamas.
7. Prices for Set-up Events races go up tomorrow ...
8. A supersprint the week after my marathon is reasonable, right?
9. Right?
10. I was considering the Icy 8 next week in prep for the marathon, and just for fun.
11. But now it's supposed to snow YET AGAIN.
12. I should probably start swimming soon.
13. Like a month ago.
14. I'm also considering field hockey again.
15. I can totally train for tris, row, play softball, and play field hockey, right?
16. I signed up for belly dance. Just for fun.

Sesame Street and Running

2009-11-14T16:04:00.002-05:00

Shouts to Runner's World for posting it first.

BTW, Big Bird? Not the best training partner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGl5UVhP5H4&feature=player_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntX4FKchzAk&feature=fvw

http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Episode_1836

"Brought to you by the letters "R," "U," and "N," and the number "26.2""

Don't Be That Guy

2009-11-14T10:13:00.003-05:00

Occasionally, we've all been "That guy". Mine was when I posted an online sale on Zipp wheels to a listserv for training rides run by a local bike shop (oops).

In an effort to save you from yourself, check out the following from VeloNews.

The pictures are priceless, so hit up the original when you get a chance.

Don't Be That Guy
By the Editors of VeloNews VeloNews

As the new season approaches and you begin thinking of all the things you'd like to do—train smarter, lose weight, win a race or two—it might be wise to consider a few things you shouldn't do.

Over the years we've seen our fair share of stupid moves. Heck, we've committed more than a few of them at some point ourselves. To help you on your merry racing way, we've compiled a few things to avoid, and added a few suggestions on what to do instead.

Don't Be That Guy...
...who ignores pointing out debris and potholes on the road. There is all manner of danger out there, and those behind you can't necessarily see it.» Instead, honor the golden ruleR ide like the person you like riding behind. Assume anyone riding on your wheel is blind to anything in front of you, and err on the side of caution when it comes to anything that could cause a crash or puncture.

...who warms up obliviously on a mountain bike or cyclocross course while others are racing. If race officials allow it, warming up on course is fine. But not paying attention will put you in the way of those who are racing.» Instead, get to the race early With enough time, you can properly scout out the course and master any specific technical sections by riding and re-riding without screwing up someone else's race.

...who is unnecessarily sketchy in a race.» Instead, learn how to better pick and hold your line through corners and in the pack Keep in mind, however, that riders with well-honed skills can find holes and take lines that other less adept riders may find sketchy. If you have the skills, then exploit them. Unnecessary sketchiness happens when you take chances without the proper skills and put yourself and racers around you in danger.

...who highlights every single race on the calendar. Remember, rest is just as important as training and racing, and unless you're paying for "training supplements" from Eufemiano Fuentes, chances are your body can only peak a few times each season.» Instead, choose three or four races you want to be in peak physical condition for Use the other events as training. And don't be afraid to take a weekend off now and again.

...who takes a King-Kong pull at the front and then gets dropped. If your aim is to impress your fellow group riders, then not dropping yourself is a better option.» Instead, take a seamless pull Gauge your effort on the front and then drop back into the draft while you still have something in the tank.

...who waits until the morning of the race to fill out registration.» Instead, take care of everything possible prior to race morning Online registration saves time and eases stress, allowing more time for warming up and porta-potty lines.

...who turns up late for a three-hour training ride sans water, food, spare and money, then tries to dictate the day's labors.» Instead, be prepared and flexible Be that guy who's on time, ready for anything and flexible about training. And bring a little something extra just in case that other fellow shows up, too.

...who does the same ride over and over. And over again until you're on a first-name basis with all the potholes and could ride it in your sleep.» Instead, take that carbon wonderbike down a new road, maybe even a dirt one, now and again. Rekindle the spirit of adventure that got you into this sport in the first place. Besides keeping you mentally fresh, the variation in terrain will be good for your training.

Don't Be That Guy...
...who flogs himself in training when he can feel a bug coming on. Your immune system is like your legs—if it's tired, it's not going to spring into action.» Instead, check yourself If the sickness is above your neck, then going out for a ride is still in the cards. If it's below—stay in bed. Don't forget, the deeper a hole your immune system falls into, the longer you're out of action.

...who wears arm warmers with a sleeveless jersey. Do we have to explain this one to you?» Instead, regulate your temperature wisely This isn't the NBA. If it's cool enough to wear arm warmers, it's cool enough to wear a regular, short-sleeve jersey. Likewise, if it's warm enough to wear a sleeveless jersey, it's warm enough to skip the arm warmers.

...who races with untested foods or drinks. If you don't know how it's going to react with your body, the last place you want to try out a new food or drink is in a race. If it's going to add tension or anxiety, or affect your perspiration or respiration rates, you've got the recipe for a bigger problem. And it's not always the item itself; it may also be the quantity or the mixture. If you mix up an energy drink in a weaker or stronger solution than you're used to, you can find yourself with unexpected digestion issues or the dreaded bonk.» Instead, try everything you plan on eating or drinking in a race ahead of time For long, hard training rides, mix up drinks just like you would for a race. Take them from the same kind of container, drink them along with the same foods, and try to consume them with the same haste and under the same conditions in which you would in a race. Try eating combinations of foods as you'd want to in a race. Fueling yourself should be simple; don't complicate it by trying the latest energy food or miracle drink for the first time in an important race.

...who slams on his brakes in the middle of a group ride to pick up stuff on the road. Maybe you really do need that quarter, that bungee cord, or that screwdriver lying there, but you certainly don't need it so badly you have to endanger anybody else's life to have it right then. The same goes with dropping something out of your pocket; your energy bar or jacket will still be lying there, and your cell phone will not have hit the road any less hard if you wait a few seconds.» Instead, let everyone pass before stopping to pick something upIn many cases, you could also leave that wrench or leaf rake for the next guy; do you really need another one? But if you must stop, let everyone pass, look around for traffic, and then go back and get it.

...who creeps up and drafts off someone riding on the road or bike path without saying anything. Yes, it is more efficient to draft off someone else. It is also costs less to drink if you put your drinks on someone else's tab. But it doesn't mean you should just creep in uninvited.» Instead, just ask "Hey, mind if I sit on?" Conversely, if you find yourself being drafted anonymously, do treat the offending party civilly. "You're welcome to sit on, but you should know most cyclists take offense at strangers jumping on the wheel without saying anything."

...who yells obscenities and throws his bike in front of kids and other fans after a flat or a mechanical.» Instead, learn from an untimely mechanical how to be better prepared the next time. Whether it's better attention to bike maintenance, learning the right tire pressures or when to use sealant in your tubes, figure out what went wrong and why—and apply the lesson before the next race.

...who wipes his rear tire without hooking a thumb around the seatstay. We don't need another story about the inevitable consequences to tell the grandchildren. We already have several.» Instead, hook that thumb It may require some twisting of the elbow and shoulder, and it's especially hard with unistays...but it's better than winding up on the ground with your hand jammed between the seat tube and rear wheel.

...who tilts his saddle more than a few degrees up or down. Aside from looking dorky, it's really an indicator that something else is wrong with your bike fit.» Instead, get a professional bike fitting if you are uncomfortable or find you have to do dorky things to your bike to make it comfortable.

...who forgets his shoes. All the technological benefits of that $5,000 bike won't do you much good if you can't clip into your pedals.» Instead, establish a pre-race routine Have a dedicated place for your shoes in your gear bag, and double check your bag every time before you leave.

Don't Be That Guy...
...who half-wheels his training partners. If you want to continue to have training buddies, don't continually do things that are likely to annoy them. People have only so much patience for a half-wheeler. Unless the plan is for a competitive group ride, don't make it one.» Instead, stick to the plan If it's a recovery ride, relax and take it easy, and let your buddies do the same. If it's a long ride, do longer pulls if you want more. If it's an intensity ride, do your intervals full out, and do your rest periods fully as well; base your speed on what your body is up for, not what your buddy's is.

...who gets to the race right before the start.» Instead, show up early Get there with enough time to calmly register, pin your number, check your bike and warm up properly.

...who overcooks himself with mega-miles too early in the season. Great racing form is great—during the racing season. Going too hard, and doing too much intensity too soon could mean you're fried to a crisp by the time July rolls around.» Instead, follow the tried-and-true rules of periodization It's easy to let our legs replace our brains during those early spring days, when the motivation to shed the winter cobwebs is at its highest. But many others before us have already learned the lesson—gradually build into your season with adequate time for base miles. Don't know the word periodization? Go online right now and buy the Cyclist's Training Bible by Joe Friel before you do another ride.

...who yells at his spouse or better half. Whether she's standing around in a sweltering feed zone in the middle of nowhere to give you a bottle, or just patiently waiting for you at the finish, the important thing is that she's there at all. She is not your soigneur, and you are not a pro.» Instead, be grateful Even if your better half drops a bottle in the feed zone or doesn't understand your over-caffeinated ravings in the parking lot, keep some perspective. It's best to act is if people are watching; they are.

...who rides through red lights. Not only is it dangerous, but it's also against the law. Maybe you can get away with it when you're riding alone, but nothing angers motorists more than watching a group of cyclists jump past them at the lights when they are patiently waiting for them to change green.» Instead, stop and waitEven if the group goes ahead, you'll get in some extra training as you work to catch back on.

...who fiddles with bike set-up the night before. Handlebars coming loose, shifting going south, seatpost slipping...these are but a few of the possible outcomes that could pop up during a race after a late-night mechanic session the evening prior.» Instead, carefully check your bike well ahead of time Don't wait until the night before to make sure everything is dialed. Make bike maintenance a regular part of your weekly routine. This way, most of the jobs will be minor, and you won't end up in some comical worst-case-scenario during the big event.

...who gets upset at people for being competitive at races. We paid to pin these numbers on, Mr. "Chill Out, Why Don't You?" Guy.» Instead, keep some perspectiveRemember your sense of humor, courtesy and safety in races. It is just a bike race, after all. But you know what? It's also a freakin' bike race! Let's have fun. Let's race. That's why they painted a finish line.

...who finishes a spirited group ride by terrorizing small children and commuters on the multi-use path.» Instead, use the last few miles to warm downEnjoy a few minutes of easy riding while you flush out the nastiness from your muscles. Treat others on the path as people, not obstacles. Use the path to represent for your sport (and your team, club, gender, etc.).

...who pins a number on like a parachute. In a road race, criterium or time trial, it's an aerodynamic hindrance and an actual detriment to your performance. In any event, though, it's just ugly.» Instead, pin it flat like a pro Start with eight safety pins and your jersey flat on the ground. Starting at the top of the number, pinch the number and fabric together, then poke the pin through the fold. This way the pin will hold the jersey flat since it goes through the paper and fabric twice. Following around the edge of the number, attach the rest of the pins. Pull the jersey on, and re-pin where necessary to keep the number flat.

...who takes care of ill-timed business at the front of the group. Don't wait until you are at the front of the paceline to blow your nose, remove your arm warmers, fuss with your shift cable tension, dig food out of your rear pocket...You get the idea.» Instead, act like the captain of the good ship Peloton Keep the pace steady and the line smooth. Warn us of sand, glass and other nastiness. Take care of that other stuff when you are at the back.

Got a "Don't Be That Guy" suggestion? Send it to us at vnletters@competitorgroup.com with the subject line "That Guy." We'll be running a smaller version of this column in coming issues, and we may pick yours.

Sunday Sweet Sixteen

2009-11-01T19:31:00.003-05:00

Sorry that I suck at blogging. At least with these posts I'm at least blogging once a week.

1. I managed to at least bike once and row a bit.

2. This minor workout meant that the next day I woke up with my hip partially dislocated.

3. You know how the heel of your shoe sometimes folds in on itself? It felt like that.

4. I have yet to check out the gym at work.

5. I made it to the Gold's gym mecca in Maryland once.

6. Where some old guy coughed all over me for the entire workout

7. Apparently he missed the day in kindergarten when they go over "Cover your mouth when you cough".

8. And every CDC warning for the last like year.

9. I'm signing up for Team Fight again.

10. I'm doing the Half Full Triathlon.

11. Give me money.

12. Good luck next week at IMFL and B2B.

13. I've rediscovered a love for soup.

14. While yummy, not so good for fueling workouts.

15. I'm thinking about getting into trail running or hashing.
16. 2 Weeks until Suntrust, and the half I've been the least prepared for all year.

Sunday Sweet Sixteen

2009-10-25T21:11:00.002-04:00

I thought I should start blogging more often (as in more than once every quarter).
There's a group of people who do the whole Thursday Thirteen thing. But Thursdays are crappy days for me to blog, and I don't really care for the number 13.
So in the immortal words of Cartman, "Whatevah, I do what I want!".

1. I ran the Rock N Roll half marathon again.
2. It was slow but good.
3. I still hate crowds. And people. And crowds of people.
4. Someone ran as Woody from Toy Story.
5. My thyroid is all screwed up.
6. The doctors have no idea why.
7. One possible theory is iodine deficiency.
8. I would be the only person outside of the Ozarks to have that, if true.
9. And it's more proof that I need to live near an ocean.
10. I started a new job.
11. There's a gym in the bottom floor.
12. Which has a rowing machine!
13. Which is awesome because today started a new rowing challenge.
14. I think I'm going to go back to rowing next year.
15. I'm also leaning towards doing the Half tri with Team Fight.
16. But I'm not going to train for awhile, I'm super burned out.

More swimsuit splitting fun ...

2009-08-03T16:02:00.002-04:00

Maybe *now* they'll stop cheating, I mean wearing, the outlawed suits.

From Everyman Tri:
http://www.everymantri.com/everyman_triathlon/2009/07/video-american-swimmer-ricky-berens-rips-suit-and-reveals-tush-in-rome.html

American swimmer Ricky Berens is a Beijing gold medalist and now he's also an internet sensation since he revealed his tush at the the swimming world championships in Rome this weekend.
Berens was swimming the 4x100 relay but shortly before stepping onto the starting block Berens stretched and tore his suit.
The University of Texas swimmer said, "I kind of freaked out for just a second,I felt like [the split] was almost down to my knees. I felt like I was putting on a pretty good show."
Apparently Beren's tush must be pretty hydrodynamic as the rip did not slow him down much because he, along with the rest of his American relay team, took the gold medal in the event.

Swimsuit Malfunctions

2009-07-02T08:46:00.001-04:00

Top Italian swimmer's horror as her £318 bathing costume bursts open in a very unfortunate place at championship meet
By Mail Foreign ServiceLast updated at 3:22 PM on 01st July 2009

It's the wardrobe malfunction to end all wardrobe malfunctions.
Italian Olympic swimmer Flavia Zoccari was forced to sit out a championship race at the Mediterranean Games yesterday after her bathing costume burst open in a very unfortunate place.
Flavia, 22, was wearing the controversial £318 top-of-the-line Jaked J01 swimsuit when disaster struck at the Games in Pescara, Italy today.
Italian swimmer Flavia Zoccari is forced to step down from competition after her Jaked bathing costume burst open at the back at the Mediterranean Games yesterday

Flavia - understandably - burst into tears in embarrassment and frustration at the incident
She burst into tears as she was forced to stand down from her race.
Jaked boasts that the full-body swimsuit - complete with back hinge - is 'more than skin'.
However the aerodynamic costume has been the subject of controversy after it was banned by FINA (the International Swimming Federation) earlier this year because it gave swimmers wearing it an unfair advantage.
FINA lifted the ban on the swimsuit a month later, in June of this year, after Jaked, which sponsors the Italian national swim team, protested the ban.
Zoccari - who is nearly six feet tall - later apologised for the embarrassing incident.

The suit was a Jaked J01 - a controversial bathing costume that was banned by FINA, then approved

Flavia tries to recover from the event. Jaked sponsors the Italian team

Where I’ve been

2009-06-01T15:31:00.001-04:00

Sorry for being gone for so long.

I’ll post this first and then a couple shorter ones on my recent adventures.

About two months ago I got some zit looking things on my tonsil along with a bout of tonsilitis. It went away, then about six weeks later I got a couple more zit-like things on one of my tonsils. I didn’t feel full-on sick, but didn’t feel good either. Papa panda insisted I go to the doctor in case I had a latent case of strep. Apparently this can lead to all sorts of doomy things like heart infections, something, something.

I went to the doctor where I had gained another 5 pounds despite efforts to the contrary. They swabbed my throat like 3 times for strep. No go. Tried pressing on it with a Q-tip, no movement. The doctor thought I might have a cyst, and referred me to an ENT.

A week later I saw the ENT. In the interim, the tonsil zit burst, and some sort of object came out of it. I figured this was not normal. Apparently I had tonsiliths, which are tonsil stones. All these throats are yours except Europa … Four days later I got my tonsils out. That was two weeks ago.

Why the evil tonsils were removed:
Every time I get remotely sick, get near something I’m allergic to, or breathe wrong, they swell up.
Once, in college, my tonsils got super infected and swelled shut overnight and I spent the night in the hospital.
Lately my tonsils are in league with my kidneys in producing stones.
ENT said when he clamped them for the surgery, they oozed stuff. Gross.

About the tonsillectomy:
The person who drove me to the surgery and took care of me is a Saint. Canonized here as Saint Tonsilitis. His three miracles were not killing me when I was whiny, not killing me when I randomly started snoring post-surgery, making magically healing ice packs.
Also, running for Boston market, taking me to get pain meds, more jello, etc, not commenting on the ammount of ice cream I ate, letting me eat the mac and cheese and tiramisu myself.

Day before, go to gym since I won’t be able to work out for a while. Buy supply of soft food- jello, pudding, applesauce, supremed oranges, ice cream, etc.

My surgery was at 1pm. I was not allowed to have any food or drink after 8pm the previous day. I was borderline homicidal.

We got stuck on the Wilson bridge for almost an hour panicking that I would miss my surgery. Thank you WTOP for not reporting that both the local and the through lanes had construction work.

Anesthetic in, ow, hey my arm’s hanging off the tabzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Wake up. First blazing red thought- OWWWWW. Bang on gurney, attract nurse, sqeak/whisper out “HURTS!”. I get pain meds. Danger of crying like a little girl over.
Really want a hug. Puppy eyes alternating with lemon face.

Go home, encamp on sofa. Star Trek, Star Trek, movies, Star Trek.
Read both Sookie Stackhouse books Saint Tonsilitis got for me.

Sleep on deck. Discover medication causes instant sunburning and removes ability to thermoregulate.

Everything hurts. Carbonation hurts, anything remotely acidic hurts, food hurts, breathing hurts, pain med burns like FIRE. Sucking on ice, icing outside with bag of corn. Chasing pain med with jello.

About three days later I con the person taking care of me to take me to the gym. I am very bored. Turns out the reason you are not suppose to work out is that is makes the surgery site swell. This hurts a LOT. Also you have a lowered immune system and gyms are filthy. This does not go well.

Run out of pain meds TWICE.

Go see ENT for follow-up. Get steroid shot. Get Rx for more pain meds. Better but now puffy and sleepy.

Ten days after surgery. Still really, really hurts. Still unsuccessful in eating green beans, or really anything other than applesauce and mac and cheese.
Develop relationship with Boston Market.

Finally two weeks later, able to eat adult food again in very small bites. Not counting the hours until I can take more pain med. Thoroughly bored. Decide to decamp and go to work again.

Someday I hope to be able to eat Luna bars again. And Coke Zero that hasn’t been shaken up. And to stop yawning.

They didn’t tell me when I could start running again. I put a call in, but oddly, they haven’t responded yet.

Fits and Starts

2009-04-19T20:13:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago I opted to back off on my running 1. to give my body a break, and 2. to taper for the Dorchester half marathon. The race follows the Eagleman run course so it would be a good opportunity to check out if I want to do Eagleman on a charity slot.

I did not plan on it pouring enough to float an ark on. Dorchester is a good hour and a half away, from both here and really anything (sorry Dorchester, but seriously).
Driving 1.5 hours in the pouring rain to run 2.5 hours in the rain then drive 1.5 hours back in the pouring rain sounded … not fun. And like a good opportunity to get bronchitis to go with my tonsilitis.
I chose French toast instead.

This week was filled with an emotional rollercoaster and not enough ice cream. I did actually buy the single serve kind this time so if I want to eat 500 of ice cream in one serving I at least have to run the stairs a few times. Drama at work and the potential for having to job search made me a little crazy.

Saturday was the tri club bricknic and I was sorry to miss it, but personal life won this round. I had intentions of running the Clyde’s 10K this morning, but the impending emotional meltdown hit and I spent the morning watching 90210 instead.

Eventually I’ll get around to running so I can keep my sanity.

You’ll go blind!

2009-04-18T19:18:00.002-04:00

If I had a dollar for every time I heard that.

Friday I had my second swim lesson, where I learned that having boobs does not in fact help you breast stroke. Kind of gets in the way, actually. I also learned that breaststroke seems to make my goggles leak more than freestyle, and I almost lost my right contact once.

I struggled with said contact all weekend. Sunday I got annoyed and threw it away, the left one got to stay in.

Monday, I put a new contact in, but something wasn’t quite right. Left side, fine. Right side, kind of fuzzy. Double checked the prescription, it was the same as the other one. I managed to drive to work. Threw it away in case it was just a weird one. New contact not better. Tried it in other eye, right eye still weird. I lived with the funky vision for about an hour before I gave in and called the eye doctor. Dealing with it gave me the worst headache all day.

Woke up today and my vision was fine, but I was overdue for my eye appointment anyways. Somehow I remembered not to put on mascara. Mentioned to technician that I’m swimming. I was chastised for not bringing glasses, and then again for not owning glasses. My job has vision benefits but good luck trying to get a claim filled.

A few drops in the eyes to make me look like a blinky Anime character and then back to the waiting room. Meanwhile, inexplicably, the fire alarm went off. The fire department showed up with two trucks and everything. According to the old ladies in the waiting room, the firemen (they were all men) were hot. I can’t vouch for this since my pupils were the size of dinner plates, but I have it on good authority.

Then I got to see the doctor where I was told that wearing my contact overnight was bad, and I needed to get glasses and clean my contacts overnight. Then he recommended that I not wear my contacts while swimming and that contacts are like sponges that soak up all the nastiness and hold it next to your eye. He gave me a prescription which I was supposed to use to get prescription goggles, which I planned on getting filled the 10th of Never. I must have had the "I’m totally feeding these lima beans to the dog the second your back is turned" look, because then I got a prescription for daily disposable contacts to wear while swimming. He also said something about increasing my chances of getting a corneal infection by like 20 times, but by that point I was thinking about cupcakes.

Opening Day

2009-04-18T19:03:00.001-04:00

Crew started today.
I didn’t get up at 4am.
I didn’t drive to the boathouse.
I didn’t watch a 20 year old safety video from when they still had wooden paddles that could be used for flotation devices.
I didn’t take an erg test.
I didn’t Simple Green the boat.
I didn’t do all these things before dawn.

Because I’m not rowing this year.

I knew rowing for my own team (snicker) would be a bridge too far.
Annapolis has a Sunday recreational rowing program I considered, but they had a weird volunteer requirement and I like my lazy Sundays.

I’m already thinking next year will be a crew year with triathlon taking the background.

Maybe.

I came, I swam, I conquered

2009-04-18T18:57:00.003-04:00

I finally accepted that I am not going to be capable of swimming the IM swim leg unless I get serious help. So I signed up for an endurance lap swimming class through Parks and Recreation.

No, my swim instructor is not Amy Poehler. Although that would be awesome.

The first night there was only one other girl there, did I mention my class is at 8pm on Friday nights? I always forget that while I suck at swimming by competitive standards, I’m actually decent compared to the average American. It was nice for once not to be the worst person in the pool. And it was really, really nice to be able to comfortably complete the drills.

The other girl was really nice and I like her a lot, and the coach is really cool. He told me to kick more and harder which was interesting since my last swim coach told me kicking was essentially a waste of energy. The new coach also taught me this bobbing bubble thing which might be my new favorite thing to do in the pool.

After every lap I’m supposed to bob underwater and blow all the air out, repeating ten times. It gets rid of that tightness in your chest when you don’t breathe completely and properly the way I don’t.

While we were having our lesson the high school(?) synchronized swim team was practicing. It was bizarre and fascinating. All in all an interesting way to spend a Friday night.

Lucky Number 13

2009-03-30T20:36:00.004-04:00

Unlucky Number 10

First of all, I apologize for the lameness of my posts lately. I am super burned out. Work and the increasing miles are sucking my life force, and the diet is preventing me from replenishing those stores with ice cream and pizza (my version of dilithium crystals). Coke Zero consumption is at an all time high though.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand.

I need to run 10 miles this weekend. This is assuming I ever complete my 9 miles from this past weekend. I’m giving the sore throat another day to make up its mind then I’m proceeding with running regardless.

The problem is that 10 miles is possibly a cursed number for me. I really like running 5 milers, 10Ks, and especially half marathons. 10 milers have historically been disastrous.

Let’s look back:
Cherry Blossom, a few years ago. Saturday is spent on a walking tour of the Tidal Basin and at the Smithsonian. Sunday I get up to run the race and feel like death. I bail. Sleep a lot and barely eat. Monday- kidney stone.
Cherry Blossom last year. I optimistically sign up. I get in. Unexpected Third Time’s The Charm shoulder surgery. I offload my race number and take walking tour again.
GW Parkway 10 miler. Supposed to run with S. I can’t remember what my issue was but I didn’t run it. And S got runner’s knee.
Baltimore 10 miler. I don’t remember what happened last year, just that I bailed on it for injury or illness again.

I really want to run the Baltimore 10 miler and I need to run 10 this weekend. I’m just worried that I’ll twist an ankle, tweak a knee, or blow out a kidney or something.

How do I break a running curse? Burn some sage? Throw a pair of new running shoes into a volcano?

It takes a week to run 8 miles

2009-03-27T07:36:00.002-04:00

The final event of an Ironman is a marathon. That’s 26.2 miles for people who are too lazy to Wikipedia it or big fat cheaters like Dane.
Anyways, I’ve never run a full marathon. I’ve run a baker’s dozen of halfs (halves?), but not a full. I decided I need to run a full so I’ll know at IMFL that I can do it.

Originally, I had planned on running Shamrock. It’s pretty there, it won’t be too hot, and I’d have people who are obligated to take care of me there. Even though as they frequently remind me, they have a lot of life insurance on me.
I did not plan on getting sick twice and food poisoning so that plan was kind of screwed.

I got on Marathonguide.com and checked out other options. My logic was, I should travel for it, since it’s a cool way to explore the city. And I don’t really like to travel too far for tris, since it involves packing the bike and a lot of other gear. Running just requires shoes. Although I heard TSA will confiscate “The Stick”.

So I settled on San Francisco. It’s in July which gives me enough time to get settled in my training, not too close to the IM or any planned training halfs. And even in July it’s 50 degrees, so it won’t be miserable. And, you get to run across the Golden Gate Bridge. Awesome!

I hit both Hal Higdon’s site and the RW Smart Coach and came up with what I felt was a reasonable plan. Mostly cross training, since I do have two other sports to work on, with a medium run and a long run each week.

I’ve been sticking to the plan pretty well, not always on the day they’re scheduled, but gotten them done. Then came last weekend’s 8 miler. My last long run before recovery week. I so needed recovery week last week. I had that irrationally cranky burnout feeling.

I should have run on Saturday. I wasn’t feeling it. Biked instead. Went to Cheesecake Factory.
Sunday, woke up late. Abandoned plan to run loops at local park with friend. Watched Psych. No gym.
Monday, sleep deprived. Cranky.
Tuesday, intended to run on treadmill. Instead conference wore me out. Who knew standing was so exhausting?
Wednesday, should have been medium run day. I didn’t have to be at the conference until 10. Planned to get up at 7 and run before conference. Slept until 9.
Thursday. Migraine. Light hurt. Sound hurt. Moving even fractionally made me nauseous. Managed to drive home and ordered Angelico’s. Also, Smucker’s makes the best sugar free fudge ever.
Friday. Gave in to the recovery week. Researched possibilities to run on Saturday or Sunday. Went to swim lesson.
Saturday. Tried to run with Tri team. Made it three miles. Confusing course left me feeling unsafe. Also, eating Friday night and more Saturday morning would have been a better plan.
Sunday. Should have run 15K. Beautiful outside. Swam instead.

Monday. Finally freaking ran the F-ing 8 miles. On the TREADMILL. Really, painfully boring. Took two episodes of CSI Vegas to do it. Came home. Ate leftover Chinese food, ice cream from the carton, Smucker’s from the bottle, and fell asleep in my gym clothes.

Things I’ve Bought that I love Too

2009-03-14T23:14:00.004-04:00

Last year I bought a Danskin tri kit. It was aqua with an aloha print, and possibly one of the most comfortable outfits I’ve ever owned. It’s soft. It never chafes. There are lots of pockets in good places, and breathes even on the hottest of days.

Last week, REI sent me a 20% off coupon and notification of my member rebate. What to spend it on? More water bottles for my protein shakes? New snowboarding goggles? Or the new Danskin tri suit. In PINK!!!

The patterend top was a bit busy and the totally pink top was too pink even for me, and I like pink. So I got the black top and shorts with a hint of 80’s pink printing. Pandarific.

Take another little piece of my heart

2009-03-14T23:09:00.000-04:00

Since I decided to sign myself up for an Ironman, making sure I got my annual physical seemed like a good idea.
I’ve also been super prone to getting colds and other fun stuff from all my filthy germy friends, and I’ve been tired a lot. Like I’m good for about 3 days and then I need a break from life to catch up.

Yeah, that would be because I’m mildly anemic. And that was before they took what felt like a pint of blood out. I’m sure it was really only an ounce, but I swear I could hear the slurping straw at the bottom of the glass sound.
Problem (hopefully) easily solved. (Provided it’s not the result of a giant hole in my stomach).

The other news is my cholesterol and triglycerides are through the roof.

Let’s review:
I’m vegetarian
I do a cardio workout for at least an hour 4 times a week.
I almost exclusively use EVOO in cooking.
At home, I only eat low-fat cheese.
I only eat sugar-free low-fat ice cream and yogurt.
I rarely drink.

What. The. F?!!!!

How did this happen?

Am I sleep walking to McDonald’s?

Is Coke Zero made with lard?

Now I’m on a semi-restrictive diet for the next six months. Apparently if you have blood sugar issues, you can convert carbs to triglycerides instead of making them available for use. Awesome. So no bagels, no pasta, no Angelico’s for a while.
Oh and I’m physically incapable of carb loading.

Angry Panda.

If I had a million dollars, Second Verse

2009-03-05T21:17:00.002-05:00

In wanting to get updates on the Tour De France a couple years ago, I wound up on the Carmichael Training System’s emailing list.

Weekly, I get emails about climbing and biking camps all over the country. Since I don’t live in Boulder, it would require travel, hotel stays, etc. in addition to the (high) cost of the camp itself.

But if I ever became a lady of leisure, I would:
Hire a full time coach
Go to various sports camps for stuff I suck at
Pay someone to wash my hair once a week. Seriously, that’s divine.
Laser etch the Jolly Roger on the moon.
Get massages twice a week.

I would also do this:
“Welcome to The Surf Diva Costa Rica Surf Adventure!

Surf Diva School has enjoyed its reputation as the world's #1 surf school for women for more than 10 years! The original surf school opened in La Jolla, California in 1996. Since then, Surf Diva has taught thousands of women, men and children from all over the world how to surf. Based on this success, Surf Diva Surf School opened The Surf Diva Costa Rica Surf Adventure in 2004. Now in its fourth year, the all-inclusive surf camp for women and families is ideal for surf enthusiasts of every level from beginners to experienced wave-riders.”

What's Included:
Ground transportation to and from San Jose, Costa Rica
7 days, 6 nights accommodation
2 surf lessons each day, including equipment usage
Light, Surfer's Yoga 4 days a week
One massage for the week
Pre-surf fruit and coffee each day
Post-surf Costa Rican brunch each day
Dinner at a different restaurant each night
Surf Diva goody bag, including: Surf Diva tote, Surf Diva rashguard, Surf Diva flashlight, currency conversion chart, Surf Diva baseball hat, Surf Diva t-shirt

A crew teammate went, it was an anniversary gift from her husband. I looked it up and have been daydreaming about it ever since.

I’m from the beach, and I never learned to surf. And this just sounds like paradise.
Maybe next year. One fantasy at a time and this year is Ironman.

http://www.surfdivacostarica.com/

DNFU

2009-03-05T20:41:00.002-05:00

I used to love The Biggest Loser.

I know reality television is trashy. I know that the contestants represent a small, unrealistic population, I know the methods used are completely unreasonable. I loved it anyways.

I was especially happy with this season’s cast since they seemed to be in it to truly lose weight and get healthy, not for the money.

Apparently the black team missed the memo.

A little background:
Each week after a contestant is voted off, there’s a “Where are they now?” segment which shows how they’re adjusting to life at home, and incorporating their weight loss routine into their life.
Dane and Blaine are cousins who made up the original black team. Not to be confused with Jillian’s black team.

After Blaine was voted off, in his WATN segment he said he was training for an Ironman triathlon. Too bad his race is an F-ing OLY.

Let’s be clear about this: An Ironman is a 2.4 mile swim, a 112 mile bike, and a marathon which is a 26.2 mile run (paying attention to that last one Dane?). Period.

Wanting to sound cool does not justify flat out lying about what you’re training for. And NBC needs to get some integrity and find a fact checker.

After Dane was voted off, in his WATN segment, they depicted him finishing a marathon in 3:53.
Two problems:
The clock didn’t actually read 3:53. It read 5:53. NBC blamed burned out bulbs (snort), other sites say it’s obviously photoshopped. Draw your own conclusions.
They didn’t run the entire marathon. I don’t mean they took walk breaks. I mean they pulled a Rosie Ruiz, and were given a ride (some say for 3 miles) and then dropped off so NBC could get their money shot.

Dane gave a statement saying how proud he was to have run the entire marathon with his wife, and how proud he was to have finished in 3:54. Kind of shoots a hole in the burned out bulb excuse.

After several people who really did run a full marathon complained, Dane and later NBC came out with apologies over misleading viewers.
Dane said he went back later and ran the ridden miles so he could say he finished the whole marathon, but good luck trying to get anyone to believe that. He also blamed producers for pushing him into it.
Dane, you are a grown adult. YOU choose how you live your life and how you are perceived. YOU are responsible for your actions. The “Producers made me do it” excuse might have worked for the first reality show, but by now we’re all aware of the game.

The worst is the explanation that the film crew wanted a shot of them finishing, and they were worried they wouldn’t finish in time. Seriously? I think when you come with cameras and a big name network, the race will work around that for you. Or you could film the finish before the marathon starts- provided you actually run it. This is some f-ed up Jeffrey Dahmer logic.

Dane’s actions cheapened the accomplishments of people who actually did gut it out to the finish, regardless of how long it took them to finish or how few people would still be around to see it.
It’s offensive to the people who ran the race and finished fast. Their accomplishments have been overshadowed by your reality show media circus.
And it’s offensive to those who really did go home and achieve dreams they had put off while struggling with their weight.

They both disgust me.

Blaine can have a karmic misdemeanor for his offense, since it might have been an honest misunderstanding. Plausible, but I still call bullshit.
Dane has continued to display a lack of integrity previously only seen on episodes of “Rock of Love”. And I’m being generous here.

He refused to return the medal for a race he didn’t finish. And his wife made statements saying it isn’t a big deal since they received a ride for “only” three miles.
So, Dane, if I show up to a college football game, can I say I won the Heisman? Or does that only work when it’s you.

His wife also referenced “being in the industry”. I can only conclude that it was a publicity stunt from the beginning, and they never intended to finish the whole marathon.

Usually I have to have dated or worked with someone to hate them this much. You’re lucky it’s Lent or I’d put you on the Christmas List.

Links to form your own opinion. Feel free to cheer for anyone else if you decide to watch the finale. The thought of one of these cheaters winning $100 grand makes me want to vomit.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29490063/
http://tvwatch.people.com/2009/03/03/biggest-loser-dane-addresses-his-controversial-marathon-run/

Fat bottom girls you make the biking world go round

2009-02-23T19:04:00.000-05:00

I might have gained a tiny bit of weight in the offseason. A number of things contributed to this: tons of job stress, bagels, cold part 1, discovery of Birthday Cake Remix at Coldstone, cold part deux, lime taco chips, Angelico’s, Angelico’s, Angelico’s …

Luckily, I’m not alone. My tri team has started a challenge to lose the off-season weight. Starting March 15, running through June. Using a truly awesome website.
http://fatbet.net

Funny stuff on their website:
Registration:
Gender:
Lady __ Ladies' Man __

User agreement:
Fatbet.net won’t sell your personal information or invade your privacy. We just want you to lose some weight and have fun in the process. Honest. In exchange, we ask you to agree to the following:
I understand that I should seek advice from a medical professional before embarking on a weight loss and/or fitness program. I understand that the creators of Fatbet.net are not medical or weight-loss professionals. I’m not sure they’re even professionals.
I am responsible for what I write to other members of my Fatbet group(s) in the message board area. If someone gets upset because something I wrote was mean-spirited, I will apologize and try to make it up to them.

The Fatbet wager or penalty
Fatbets are about losing weight and competition. All who hit their goals get bragging rights, and those who don't nurse bruised egos until the next round. A Fatbet wager is an additional motivator. Fatbet.net is not a gambling site, so if money changes hands in a Fatbet, we don’t really want to know. Here are some Fatbets that do not involve cash:
Losers sing in a Karaoke bar; winners pick the songs
Losers let facial or leg hair grow unchecked for 30 days
Losers run naked through Seattle Center
Use your imagination. We admit that embarrassing Fatbet losers doesn't exactly follow a supportive weight-loss group model, but it can work for the hard core among us who grew up when gym teachers were still mean.

Unless otherwise stipulated in the Fatbet, losers pay the stated wager or penalty only once. For example, if the wager states that Fatbet losers must pay 10 goats, the losers do not have to give each winner 10 goats. The 10 goats would go into a kitty (or in this case, pen) to be split among the winners. If the goats cannot be evenly divided among the winners, the remaining goats shall be slaughtered immediately and the meat divided by weight (use your digital scale).
Goooooooooooooooooooooat!

How can I change my start weight?
If you guessed at your beginning weight or for some other reason (like you're a Big Fat Cheater) you need to adjust it later:
How can I change my goal weight?
If you have a legitimate reason to adjust your personal goal weight up or down (usually before the bet is underway):
Your new goal will now be reflected in the Leader Board table and in your progress chart. If you have cheated, you may burn for eternity in Hell.

It’s like the Psych writers created a weight loss site. They need more 80’s references though.
Anyways, we all know I love an online challenge. It’s an addiction, with doctors and everything.
And I definitely grew up when gym teachers were mean. HATED gym.

So I’ll endeavor to post results (assuming I have any), feel free to play along. Rainmaker you’re not allowed to play since you have 5% body fat. Unless you want to lose and run naked through Seattle center.

Night and Day

2009-02-23T19:03:00.000-05:00

I might have slightly overtrained last week. I worked out 6 consecutive days, ending with a 7 mile run at the GW marathon relay (ask me about that race I dare you).
So all last week I felt like death. Just tired and worn out and like I was getting sick. I backed way off and ate a bunch of Cold Eeze but didn’t sleep much. I attempted to hit the gym Saturday and trying to run resulted in dead legs and wheezing. I traded in for the elliptical and ab work, and chased with Chinese food and Coldstone.
Sunday morning I had the 3 hour spin class. Can I say how bad I DID NOT WANT TO GO. But I had bailed on the last two classes and I didn’t think I could in good faith bail again. I ate my French toast and dragged my ass to class.
On the beltway. It’s snowing. Kind of a lot. Call R, no snow day. Class is still on. Sigh.

Get to class. The theme is Night and Day, so we heard songs like:
Midnight Train to Georgia
(BYO Pips)
Every Day is a Winding Road
This is the Night

It was kind of a sparse class Sunday, apparently quite a few people were sick, yet another cold going around. But the quieter group actually let me zone out more and just spin. It’s the best I’ve felt spinning in a while. And definitely better than I felt at the body parts class. When I got home, I was tired but definitely felt a lot better than I did Saturday, you could say a night and day difference.

Cast Iron Panda

2009-02-18T20:05:00.000-05:00

Even though this is a remarkably ambitious goal, I signed up for Inside Out Sports’ Cast Iron Club. What can I say, I love online challenges. Mmmmm, metrics. Plus- free t-shirt!

Here’s the straight dope:

Cast Iron Club
Inside-Out Sports is proud to offer our “Cast Iron Club” for the second year. This club is for those of you who are hard headed and committed enough to swim, bike and run through the equivalent of 30 Ironmans in one year. Whether you are an experienced Ironman or a novice triathlete training for your first race, don’t stop now….if you keep reading and you will see how easy and rewarding this program can be.
The program is simple:
Register for the program at www.insideoutsports.com. Cost is only $7 and the deadline is April 31st. When you sign up, you will receive an Inside-Out Sports 28 oz water bottle.
Record your swim, bike, and run mileage and report it monthly using this form. We use the honor system so if you cheat, we leave your fate up to karma. For convenience, we offer a yard to miles calculator for swimming mileage.
At the end of the year (Dec. 31st 2008), if you reach the goal of:
72 miles of swimming
3360 miles of biking
786 miles of running

You will receive:
A Certificate of Achievement
A Tech Running Shirt commemorating your incredible achievement
Rights to brag to all your friends

If you think the goal mileage is out of reach, think again. If you swim 0.75 mile (or 1320 yards) two times per week, if you ride 35 miles two times per week, and run 5.5 miles 3 times per week, you will reach your 30 Ironman goal in 48 weeks, or 11 months.
We hope that you will see The Cast Iron Club as a fun way to keep you motivated and consistent throughout the year.

So based on my laziness in January, I have to accomplish the following per month to stay on plan:
7.2 miles of swimming.
289 miles of biking.
And 70.8 miles of running.

We’ll see how it goes.

If you want to play along:
http://www.insideoutsports.com/index.aspx?urlname=castironclub

Rank and File

2009-02-18T20:00:00.001-05:00

USAT rankings came out.
In order to be ranked, you have to participate in at least three triathlons in the year. Last year, I did exactly 3. One of which I won my age group by default. Somehow, I still managed to get ranked, woot!

http://www.usatrankings.com/Pages/MemberPages/RankingQuery.aspx

Order First Name Last Name Age Score Gender Grading
1 Iron Panda Old 41.86057 46.04663

Hearts Afire

2009-02-10T21:18:00.001-05:00

This week is the Valentine’s Day rowing challenge. Since I tanked on the Winter Holiday challenge thanks to being sick twice, I’m starting again with this one.

The rules:
The goal is to row a total of 14,000 meters between 12:00 a.m. Monday, February 9th and midnight on Valentine's Day, Saturday, February 14, 2009.
This is an individual challenge. (You do not need to belong to a team to participate.)
Meters must be entered online.
Only indoor rower meters count (no water meters please).

Heading to the gym tonight to get started.

USAT MF

2009-02-10T21:00:00.002-05:00

This past weekend I ventured down to the USAT Mid Atlantic meeting in Richmond. Mainly to help the club out by providing an extra body for the club challenge, the club with the most people there wins cash. We won for the second most people there, and apparently donated the money to the Challenged Athletes Foundation. It’s a great cause, but if I had known we were going to do that I probably wouldn’t have gone.

There was supposed to be a silent auction for various race entries. However, in true USAT fashion, they waited until the last minute. I didn’t even know about it until I walked past the table and asked about it.
And the opening bids were all set for the price of the entry. FAIL again.
When you set up a silent auction, you set the opening bid for about half of what the item is worth. If you’ve done your homework, you’ve advertised what is being auctioned off so people are excited about the items and you start the auctions with competition for the items.
Most people already have planned their race schedules by now, and their budgets are set. This would have been a good idea to have online probably a month ago.
Anyway, the auction was supposed to support the CAF, so it’s doubly sad that it was handled so poorly, and I didn’t like feeling like the club donated our winnings to cover for the USAT’s F up.

Bob Babbitt, one of the original Ironmen gave a fantastic talk. It was all about the early days of Ironman where you had two days to complete the course, and he did it on a beater bike in a long sleeve cotton t-shirt. It was fascinating. Apparently, his support crew, which was legal in those days, brought him a Big Mac, fries, and coke to eat on the bike course. And he took a 45 minute nap during a massage in transition. He actually gained weight during the event from eating so much sweet bread. I love him. He was a great speaker, just told stories without pushing anything on us, if you get a chance to meet him or hear him speak, GO!
http://ironman.com/holdingcell/2003/july-2003/bob-babbitttriathlons-greatest-ambassadorironmans-spirited-soothsaye

Unfortunately, they ended his talk to let a guy try to pitch his mental coaching services to us. Mental coaching is the new Fauxhawk. Everyone is talking about it or trying to sell it to you, but there is very little accreditation or education supporting their advice. I cannot stand when people try to sell pop psychology bullshit. I tuned out and read my Self magazine in an effort to keep my mouth shut and not out this idiot.
Just a piece of advice: you probably wouldn’t hire a coach who hadn’t ever completed a triathlon himself, would you? Same goes for mental coaching. And this should be their primary business, not some side effort to soak money from patsies who don’t check credentials.

Later, we heard from the Duathlon Nationals guy. There will be a keg, and a club challenge, and amazing swag. The race is cheap too, only $35 so it’s looking pretty tempting. Did I mention no swimming?

In other news, don't stay at the Omni. The staff is impeccable. Amazing customer service. But they can't make up for the fact that the walls are paper thin, and the facilities have not been kept up. Bed was soft, noise incessant, toilet ran ... it made for a very cranky ride home the next day when neither one of us had slept more than a few hours. And we were both too tired to run the du course like we would have liked.

If you get a chance, eat at the Tobacco Company. Mashed potatoes where you could taste the heavy cream. Great martinis. Yummy tiramisu. And there's an atrium that runs up the center of all three floors. Awesome.
http://www.thetobaccocompany.com/

PB&S

2009-02-10T20:57:00.001-05:00

Sorry for not posting much lately. I was sick right before Thanksgiving. Sick over Christmas, in a minor car accident after New Year’s, and then sick again.
Coincidentally, there’s a warning out regarding peanut butter products. Just in case you’ve been living under a rock and missed it, here are the details:
http://www.accessdata.fda.gov/scripts/peanutbutterrecall/index.cfm#Snack%20Bar

Guess who ate a Kashi chewy peanut butter granola bar a week before they showed up on the list. And spent the next week being violently ill on and off. It was the same time frame the Norovirus was going around so they’re not 100% I had salmonella, but my symptoms lasted a long time and seemed more consistent with salmonella.

I am finally back to eating mass quantities of pizza, so everything is okay.

Body Movin

2009-01-14T21:28:00.005-05:00

Saturday was the return of the 3 hour spin class. At least for me. People who didn't have evil colds over Thanksgiving and New Year's and get into car accidents started a few weeks ago.

The theme was body parts so there were a lot of songs with heart in them, Betty Davis Eyes, and You Were Always on My Mind (disco version). The only thing on my mind was my very, very sore saddle.

Meanwhile, the bike shop guy had given me a bottle of goop to try out. It come in a bottle that looks like a Fifth, and is curved to fit well in the back pocket of your jersey. It's supposed to shoot out one serving of this really liquid goo every time you squeeze it, sort of the bastard child of Gatorade and Gu. However, like a mule it got the worst of both parents. It was supposed to be orange flavored, but tasted more like orange peel. it was oddly bitter. It also leaked over EVERYTHING and is stickier than Superglue. I gave it to one of the guys in the class to try and he literally couldn't swallow it.
I dutifully called the bike shop to let them know how it went over and apparently there has been some similar feedback, great idea, but tastes like (insert body part here). I'll stick with Hammer gel and my Gelbot.

Is this heaven? No, it's Maryland.

2008-12-23T14:45:00.006-05:00

So, yeah. Sorry for not blogging. I have been sick and generally lame.

I swam for the first time in like 3 months so I could feel less guilty about not holding up my end of the National Club Challenge. I was lapped by the junior high school swim team.

I joined the mini gym across the street from my office. The treadmills have their own like 15" TV screens so I got to watch Sportscenter and CSI while I jogged on my lunch break. Unfortunately, there was an incident with a bottle of bath oil in my gym bag, so everything will smell like lavender for a while.

Anyways, a friend took me to the Gold's Gym in Bowie.
It. is. awesome.
They have a movie room where you can run, elliptical, or bike while you watch movies. I might never leave.
And they have bikes with like Bike-o-vision so as you pedal you get a bike's eye view.
And the machines all have places to plug headphones in so you can watch the Eagles game.
I'm moving in this weekend.

Rowing is good

2008-11-28T09:27:00.002-05:00

My plan for black Friday was to ignore the shopping world and go into work for a few hours to clear some things out before Monday. However, since I was both super sick and locked myself out of my timesheet, I'm on vacation today on the books. Since I'm on my own time I think I'm going to try to sleep off the rest of my fever.
Worst cold in recent history turned into sinus infection and now eye infection. Yum!

My non-Turkey day was spent watching a James Bond marathon and eating lime taco chips and mint ice cream. It was the only thing that even remotely sounded appetizing. Even living on Theraflu and yogurt for three days I managed to gain weight. Not fair.

Thank goodness for the Winter Holiday Rowing Challenge.

The Details
Row 100,000 meters or 200,000 meters between November 27 (Thanksgiving) and midnight December 24.

The best part! I picked the Nature Conservancy.
Support a Good Cause with Meters Rowed
Besides helping you maintain your fitness and fend off holiday weight gain and stress, we’re giving you the option of supporting a good cause with your meters rowed. Consider it a holiday gift to the planet.
For every person that rows at least 100k during the challenge, and chooses to donate, Concept2 will gift $.02 for every kilometer (1000 meters) you row to your choice of the following organizations: The Nature Conservancy, Conservation International or the Alliance for Climate Protection. And once you get beyond 100k, we’ll donate $.04 per kilometer rowed. Our goal through this group effort is to raise a total $50,000 to support these causes.

In recent years, we have had around 5000 people participate in the Holiday Challenge! We are hoping that this new incentive will bring in even more people and encourage past participants to row more meters than ever to help us reach our goal. Please invite your friends to join us. Our strength is in our numbers. It’s like rowing an eight: when you all work together in synchrony, you become greater than the sum of the parts.

200K meters is kind of a lofty goal for me. I've tried to be competitive in past years. This time I'm going to take it easy since the rebuilt shoulder isn't rebuilt in the awesome Jaime Sommers kind of way.

Much like awesomeness and attractiveness, the rowing challenge is free.

Xena was in Pharoah's land ...

2008-11-25T18:12:00.004-05:00

I hate sick.
I hate snool.
I hate sore throats.
I hate finally being ready to work out and not being able to.
All only slightly more than I hate going to the doctor.

So I either have some montrous cold, or I have a sinus infection. Awesome.

Now I have a cold/sinus infection and a prescription.

What can I do that won't make me sicker?

Also I set up an appointment for a physical for January since I got trashed and signed up for IMFL. Seems like a good idea to get a baseline before I liquidate all my organs.

Sick of being sick.

2008-11-24T11:33:00.004-05:00

Now I have some sort of sore throat thing.
I've gone through two bottles of Theraflu and a box of tissues. May I recommend Puffs with Vick's Vaporub. Should not be legal.

Despite being miserable I gutted out a 5K on the treadmill this weekend while watching Air Force One. This will probably prolong my illness another week.

And waking up at 4 am with a sore throat, since I couldn't sleep, seemed like a perfectly reasonable time to start on a deep dish apple pie.

I peeled and sliced 7 big arse granny smith apples at 4am with no problem. I try to grate cheese during the day for mac and cheese and nearly take my thumb off. Go figure.

Puppies, pools, and promises

2008-11-21T11:49:00.003-05:00

I'm housesitting for a couple days for fellow Zer and blogger J.
She has a very stubborn pit/ bulldog mix, who is also completely adorable. You have to love a dog who brings you a toy every time you come in.
Puppy number two is some kind of a pointer mix, but she looks like a Weimaraner but less creepy. She's smoky gray, very delicate, and super snuggly. We watched Dodgeball last night on the sofa together.
And the kitty, who sounds like a Siamese when he meows and could stand to put a call in to Jenny Craig.

While at J's house checking on the assorted pets, I saw her swimsuit hanging on the bathroom dooknob. Hey, that kind of looks like a pirate. Hey, that's the Jolly Roger in pink! And it says "Arrrrrrrgh" on the butt! Awesome! Where on earth does one buy such a ridiculously awesome swimsuit? I check the tag and the answer is Splish. The best. swimsuit website. EVER!

My personal favorites:
The Pirate:
Perfect for swabbing the pool deck in.
http://www.splish.com/store/product18.html

The keystone cop:
Do you know how fast you were swimming?
http://www.splish.com/store/product576.html

The tuxedo, which is also available in Dumb and Dumber varieties:
http://www.splish.com/store/product14.html

Pink Elephant. As in ignoring the giant pink elephant in the room- that I can't swim to save my life.
http://www.splish.com/store/product1.html

Danger tape:
Truth in advertising
http://www.splish.com/store/product21.html

Da Bomb:
http://www.splish.com/store/product495.html

I'm a winner:
I don't know why but I cannot stop giggling over this.
http://www.splish.com/store/product513.html

Starry night:
Insert heavenly body joke here.
http://www.splish.com/store/product102.html

Poison:
Never trust a big butt and a smile.
http://www.splish.com/store/product447.html

Best part, they also have awesome swim caps. And t-shirts. The only tricky part is a lot of the super awesome suits have spaghetti straps, not sure I can get away with that.

And Jeanne I promise that if I don't die training for IMFL that I will still do relays with you and Supersnail with obnoxious names. I'm shooting for the long ball, but I promise not to become a Fasthole.

I will always be an 8th grade humor, snuggly, obnoxious Panda. Iron, tungsten, or aluminum.

Hibernating

2008-11-17T11:29:00.004-05:00

The flu and other illnesses have prevented my starting the training plan for IMFL but today is the day. I am going to the gym and getting in my 45' Zone 2 run.

What I've been doing instead:

Cooking. A lot. Breakfast is my favorite meal and I've been making French toast, pancakes, rice pudding, bread pudding, Irish oatmeal, yummmmm.

Watching lots of TV - one of the stars of True Blood is a friend of a friend so I've been trying to help out the ratings. It's also a pretty awesome show.

And Dexter although this season has been kind of weak.

And the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. It is vapid, I know, but I LOVE this show.

Helping someone set up house.

A friend PCS'ed up here and I got dominion over the kitchen. I already own every kitchen appliance short of a KitchenAid, so it's fun to start again with someone else's house.

Writing Christmas cards! I send out about 150 every year. If you want one send me your mailing address.

Online Christmas shopping. Yay Amazon wish lists.

And I bit the bullet and signed up for crew winter conditioning. Sometime in January, you'll be able to wash your laundry on my abs. Heyo!

Free with ballot: Starbucks, ice cream, kittens ...

2008-11-04T14:05:00.004-05:00

Just in case you've been living underground in the name of science or something. Today is election day!

Red, blue, or in my case pink you should go vote!

Then get your free Starbucks:
http://www.starbucks.com/sharedplanet/news.aspx

And your free Ben and Jerry's:
http://www.benandjerrys.com/features/i_voted/

Not to mention a buck off with your sticker at Cake Love.
http://www.cakelove.com/

And star spangled donuts!
http://www.krispykreme.com/images/hot_vote_now08_pop.jpg

Oh and you get democracy or something, but seriously, free stuff!
http://lifehacker.com/5075721/election-day-freebies-roundup

Dog chasing a car

2008-11-02T17:04:00.003-05:00

I got into Ironman Florida.
Holy crap.

Now what?

Best quote ever:
"Well you were saying you wished you were still training so you could eat more. Problem solved!"
Thanks R.

Cancer survival and exercise

2008-11-01T13:12:00.002-04:00

I read about this in my Lifetime Fitness magazine instead of working out this morning, I'm allowed I gave blood Thursday, and I thought it was really cool.

I love when people give adversity the middle finger.

http://www.survivorstraining.org/

Survivors' Training™ is a non-profit organization incorporated in the State of Minnesota. Its affairs are governed by a top-notch Board of Directors whose expertise includes health communication, health care policy, oncology social work, and medical research on the benefits of exercise for cancer survivors. Survivors' Training™ is a member ofthe Minnesota Cancer Alliance. Read more about what the Alliance is doing to advance the Minnesota Cancer Plan here.

Who we are
Daughter, mother, wife, college professor: To this list of roles, Wendy added breast cancer survivor in 2006. Diagnosed with Stage I invasive ductal cancer and lobular carcinoma in situ, she underwent a bilateral mastectomy in November and began the process of reconstruction. While recovering from her surgery, she spent a lot of time reading medical journals and discovered the exciting new research on the benefits of exercise. To help her deal with the physical and psychological effects of her diagnosis and to improve the chances of surviving her cancer, she hired a personal trainer. But she realized that many cancer survivors were not in her fortunate situation. Possessing neither the knowledge about the effects of physical activity nor the means to pay for a supervised training program, many women were not receiving the post-treatment care they needed to improve their well-being, physical function, and their odds of surviving cancer. Wendy started Survivors' Training™ to close the gap between the research findings and everyday reality for women living with a cancer diagnosis.
Her blog: http://survivorstraining.blogspot.com/

Our Mission
The mission of Survivors' Training is to raise awareness of the importance of exercise for cancer survivorship and to promote regular physical activity as an essential therapy for those diagnosed with cancer.

Our Activities
Educating cancer survivors and their caregivers, healthcare professionals, and the general public about the importance of regular physical activity for the health, well-being, and longevity of cancer survivors. Facilitating physical activity through the development and provision of low-cost fitness training options to cancer survivors. Our one-of-a-kind fitness studio in White Bear Lake, MN, is our signature program. Advocating for the reimbursement of cancer survivorship fitness programs with policy makers and health insurers.

8 Halloween costumes for cyclists

2008-10-31T15:45:00.002-04:00

I am not clever enough to write this. Copied from someone else who posted without attribution. If you know who wrote it I'll happily give credit.

As a cyclist, you are much, much better equipped for Halloween than the average person. Why? Because you already wear outrageous costumes on a daily basis. Think about it. Even though you are a (presumably) sane adult, you wear a shirt that would look much more at home on a superhero. You wear shorts that are much, much too tight, as if you were on your way to lead a jazzercize class. You wear a hat that belongs on an alien. And, to top the whole look off, you wear what sound and look like tap-dancing shoes...
By spending just a few extra minutes, you can alter your cycling outfit for the evening, making it so you're not just "a cyclist" at the party, but a very particular sort of cyclist. Simply follow these easy instructions.

Doping Cyclist: Dress up in full pro kit. Use a marker to draw needle tracks up and down one arm. Tie a length of surgical tubing above one elbow and leave a syringe sticking out of your vein. Wheel around an IV tower for the duration of the party. Stuff your jersey pockets with bottles of drugs. When anyone asks what / who you are, respond that you are a professional cyclist. When they ask what all the needles and drugs are for, say you have no idea what they're talking about. No matter what, do not admit you have any drug-related items on hand.

Mountain Biker (If You're normally a Roadie): Prepare for the party by gaining 10 lbs and getting 20-30 tattoos. Wear baggy pants -- baggy enough that they keep falling down. Arrive drunk at the party and continue to drink once you get there. Insist you have mad skillz.

Roadie (If You're normally a Mountain Biker): Prepare for the party by putting a stick in your butt. Wear uncomfortably tight cycling clothes for the party, drink nothing but thrice-filtered water and tell everyone exactly how many calories and fat everything they're eating contains.

Triathlete: Don't come to the party, because you've only done four workouts today and still need to get in one more and you don't want to break training, no matter what.

Recumbent Rider: Tape your glasses together, somehow manage to affix a pocket protector to your jersey, and loudly and insistently explain to all and sundry that recumbents are really much more comfortable and practical than "wedge" bikes. Talk a lot about prostates.

Recreational Cyclist: Wear street clothes with your right pant leg cuff completely greasy and shredded. Wear a bike helmet backwards and *censored*ed to one side. Tell people that you're starting to bike again to get back in shape.

Commuter: Wear street clothes, but carry a backpack or messenger bag full of what are clearly stinky bike clothes the entire evening. Make your helmet hair extremely obvious. Keep looking for opportunities to casually introduce the fact that you are a bike commuter into every single conversation in which you participate.

Fixie / Track Cyclist: Dress the same as a road cyclist, but you must always either keep walking or -- if you must stay in one place -- you must trackstand by moving a couple inches forward, then back, then forward and back again.

See? Easy, effective, and totally transformational. Nobody will recognize you. Better start preparing that "Best Costume" acceptance speech now.

Skeleton Crew

2008-10-27T14:38:00.004-04:00

I'm done with slacking off and eating SF chocolate ship cookies. Mostly.

In order to prep for the annual Holiday rowing challenge, I'm doing Concept 2's Halloween challenge.

The rules:

In honor of Halloween, we invite you to participate in the Skeleton Crew Challenge... it's a great way to earn all that Halloween candy!
Row at least 31,000 meters between October 25 and October 31.
This is an individual challenge. (You do not need to belong to a team to participate.)
Meters can be done all in one sitting or as several workouts.
Meters must be entered online.
Only indoor rower meters count (no water meters please).
All those who row 31,000 meters will be listed on our Skeleton Crew Honor Board. In addition, once you've completed the challenge you'll be able to download your specially-designed Skeleton Crew certificate and iron-on transfer and shop for Skeleton Crew goodies at cafepress.com.

I couldn't care less about Halloween candy since I can't eat it anyways, but anything that allows me to have another Panera Pink Ribbon bagel is good.

Saturday, after a mild case of food poisoning, I went to the gym and made it through 3K before my stomach revolted. So I'm about 10% done. Yesterday I just walked in the park in an effort to not re-injure the shoulders. Today I'm still stiff but will try to put another dent in the 31K. And in my weight for that matter.

Somewhere a Nike marketing executive is being fired.

2008-10-21T15:29:00.003-04:00

What a colossal F-up.
You run a race under the guise of empowering women, an everyday woman wins the race and you refuse to award her the first prize because she didn't register as elite?
A race where you could run in your own backyard and still be a part of the race so you could reach out to regular women.

Great job. You had the next best thing to Subway's Jared. A marketing boon. Manna from heaven and you completely dropped the ball Nike.

You, a company named after the goddess of victory, refused to give the rightful winner first prize. Not only did you give up possibly the best marketing opportunity short of the super bowl, you handled it so badly people are actually pissed at you.

Oh and to the argument that it wouldn't be fair to the elites? BS. Start everyone together then. And if they would have run faster if they knew they had competition, BS to that too. Really? You could have run 11 minutes faster? Right. And if you could have run faster, you should have run faster. It's your job. Not to mention, respect the race and leave it all out on the course.

And please explain to me how someone who doesn't have a pro card should have signed up as an elite. That's what I thought.

Guess which shoes I won't be buying and which race I won't be running.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/10/20/BAUC13L3GQ.DTL
http://dailyviews.runnersworld.com/

Update!
Apparently someone is awake over there. No word on whether she'll score prize money too, but it's a step in the right direction.
Nike is back off my Christmas List, we'll talk about the sweatshop thing another day.

From Runner's World:
* The San Francisco Chronicle's editorial page calls for Nike to "Award the real winner."*

It's official: Nike has dubbed O'Connell "a winner." Here's the official statement...Nike is announcing today that it recognizes Arien O'Connell as a winner in last weekend’s Nike Women’s Marathon completing the full race in 2:55:11. She shattered her previous time and achieved an amazing accomplishment.Arien will receive the same recognition and prize, including a Tiffany & Co. trophy, the full marathon elite group winner received. Arien was unfortunately not immediately recognized as a race winner because she did not start the race with the elite running group, which is required by USATF standards. Because of their earlier start time, the runners in the elite group had no knowledge of the outstanding race Arien was running and could not adjust their strategies accordingly. Learning from the unique experience in this year’s race, Nike has decided today to eliminate the elite running group from future Nike Women's Marathons. Next year, all runners will run in the same group and all will be eligible to win. Nike has a proven track record of supporting athletes and we’re proud to be able to honor Arien and other athletes who surpass their goals and achieve great accomplishments.

Want to Get Away?

2008-10-20T15:56:00.004-04:00

So I've had a persistent cold for like 3 weeks on and off now. I haven't done much other than the elliptical. Not too exciting or worth blogging about. Wheezing and gasping, not so interesting.

So today I got an email about a sale on Zipp wheels, which I sent out to all the training groups. Unfortunately including the XXXX bike shop group. Needless to say, they didn't appreciate that. DOH! Will not be sending any emails until the filter is back in place.

Clearly I need to use this:
http://gmailblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/new-in-labs-stop-sending-mail-you-later.html

Feel free to entertain me with your own stories of stupendous BTK errors. Although I feel like I might be alone in being this stupid.

Mountain Bike One?

2008-10-15T18:46:00.002-04:00

OMG where to begin:
Good thing they aren't say, working on the economy.

Also, the Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility says mountain bikers are communists who eat babies.

Bush to help open national parks to mountain bikes
Rule change will allow decisions about trails to be made by park managers

The Associated Press
updated 2:56 p.m. ET, Tues., Oct. 14, 2008

WASHINGTON - The Bush administration plans to make it easier for mountain bikers to gain access to national parks and other public lands before the president — an avid cyclist himself — leaves office.
The National Park Service confirmed Tuesday that it is preparing a rule that will allow decisions about some mountain bike trails to be made by park managers instead of federal regulators in Washington, a process that can take years.
A park service spokesman said the rule would be proposed no later than Nov. 15 so it could be final before Bush leaves office. If adopted, the proposal would likely result in more mountain biking opportunities on public lands.
Currently, the Park Service has to adopt a special regulation to open up trails to mountain bikes, which requires the public to be formally notified. The same process is required for all-terrain vehicles and other motorized recreation on park lands.
“We are trying to give superintendents a little bit of latitude especially for non-controversial proposals for bicycling in parks,” said Jeffrey Olson, a spokesman for the service. “We are responding to public demand.”
Environmental advocate Jeff Ruch called the rule a lame-duck gift for the mountain biking lobby from the “Mountain-Biker-in-Chief,” referring to Bush.
Ruch, executive director of the Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility, said the proposal would open up backcountry trails to mountain bikers. Mountain bikers are blamed for erosion of trails and trampling native plants. They also disturb other park users, such as hikers, birders and horseback riders.
During his tenure as president, Bush has embraced mountain biking as a low-impact alternative to running, which is hard on his knees. The president — who has a blue and white Trek bicycle dubbed Mountain Bike One — often rides on his ranch in Crawford, Tex. and in the Washington, D.C. area. He also has received several mountain bikes from companies like Cannondale and Trek.
The International Mountain Biking Association, which is supported by some of the same companies that gave Bush bikes, said Tuesday it didn’t believe the timing of the rule had anything to do with the president’s penchant for pedaling.
“It is extraneous to this (rule) that the president has interest in mountain biking. I don’t think that has been an influencer in this case,” said Mark Eller, communications director for the group, which has been lobbying to change the rules since the early 1990s.
About 30 properties managed by the National Park Service include trails approved for mountain bikes now, he said.
A calendar for Lyle Laverty, the Interior Department’s Assistant Secretary for Fish, Wildlife and Parks also shows that the mountain bike rule is one the administration’s remaining priorities.
In April 2006, after a 65-minute ride through Napa County wine country on Earth Day, the president told an AP reporter: “We’re able to enjoy the beauty without really disrupting pristine nature of the place. It’s a classic way for mankind to enjoy God’s gift.”

© 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
URL: http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/27183753/wid/18298287/?GT1=45002
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© 2008 NBCSports.com

Totally could have used this for Savageman

2008-10-03T11:54:00.002-04:00

http://www.lowcarboneconomy.com/community_content/_low_carbon_news/2304

Zero-emissions hybrid bike developed

01 October 2008

A zero-emissions hybrid vehicle that uses solar power and pedal power has been designed.

The Cycle Sol is a bicycle which has a canopy lined with solar cells, which collect energy to add extra power to the spinning of the wheels. A battery collects the solar energy which is then used to power a motor in the back wheel, speeding the bike along at 15mph with minimal effort and reducing the strain on the rider on uphill sections of their journey.

The bright yellow bicycle, brought to the concept stage by London-based designer Miroslav Milijevic, can also be connected to a mains supply so that the motor can assist the rider even when the sun has not been out. Mr Milijevic told the Times: "It is just like an electric bike but the motor runs on a battery powered by solar energy. You can leave it outside the office during the day to top up the rechargeable, ready for the ride home. These days solar cells are pretty good at picking up the lowest amount of light so it should still work when the skies are cloudy." Given the recent announcement that the most efficient solar cell yet has been developed, the future could see the bicycle's performance improve.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/environment/article4828287.ece

Slacking and vote

2008-10-02T17:22:00.004-04:00

I have been slacking off so hard since Savageman.

On one hand I want to get out and enjoy the fall weather, on the other I am so ready for this season to be over. So ready. Ready to sit at home, eat sugar free brownies, watch football, and knit.

Only problem: I have at least one more tri on the schedule.

Well two problems, that and that nesting/slacking means I'm gaining a little weight. Unacceptable.

Wednesday, I rolled my arse out of bed at O'Dark Thirty to Meet Trainer Blaine since I have Giant Acorn hanging over my head. I should have ran 3 miles. Instead I did 30 minutes on the elliptical.

Stupid leaf mold is making it hard to breathe. As well as idiot roommates who don't comprehend that the dehumidifier prevents the whole house from getting icky moldy.

Anyways, Wednesday was also Doomsday at work. All hell breaking loose. I controlled my mounting panic by scheduling out my training for the next few months. It's oddly comforting. I love lists, spreadsheets, and the comfort of grids and boxes.

What do I do with the rest of the month? Do I race Giant Acorn even though I'm going to the Caps game the night before and haven't gotten my bike checked out since Savageman?

Do I race Brierman?

I already faced the reality that I was not prepared for the Baltimore half and deferred to next year.

Do I do winter conditioning for crew or let my shoulder heal for the next six months?

Vote now!

Friends don't let friends drink and make race plans.

2008-09-23T15:00:00.008-04:00

Saturday I trekked up to Deep Creek Maryland to participate in a relay for the OLY distance Savageman.

Savageman is a race where you can't fake the training. It's intense. But I was going to try anyways.

So this all started with a Happy Hour in Georgetown. Over pizza Supersnail and I talked about doing a relay with me swimming , tri friend N biking, and SS running.

N ended up having to bail. Later I got an email from J asking if I would want to relay with them as the biker. Ummmm, no? Somehow it came out as yes, and brainstorming of obnoxious team names ensued.

Options we didn't go with:
Three Slick Chicks
Cold, Hard Bitches
Chicks with Attitudes
Back Off, We're Triathletes
Hard, Harder, Hardest
Bitches on a Mission
Black and white and sore all over
Legs, boobs, and booty
Something for everyone
Ridden hard and put away wet
We'll tri anything once

What we went with was: 3 legs and 6 boobs

(It's a grenade joke)

Since the OTP crowd has some truly awesome people in it, I got to just go along for the ride as everyone else planned the stay and the food. Sandy was Queen Bee and Master Organizer, and Ryan was the Iron Chef. Seriously dude, marry me.

A little about the course:
Savageman is The. Hardest. Course. Period.

The swim:

I have never been so happy not to have to swim in my life. The lake was covered in fog, it was freezing, and the first few finishers were actually DQ'ed because of a mix-up with the buoy colors (allegedly yellow for the OLY, orange for the HIM), and because they couldn't see anything.

The bike:

Sigh. We drove the bike course the day before. Someone said not to worry because it always seems harder in the car. Challenge. The pre-race briefing included telling us that aerobars were verboten because the descent were technical and they didn't want you screaming to your death. And several warnings about where to shift down, and where to be prepared to hold on for dear life.

On one hand I was glad we saw the course, so I knew where I was later. On the other, it really made me so much more nervous.

I was trying to rationalize that it was only five miles longer than the bike at IronGirl and I wasn't swimming or running, so I could handle it, right?

Let's just say I ended up wheels up 3 times. Stupid chain.

The run:
Crazy, crazy hilly. The HIM took racers past the finish line 3 times. That is just cruel. And more than a few people turned down the finish chute by accident.

SS did a great job despite the heat and hills, and J and I got to run in with her.

They actually refused to announce our team name since it's a family show ...

Post race:
S gave me a ride back to the house and made popcorn, and I got a shower in before the boys came home.
No vacation time meant a long drive home late with a slight detour. I still need to take my wheels to get trued.

Pearls of Wisdom

2008-09-11T15:13:00.002-04:00

Guess what happens when you are prone to kidney stones, you race a hot horrible race and get dehydrated, and you drink the race course beverage which has in one bottle 300% of your RDA of vitamin C?

If you answered you get a kidney stone, give yourself one point.
If you answered you get a kidney stone while trapped in DC at a mandatory meeting, give yourself two points.
If you answered you get a kidney stone while trapped in DC at a mandatory meeting while giving a presentation and feeling like you will either pass out or throw up in front of a co-worker and two rival companies, give yourself three points.

Seriously, they should come with an alarm bell.

Luckily I've been through this before, so armed with a bridge prescription and painkillers I spent the afternoon in my pajamas wishing for death, and hoping to goodness that the rain would not mean evacuation again.

Now comes the question:
My beloved doctor who is also a runner, wants me to take Levaquin to protect the kidney from an infection. However, Levaquin has been linked to tendon rupture. And my bicep tendon is inflamed like 40% of the time now, and I have some pretty serious events coming up.

Do I shut my pie hole and take the Levaquin, or do I take the B team drug and wait and see if I get sick?

We. Are. Dead. And. This. Is. HELL!

2008-09-02T17:12:00.004-04:00

Soooo, yeah. Rock N Roll was a bad day.

88 degrees. 85% humidity.

Everyone looked beaten. The spectators, the volunteers, the runners. All melting like a cheap bike bottle on the bottom rack of the dishwasher.

You know you've had a bad race when:

1. You finish a full hour after your goal time.

2. Your shoes look like Brian Sells'. http://dailyviews.runnersworld.com/2008/08/brian-sells-adv.html

3. You aren't sure you can even walk to the finish.

4. You cannot identify a single location in your body that doesn't hurt.

5. You're glad you lost your timing "chip" since it's means this travesty is only further on it's way to being forgotten.

The only thing that kept me from bailing was that there were a ton of cancer survivors there, and if they can finish, I had no reason not to.

They finished ahead of me, by the way.

Perhaps attempting a half marathon the week after Iron Girl was not a good plan ...

Nor was continuing to race even after repeatedly getting sick.

It's a steep learning curve.

I love fall!

2008-08-29T10:51:00.004-04:00

I just read this article in Runner's World and I couldn't agree more. This is exactly how I feel. Although I prefer UnderArmour gloves. And I need more gear like I need a hole in the head.

Incidentally, I also agree with his views on pancakes.
http://dailyviews.runnersworld.com/2008/08/theres-a-chill.html

Don't get me wrong, I love the baking heat of summer, but FALL!

Football games, cool crisp runs, leaves crunching on the trail, head races, apple cider, wine tasting, tailgating, joy!

Cool enough to wear snuggly pajamas, bake cookies, eat oatmeal for breakfast, and cover all that goodness up with a sweater or run it off and not get sweaty fall!

Halloweeen! Dressing up as Silk Spectre or Wonder Woman, Thanksgiving, Fantasy Football leagues, back to school super fun fall!

IronGirl and a rusty shoulder

2008-08-19T16:56:00.003-04:00

Thursday night. My shoulder hurts so bad it's shooting hot bolts of lightning down my arm. One of these days I will have a heart attack and think it's just my shoulder. Icing it not helping. Can't sleep. Take 3 Vicodin on an empty stomach. Finally get to sleep.
Wake up Friday, yak a few times. Pain comes back, take more vicodin. Stay home from work.

I don't know if the return of the pain is from the increase in swim volume (minimal) or thanks to the weather shift (probable). The weather here has turned and you can feel the wistfulness of fall in the air.

I decided not to go home, and go to the IronGirl practice since I had to either pick up my uniform or race naked next week.
Turns out it would be about the same. The shorts are a bit shorter than I would ever choose to wear in public. And it will be a miracle if the zipper in the top survives.

The group was doing a brick of the 18 mile bike course and the 3.4 mile run course. I made it through the bike course, with a slight detour adding yet another hill and a little more mileage.
Waited for B to finish so I could give her a bike bottle since she didn't have one. I have an entire huge storage thing of them plus like another 30 of the ubiquitous Gatorade waterbottles, so I was fine letting one go. Even if I was a little sentimental about the NJ State one. She'll give it a good home.

Later I met J at the pool to swim a few laps and be lazy. Right around dinner I realized I had tried to fuel two workouts on a latte, a croissant, and spanakopita. That was right about when I got the world's worst headache that would not go away. I so hate gym hangovers.

Sunday I slept in instead of doing my long run or North East. And spent the whole Nats game in search of salt, I mean a curly "W" pretzel. Ate an obscene amount of bread at Macaroni Grill trying to stuff the hole I dug myself into on Saturday.

Hellllllo Bella!

2008-08-14T16:24:00.005-04:00

Velo Bella is an all-women's cycling team. The Mid-Atlantic Bellas are geographically dispersed throughout the region, from Pennsylvania down to North Carolina.

For 2009 Nikki of fellow blogging fame is making a push to grow the DC-region team. Why? Velo Bella is about to announce that for 2009 we are going to have an official Triathlon Team! Kona Bikes is working with us to develop a prototype timetrial bike, made exclusively for Velo Bella racers, and we are looking to field an elite/professional team, focused on the Olympic distance. (for a sneak peak at the TT bike: http://www.velobellabb.com/forum26/1695.html, but it will be blue, not white).

So, what is Velo Bella? Well, besides having the absolute BEST kits in the country, our mission is to encourage a healthy and active lifestyle through cycling and laughter. We inspire women to get out and ride a bike, race a bike, and to eventually grow the pool of talent and have a lot of fun along the way.

Not everyone is a racer....we have recreational riders, the racing team, and the pro/elite racing team.

How much does Velo Bella cost? Here's the best part......it's FREE!!!!! Okay, there is some fine print.....

--To be a "recreational" Velo Bella, there is no fee, and no requirement to purchase anything.

--To be an "amateur racer" or "pro/elite" racer, you are required to buy 1 jersey each year (~$65). BUT, you get access to great discounts to a ton of sponsors (such as Kona Bikes, Zeal Optics, FSA, SRAM, Patagonia clothing, Crank Brothers, Sidi, Cateye, Giro). As a racer you can get deep, deep discounts, sometimes over 50% off.

What does it mean to be a Mid-Atlantic Velo Bella? Well, this is the best part. We can make it whatever we want the team to be! Maybe that means a weekly group ride, maybe it means a monthy team dinner, maybe just coordinating races together, or supporting each other across disciplines (we have roadies, tri-gals, MTB and cyclo-crossers here).......it's up to us all to decide!

Please take a few moments to check out our website and forum blogs, and stay tuned for a Happy Hour in the next few weeks (we're targeting Sept 4th or 5th).

I hope you consider riding with Team Velo Bella!

http://www.velobella.org/ or http://www.velobellabb.com/

Cancer to 5K Version 3.1

2008-08-13T17:25:00.002-04:00

Cindy and Jess, third time is the charm!

I've volunteered with the previous two cycles, and I can vouch for the fact that this is a great program.
Please consider volunteering as a sherpa or passing along to anyyoung adult cancer survivors you know.

We are proud to announce that the Fall 2008 CANCER to 5K training program will begin on Saturday, September 6, 2008. The program will end on Thursday, November 27, with Runner and Volunteers running inthe VA Run Turkey Trot 5k in Centreville, VA at 8AM.

The CANCER to 5K Training Program is a free 12-week training program designed to introduce and/or reintroduce cancer survivors to physical activity by providing them with the training program, coaches, encouragemnt, and support necessary to complete a 5K (3.1 miles) distance road race.
The program is FREE to cancer survivors, ages 18-40,(and beyond as room allows) and includes:
- 12 week training program
- Registration into a local 5K distance race
- 2 weekly group training sessions with a coach for 12 weeks(1 weekday evening, 1 weekend morning)
- CANCER to 5K ™ technical T-shirt & water bottle
- CANCER to 5K ™ Program Certificate of Completion
- CANCER to 5K Race Day Sherpa ™ to run with you on your big day(if you want one...)
- CANCER to 5K ™ Official Finishers Medal (upon completion of an official 5K distance race)
Registration is open through Tuesday September 16 (beginning of Week 2 of Training) so make sure you get ONLINE and REGISTER NOW!
http://cancerto5k.com/

GOT QUESTIONS?
INTERESTED IN VOLUNTEERING? Check out the website and learn how you can help!
Life is Good! LiveSTRONG!
- Holly

http://cancerto5k.com/
"Young Adult Cancer Survivors giving new meaning to the wordENDURANCE...One Mile at a Time!"

Just Peachy

2008-08-12T14:05:00.006-04:00

This past week I had the brilliant idea of despite being sick for like 2 weeks straight, to tackle the hilliest bike course like ever. And since misery loves company, I sent out a call to tons of cool tri people.

Well, D doesn't like to bike in groups, a bunch of people were doing the training tri, some were up in Deep Creek tackling their own nightmare bike course, R didn't have a car, so it just ended up being me and Tamara.

My thought process had gone something like this: The Eat a Peach bike is hilly, but supposedly do-able. We would do the 33 mile route which would justify the 3 hour round trip drive. It would be fun, there would be pie, I would get to touch a jello brain, it would prepare me for the IronGirl bike course, and it supported a good cause- essentially traumatic brain injuries. I would come home and shower and nap before my swim lesson. I would be tired, but in a good way, I would not eat pizza, and the world would be full of sunshine and lollipops.

What actually happened:
I woke up late. Rushed out the door. Did not realize it was really cold for an August morning. Just wearing my tri top and bike shorts, brrrrr.

Get call from Tamara, she gives me a heads up on some of the directions. She got there early, I am running late. She graciously waits for me.

Tamara also mentions what I am starting to notice. It is extremely hilly, not "rolling" hills. We discuss our wuss out options. Settle on riding the 12 mile course, and we can always ride it again if we feel we didn't get a work out.

I get there, we register, I get my bike checked out.

Here's where it gets interesting:
My chain is skipping gears, which was causing the baseball card in the spokes sound I heard at NJ.
The lovely bike people tighten some things up so I can make it through the day. Turns out it was quite tight. Took some getting used to. Especially up the first hill.

We take off, and holy cow. My spirit was almost immediately broken. I finally get the gears sorted out and have a better time of it. We pass donkeys, and a cow that moos at us, and roosters.

Then we get to the real hills. Tamara who had been doing the Conte's hill rides was in much better shape than I was. I had to get out of the saddle a few times, and I admit I totally walked part of it. Tamra was a rockstar, biked the whole thing, and even waited for me at the end of it.

You should not be able to go 35mph on your bike. All I could think was "If you hit your brakes, you'll flip your handlebars, don't touch your brakes. This is so not how I intended to die".

Thank you Cliff Shots for making margarita flavored products.

We decided after one particularly spirit breaking hill that one loop was enough, it being the longest 12 miles of my life.

We wandered throught he farmer's market, I got some specialty honey for friends, Tamara got corn for later.

I stopped at a gas station on the way back that was selling biodiesel!
Across the four lane road were a couple stranded cyclists. I waved and motioned did they need a pump (picture jack hammering pantomime here) or a tube (drawing a big hula hoop in the air)? They drew a hula hoop back so I grabbed a tube out of my bike bag and gave it one of the girls who red rovered across the highway. I think they were okay in the end and I got in my good deed for the day.

Later that day in another fit of genius, I scheduled my swim lesson with Coach Alan. We talked about the possibility of doing Sandman. I haven't brought up the whole Ironman thing yet, not sure how to broach that without sounding insane.

A rose by any other name

2008-08-02T23:56:00.002-04:00

I got majorly sick after NJ, so this week was just a bike ride and a swim, nothing of note. I did get a throat infection so bad the nurse took a step back and said "Whoa!" when she went to swab me for the strep culture.

So using my evil powers of persuasion, and thanks to Holly's race report extolling the fun to be had at Muddy Buddy I have successfully suckered Jess into doing Muddy Buddy with me next year.
Much like IM is all about the tattoo (sarcasm), Muddy Buddy is all about the offensive names and funny costumes.
A little background, Jess is a fellow Team Z'er who is recovering from breast cancer. We really got together thanks to Holly's Cancer to 5K program. This time Jess will actually finish that program, provided she doesn't sacrifice any more ankles. Really the most accident prone people ever.

So knowing that, here are potential (offensive) team names:

Team Real and Fake
Don't you wish that you had Jessie's girls
Saving Second Base and Sliding into Home
Team All the Same in the Dark (goes with the real or fake)

And the more PG:
Team Hills and Veil
Bosom Muddy Buddies

I know there must be other names which would be funnier and could make for a good costume, so I open it up to you all. This is public though, so don't write anything you wouldn't want your mother to read.

NJ Tri Death

2008-07-29T11:37:00.006-04:00

Someone died during the swim on Sunday and I thought it deserved it's own post rather than being lumped in with my race report.

Okay first of all Holy cow! How did this happen? There were a ton of kayakers on the course, and it was an easy, simple swim course.

Things that are really disconcerting:
This poor guy was a newbie, as were a LOT of people at this race. Kind of scary, this could have been one of ours.

They were looking for the body while we were all there for the awards ceremony and no one knew. Great job by the Race Directors.

Condolences go out to the family, that must have been horrifying to find the body that way.

I'll post more information as it is released.

Article 1:

http://www.nj.com/news/times/index.ssf?/base/news-4/1217218077180870.xml&coll=5

Triathlete disappears in lake
Rescuers unable to find body of W. Windsor man

Monday, July 28, 2008
BY ALEX ZDANWEST WINDSOR --

A township man who was participating in the New Jersey State Triathlon at Mercer County Park yesterday is missing and presumed drowned after failing to finish a swim of Mercer Lake. Fire, emergency medical services and county boats searched the lake yesterday afternoon but could not find a body. Police have said the man was 52 years old but are withholding his name pending notification of his family. The man was reported missing by his fiancée just before 11:30 a.m., when she became concerned that she could not find him. Police said the man and the fiancée had talked around 7 a.m., when he called her to say he was at the park and getting ready for the race. She then left for the park to cheer him on. Police said the man, along with about 1,100 fellow racers, was participating in the sprint course, which involved a 0.31-mile swim, followed by an 11-mile bike ride and finally by a 3.1-mile run. More than 1,300 others raced the longer course. About 10,000 spectators were on hand. The 1,100 racers on the shorter course entered the lake in 10 separate groups to prevent overcrowding. The missing man was wearing an athletic tracking device issued by race operators and designed to monitor the time he entered and left the lake. The tracker noted he went into the water at 7:53 a.m. but did not have a time for his departure. The device could not be used to find his exact location. "That was my first question," West Windsor Police Chief Joe Pica said. "Apparently, it's not that easy." According to Pica, the tracker operates much like the security system in a store, where passage between two monitors activates it. Lt. Carl Walsh said it was possible, but not probable, that the man could have slipped out of the lake without being seen or reactivating his tracker. The course, following a diagonal trail from a sandy beach, then across the breadth of the lake to an exit at the marina, was monitored by 25 lifeguards stationed in the water in kayaks. Two EMS boats and two county park boats also policed the activities. Those same county boats were called back into action later in the day as the search for the man began. Police said the fiancée first approached a race official, who in turn notified police. The man's bike, cell phone, shoes, and other effects were found in the bike transition area set up in the marina's parking lot. Emergency personnel were contacted, both from West Windsor and from Trenton, where divers from the water rescue unit were sent to the scene. They began a search of the lake that was hampered by severe weather conditions, with operations suspended for an hour during a violent thunderstorm that began around 2 p.m. That weather, police said, interfered even after the lightning and thunder had passed. The water was relatively rough, and silt had been churned up from the bottom making it more difficult for rescue personnel to see. Mercer County spokeswoman Julie Willmot, who was monitoring the teams' progress from shore, said visibility in the water was down to 2 feet. The lake's deepest point is only about 15 feet down, Willmot said. The five boats on the lake were using a combination of technology, muscle power and human senses in the attempt to find the missing man. Basic sonar equipment was used to scan the lakebed, and several emergency workers wielded long poles used to feel around for anything underwater. All eyes on the boats were gazing at the silvery surface of the lake, which was peppered by raindrops, as a small one-man craft from West Windsor EMS slowly cruised along the shoreline. The difficult conditions, officials said, contributed to the search being called off as of 5 p.m. The boats returned to their staging area at the boathouse across the lake. Operations are scheduled to resume at 8 a.m. today, with police saying a more advanced sonar system will be employed. West Windsor police, fire and EMS will be on the water, and Trenton's dive team will return as well. The lake will be closed, but the park will remain open. Pica said that if efforts to find the man's body are unsuccessful today, other agencies, including the State Police, will be contacted for additional assistance. Willmot said Mercer Executive Brian Hughes has spent the evening on the phone with State Police Superintendent Col. Rick Fuentes and Mercer Sheriff Kevin Larkin attempting to garner state assistance. Willmot said Hughes, who was on hand yesterday morning to kick off the race, has faith in West Windsor authorities but wants all resources to be at the ready. Yesterday's race was operated by the county in conjunction with CGI Racing, which also operates the Northeast Maryland Triathlon, Philadelphia Women's Triathlon and Black Bear Triathlon in the Pocono Mountains. A CGI representative at the scene declined comment. Police said the triathlon, now in its third year, was fully approved by authorities. "It's very well-planned out and extremely well-organized," Walsh said. "Everyone who needs to be notified of the event was notified."
©2008 Times of Trenton
© 2008 NJ.com All Rights Reserved.

Article 2:

07/28/2008
Family finds missing triathlete
By: Andria Y. Carter , Online Editor

Triathlete John Hobgood of West Windsor was recorded as going into Mercer Lake for the one-third-mile swim, but never recorded having emerged from the 85-degree water.

WEST WINDSOR -
The Mercer County Medical Examiner is conducting an autopsy on a missing triathlete John Hobgood whose body was discovered about 1 a.m. today by family members.The Hobgood family was conducting a late night vigil at Mercer Lake when the body was discovered.The 52-year-old township man went missing on Sunday during the 500 meter swim sprint event of the New Jersey State Triathlon. The amateur sporting event had about 410 people in the water when Mr. Hobgood went missing, said Lt. Pat McCormick with the West Windsor Police Department.AdvertisementMcCormick said extreme precautions had been taken for the event with 24 lifeguards station on the lake in kayaks and four patrol boats with two EMS personnel."A lot of precautions were in place to make sure the triathletes were okay," McCormick said.Hobgood's finacee notified event officials about 11:30 a.m. that he failed to emerge from the swim event. He had been registered to also participate in the 5k run and 11 mile bike ride. Officials suspended the search for Hobgood's body when weather and darkness. The search was to resume this today about 8 a.m. The initial search turned from rescue to recovery when emergency personnel determined that Hobgood had not gotten out of the water when they found his bicycle in take for the next event and his parked car.Family members extremely upset that Mr. Hobgood had not been found decided to hold a vigil for the missing triathlete and noticed something that appeared to be a body in the water, McCormick said.The family members called township police right away and upon arrival determined it was a body and had it removed and taken to the coroner's office, McCormick added.Results of Hobgood's autopsy should be known within a couple days, he said.John Hobgood was a lifelong New Jersey resident who worked for National City Mortgage and helped customers with loans in Mercer and Somerset counties.

http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=19874900&BRD=1697&PAG=461&dept_id=44551&rfi=6

Lakeside vigil ends in sadness
Friends recover the body of drowned triathlete
Page 3 of 1
WEST WINDSOR -- The tragic moment when novice triathlete John W. Hobgood drowned beneath Lake Mercer Sunday morning slipped unnoticed by the thousands of people who had gathered at Mercer County Park for the New Jersey State Triathlon.
When Hobgood's body finally resurfaced on the lake in the still of night more than 15 hours later, almost no one was around.
Almost.
The crowds were long gone, the park closed until daybreak yesterday. And the search of the lake for the missing 52-year-old from Princeton Junction had been suspended Sunday afternoon until the following morning.
But authorities let two of Hobgood's close friends -- Charles Voigt and Colleen Dunne -- keep a lonely lakeside vigil for him into the wee hours, just in case.
"We just didn't want him to be alone," said Dunne, who lives in Princeton Borough.
Carol Stasko, Hobgood's fiancee, wanted desperately to keep vigil at the lake, too, but the couple's friends thought she would be better off trying to rest at home while waiting for the official search to resume in the morning.
So for almost three hours, Dunne and Voigt waited by the water's edge near Voigt's pickup truck, scanning the lake.
At times they prayed or spoke to Hobgood as though he were there to hear. They reported on the outcome of Sunday's baseball game between his beloved Yankees and the rival Red Sox.
Voigt at one point turned the truck's lights onto the water -- "not really to search, but just be cause we were there by ourselves," he said.
"We were all hoping for the best turnout ..." Voigt said, letting the sentence trail off unfinished. Then, a little before 1 a.m. yesterday, Voigt and Dunne spotted the body floating near the surface.
The red swimmer skullcap Hob good had been wearing was still on his head -- and the first thing to catch his friends' attention, said Voigt, who lives in Montgomery.
They said they immediately called 911 for West Windsor police.
Officers responded to the lake and police summoned the county Medical Examiner's Office. Person nel from the Medical Examiner's Office recovered Hobgood's body from the water at about 1:30 a.m., police said.
Preliminary autopsy results show the cause of death as accidental drowning, said Mercer County spokeswoman Julie Willmot.
There was no indication of trauma that might have suggested Hobgood collided with another swimmer before he died, authorities said.
Hobgood's relatives, friends and his fiancee said they are at a loss to explain what went wrong for the former longtime Lawrence resident and avid long-distance biker.
Although Stasko said Hobgood had not attempted a triathlon before Sunday, he was athletic and had been training for Sunday's event for three or four months simply as a personal challenge.
"He was in great shape and went into it wholehearted," Stasko said yesterday as friends and family gathered with her inside the Princeton Junction home she and Hobgood shared.
The couple's wedding was scheduled for Sept. 13.
Hobgood, a divorced father of two adult children who worked as a mortgage banker, didn't have any known medical problems and wasn't taking any medication, Stasko and their friends said.
A photo snapped at the park less than an hour before Hobgood entered the lake to start the 0.31-mile swim leg at 7:53 a.m. shows him smiling and looking relaxed alongside a cheerful Stasko, who was there with a group of their friends to root him on.
His fiancee and friends said they didn't hang around by the starting point because they were hoping to spot him coming out of the water for the 11-mile biking phase.
But none of them became alarmed right away when they didn't see Hobgood because there were so many swimmers coming out that they at first figured they just didn't notice their man.
Stasko reported Hobgood missing just before 11:30 a.m. after she became concerned that he still did not show up, authorities said.
Hobgood was participating in the seventh wave of the shorter, sprint course of the triathlon. Each wave consists of about 100 to 150 racers, according to CGI Racing, the firm that co-organized Sunday's triathlon in conjunction with Mercer County.
About 1,100 people competed in the sprint course, which wraps up with a 3.1-mile run, according to race organizers.
Hobgood's daughter, Ashley Carunchio, who lives in Delaware and works as a trauma nurse there, said she didn't have any real worries about her dad attempting a tri athlon -- although she did jokingly tell him that he was crazy to try it.
Carunchio recalled how her dad came to encourage her in rowing competitions at Lake Mercer when she attended The Hun School of Princeton.
She said he was a generous man who was very supportive of her and her brother, Bryan Hobgood, who is studying chemical engineering at Columbia University.
"He could be stubborn and difficult at times, but he always showed how proud he was of us," Carunchio said, her composure faltering.
Mercer County Executive Brian M. Hughes called Hobgood's death tragic for the family and community.
"My heart goes out to the family," Hughes said.

Staff writer Alex Zdan contributed to this report.
©2008 Times of Trenton
© 2008 NJ.com All Rights Reserved.

NJ Tri: Did the course get shorter, or did I get faster?

2008-07-28T15:05:00.006-04:00

This past weekend I trekked up to NJ to hang out with M and try my first real triathlon since the surgery.

Getting there:
Four painful hours including a stop at the most poorly staffed Starbucks ever. Seriously, what happened to Starbucks? They used to be the last bastion of good customer service, now they are barely able to communicate with you and the last three times I've been to one they've had to re-make my drink order multiple times. Glad I don't have stock in them.

Realized after I sat in traffic that I didn't actually want to get on the Jersey Turnpike. Oops.

Got to NJ just in time for the pre-race briefing, said hi to the DCTri folks, picked up my stuff which did NOT include a technical t-shirt as promised, grrrr.

Left and met up with M at his house for Princeton fun.

Why I love Princeton:
Princeton Running Company where they carry my favorite socks and have my Shot blocks in Margarita flavor.

Red, Green, Blue where you create designs in glass and they fire it for you. One of my favorite things to do. This time I was overflowing and Matt was stumped. So soon I will have a fruit bowl with an abstract turtle (I wanted to make a school of fish, then just one big fish, but it kept turning into a turtle, so I just let it be a turtle) and a plate with a bursting heart design. Woot!

Olives: Spanikopita, baklava, yum.

Driving back from the downtown I was reminded of a key point about Princeton: crazy deer population. A mama deer and three tiny fawns bounded uncertainly across the street in front of us. They truly were tiny deer. Not the awkward spindly weeble wobble fawns you usually see, but like teacup deer. Like they should go in one of those dog purses.
Anyways, I put that away to be mindful of when I was leaving at dawn the next day.

Saturday night was spent shoveling in cheese and bread from Whole Foods and watching Vantage Point (save your time, all action no point).

Went to bed early, set the alarm for 4:30. Transition opened at 5:30.

Sunday morning:
Slept until 5:30, oops!
M's mom and the puppy got up to wish me luck :)
Grabbed a banana hoping I'd be able to eat it, my stomach was a nervous tank of churning acid.
Didn't see or hit any deer, waited in line forever to get into the park, made it to transition in time to set up my area and get out.
Forced down the banana and a luna bar. Waited in another long line for the bathrooms. Tried to decide whether or not to throw up.

Walked down the painfully rocky path to the swim. I forgot to buy cheap flipflops to wear on the way down. Doh! Luckily didn't hurt my feet too bad, but I have some odd blisters.

Waited in huge cluster F to swim. At about this point I started thinking: 1. I am in over my head. 2. Why the F didn't I sign up for a relay? 3. I definitely should have thrown up.
I started praying to God, not to let me have a good time, or even to not embarrass myself, just please do not let me drown. Especially in an aqua tri top.

The race was definitely in Jersey, looking at you zebra print swim suit.
Also funny, several of the girls had put on their DC Tri temp tattoos as tramp stamps. Classic.

Okay the swim:
I am a notoriously bad swimmer. I once swam to the wrong pier at Lake Anna. Thank goodness for this course, it was idiot proof.
Tried to think about Coach Alan's advice, of just racing my own race and practicing drills on the swim. I had done a super sprint the week before and tanked on the swim, also digging a hole that I never recovered from on the bike and run.
So I thought about pulling myself past my arm rather than pulling the water, I thought about what the regattas on the lake must be like and to keep myself light on the water, kicking with a straight leg, and wow, I'm not the last person! Some girl from my group had clearly gotten into the water and panicked. She ended up holding onto a kayak. I got my back clawed up by some girl, brifely considered stripping her goggles, decided to let it go, a rare nice moment for me. Finally got to the end and stumbled up the ramp. I knew my HR was going to be pretty high, so took my time getting into transition. Stopped and told the EMS people there was a swimmer on the course they needed to watch out for. The girl never came in behind me, and I'm pretty damn slow. They shrugged it off and said there were plenty of kayakers out there. Grrr.

Transition: took forever. I swear I did not stop and take a nap.

Bike:
Went out and noticed a weird sound coming from my back tire, feels awfully squishy, did I flat already? See the Sag Truck and pull off. Very nice guy from Knapp's who must have thought I was an idiot pumped up both tires and pointed out that my rear derailleur was rubbing on my back tire. At some point either when I took my bike out of the car, or something happened to my bike in transition, either way that was the noise. Note to self, check gearing.

Well that made my bike a hell of a lot easier. I got passed some and passed some people. Ate a bag of shot blocks, yum. I even managed to take 10 minutes off my bike time.

Rolled in and started the run.

The Run:
Damn, it was hot. Pretty course and a lot of cheering, great aid stations. Walked a lot trying to keep my HR down. But thankfully it never got over 180. Traded places a lot with a 22 year old girl. This was her first tri, she came from a swimming background. Ran the last half mile in with her.

Hit the finish line and saw MIRA! Yayyyyyy!

Stuck around to cheer for the rest of the club. The OLY people had a really tough day, it was like a million degrees out when they were out on the course, just so. freaking. hot. I was SO happy I had bailed into the sprint.

Saw Jeanne of blogging fame come in, who says you aren't born to run!

Things I was thankful for:
Having a good swim. Slow by other people's standards, but good for me.
The Knapp's people for saving my arse on the bike, and magically being right there when I needed them.
The volunteers, especially Mira! Short of Jomomma, she was the person I most wanted to see at the finish line.
The club for staying to cheer EVERYONE on. Thank you for not bailing on the slow people.
Shot blocks for making such yummy food, and for being finally confident enough on the bike to eat them.
K for keeping me calm pre-swim.
M for letting me stay at his house.
M's mom for getting up to wish me luck and for calling me Wonder Woman all Sunday :)
CGI for putting on such an awesome race.
C for talking me down on Saturday and asking how it went on Sunday.
That I drove home later that day missing the wrath of God thunderstorms.
For having EZ Pass which works all along the Eastern Seaboard. Cash toll suckers!

Now all I need is someone to tell me not to sign up for North East what with it being a week before Iron Girl.

Post Secrets

2008-07-22T17:08:00.003-04:00

Last week the Runner's World Daily Views Blog had a post about shameful activity. Either on the trails and roads, or most often relating to food. Some of the comments were funny, some flat out disturbing. Most disturbing was the guy who said he likes to give blood because of the high he gets post donation running. Best quote: "What ever happened to vomitoriums? I think they were on to something there." Funny but kind of concerning. Not as disturbing as the actual Post Secrets blog, that stuff is seriously dark.

And if this is you, they even have a t-shirt for it:
"I'm using my marathon training to get some time away from my girlfriend. I mean, I luv her, but it's just sooooo hard to ask for a night alone at my place just httin the remote.I should talk to her but really hate fighting anyways. So every other night it's a: "aaaww, not tonight honey, it's just that I have this long run tomorrow"

Your t-shirt: http://www.gymskinz.com/store/index.cgi/trashtalk/gymskinz/1207061/triathlon-apparel

I figure what with all the pop-tart and calzone eating people blog about, there should be plenty of you to post.

And DC Rainmaker, blueberry eating is NOT shameful enough for this.

http://dailyviews.runnersworld.com/2008/07/daily-confessio.html

My shamful behavior, lest you think I am an angel (snort, giggle):

I routinely call people out on trails for talking on their cell phones, not yielding, etc. just see last year's RNR half post.

I have in the last week: eaten an entire pineapple and olive pizza in one sitting, twice.

Last night I ate and entire calzone, again.

Last week I carb loaded with a box of ginger thins.

I ran last week in a tri top that I had worn to the beach, swam and ran in, and not washed before the last run.

I frequently pee while running in races.

I don't train with friends who are faster than me because I'm embarrassed about my pace.

Post your sins then say ten Hail Marys and watch the Tour for an hour.

Triangle Man

2008-07-21T10:21:00.005-04:00

Last week I decided to give my gastric pyrotechnics a break after an evening treadmill run resulted in run 2.5 miles, puke, run 2.5 miles, puke.

Coastie Dan took me on the Arlington Triangle route.

A little background, I am kind of a freak about biking. I'm very claustrophobic, and I don't draft when training. You can't do it in the race, so there's no point training that way. Not to mention people are idiots, and I don't trust anyone with my collarbones. And trails are crowded, and DC drivers suck, so you need all the reaction time you can get.

So I had requested that we go on a trail that would not be super crowded. Dan picked the triangle.

When I first started riding, I trained with a friend who was either completely selfcentered, or just insane. Running stop signs and lights, no qualms about darting in front of cars. No warnings about stopping. I commute in the morning, and generally drive a lot. I know EXACTLY how annoying it is to wait for a light, maybe through 3 cycles, only to have some biker dart in front of you against the light so you have to slam on your brakes. I also know a fair number of people who have been hit by cars while biking, resulting in some serious injuries. So in general, I try to be good about that. I'm not an angel by any means, but I try to respect traffic laws.

Dan, in general super considerate, and a great person to bike with. All around the nicest person ever, signaled stops and safety points on the trail, let me set the tempo, signaled passing when I forgot, and didn't slap me when I asked where the turnaround was. Duh Xena, it's a triangle.

Meanwhile, I am working on developing my Weirding/Jedi voice that makes people with baby joggers or trip-wire dog leashes yield on the trail. I have however cultivated a super bitchy tone which allows me to yell "On your left" in such a way that conveys "Move your ass".

We'll see whether Dan will be seen with me on a bike again.

Highlights: flying down one of the hills at like 30 mph over poorly maintained trail. Scouting several good places to dump a body. Finally getting over post-surgery bike fear.

Woot!

People who are worse than dopers.

2008-07-18T16:29:00.004-04:00

So if you know me at all, you know I'm usually fundraising for something, usually children or cancer, or children with cancer.

One of the charities I've supported in the past is the Food and Friends Dining Out for Life campaign. I missed it this year since it was the same day as my last surgery, or really close to it. They also have a bike ride they hold sort of like the MS bike ride.

Anyways, their mission is preparing and delivering meals to people who are fighting serious illnesses like AIDS or cancer. And to qualify you essentially have to be below the poverty line. A very worthwhile cause.

Now I had checked into their finances when I first started volunteering for them. I don't really want to work with anyone who has an overhead of more than about 20%. I had asked about this, and was told theirs was running about 23% because they just moved into a larger facility in DC and that number should come down in the future.

Or maybe it was just the astronomical paycheck they were cutting for their executive director:

Chief's Pay Criticized As Charity Cuts Back
By Philip Rucker
Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, July 17, 2008;

Food & Friends, a nonprofit organization that provides meals and other nutritional services to homebound HIV-AIDS and cancer patients across the Washington region, is scaling back its services, citing declining donations and rising fuel and food costs.
The cuts come as the District-based charity is facing criticism from some donors, AIDS activists and nonprofit group watchdogs, who say the compensation awarded to the group's longtime chief is too high.

Food & Friends paid Executive Director Craig M. Shniderman $357,447 in salary and benefits last year, and Shniderman, 60, said his salary has increased 4 percent this year. "Food & Friends compensates all of the staff appropriately, and that compensation is not, shall we say, fluctuated according to the momentary circumstances," he said.

There is no legal limit to how much tax-exempt charities can pay their executives, but two charity experts who reviewed Food & Friends' federal filings at the request of The Washington Post said they believed Shniderman's compensation to be unusually high relative to the organization's size.
"It appears excessive in relation to other nonprofits in related fields," said Daniel Borochoff, president of the American Institute of Philanthropy.
Shniderman's pay is substantially higher than the top salaries at many comparable area charities and has risen steadily from $145,000 in 1998, according to federal tax filings reviewed by The Post.

Food & Friends' board of directors, to whom Shniderman reports, defended his compensation, citing his decades of experience in social services and his role as chief fundraiser and manager of the nonprofit group, which has an $8 million annual budget and a staff of 58.
"We are lucky to have him, and we should pay him at the top of the range in order to incentivize him and retain him. And that's what we've done, and we think it's completely justified," said Christopher Wolf, a past president and current member of the charity's executive committee.
Last year, Shniderman received a salary of $270,290, as well as $31,318 in various insurances and a pension plan and $55,839 in deferred compensation. He said he has not considered taking a pay cut.

Many similar area groups pay their executives less, according to those organizations' most recent federal tax filings. At Capital Area Food Bank, whose $33 million budget is about four times that of Food & Friends, president and chief executive Lynn Brantley received $127,756 in salary and benefits. At Bread for the City, which has a $3.9 million budget, Executive Director George A. Jones received $102,627. And at D.C. Central Kitchen, which has a $6.7 million budget, President Robert Egger received $81,457.
The Whitman-Walker Clinic, a nonprofit group that has a $22 million budget and is the region's largest community-based provider of HIV-AIDS medical services, paid its then-top executive, Roberta Geidner-Antoniotti, $169,524.
Shniderman's salary is comparable to those of the top executives at some AIDS and food nonprofit groups in New York and San Francisco. But many of those organizations are larger, and they are in cities with higher costs of living.

"This is way out of whack, and the board really ought to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him," said Doug White, a nonprofit management adviser and author of "Charity on Trial," who reviewed the group's records at The Post's request.
Shniderman's pay is set every few years by the board of directors, which hires an independent consulting firm, James E. Rocco and Associates, to advise it.
In a memorandum yesterday, Rocco wrote that Shniderman's compensation falls between the 50th and 75th percentile of salaries in the competitive labor market and reflects Shniderman's experience.
Food & Friends received three stars out of four from the online watchdog Charity Navigator, largely because the group has reported relatively low overhead costs.
Shniderman's compensation sparked an outcry last month, after the charity announced it was scaling back services, including putting new patients on a waiting list and reducing the number of meals provided to family members of ill patients.
Since then, the Washington Blade, a gay-oriented newspaper, published an article detailing Food & Friends' cuts that included criticism of Shniderman's salary. And gay rights activist and blogger Michael Petrelis has seized on Shniderman's pay in several provocative postings.
"He has no shame about taking yet another increase in compensation while people with AIDS are having nutritional services and food cut," Petrelis said from his San Francisco home. "As a person with AIDS, I'm appalled by this."
Peter Rothberg, a D.C. businessman who said he has donated to Food & Friends, was also disturbed by Shniderman's salary. "I feel like nobody should be getting rich off of a charity," Rothberg said.
But William Z. Goldstein, a former board president at Food & Friends who still donates to the charity, said Shniderman is an "amazing administrator."
"His compensation on its own merit seems high," Goldstein said. "But I think one needs to look further into some of his additional responsibilities or achievements."
Wolf and Shniderman, who was hired as executive director in 1995, said the cuts are unrelated to Shniderman's pay.
"We're not cutting back because of our executive director's compensation, I can tell you that," Wolf said.
This year, Food & Friends received about $300,000 less in federal AIDS-related funds allocated by the D.C. government than it did last year, Shniderman said. Wolf said the charity hopes to resume its full level of service.
© 2008 The Washington Post Company

Really? I call bullshit. How on earth can you deny a terminally ill economically disadvantaged person services and live with receiving over a third of a million dollars in salary?!!!

In all fairness here is their (non)response:

Dear Supporter,
You may have read recent press coverage of nonprofit executive compensation. Here at Food & Friends, we are proud of our financial practices. It is our mission to strategically maximize the number of people we serve while ensuring the best quality service for our clients. We take budgeting and the setting of salaries very seriously, undertaking a long and detailed process to determine appropriate and competitive compensation for each staff position. The Board of Directors rigorously reviews the quality of the work of our Executive Director, Craig Shniderman. Unlike many organizations, our board brings in a highly-regarded national consulting firm to conduct a very focused review to ensure that Craig’s salary is in line with that of other, comparable nonprofits. Since 1995, when Craig joined us, Food & Friends has grown from the basement of a church, serving 995 people annually, to a service that will provide more than 850,000 meals this year from a new $9 million kitchen and distribution center – all of which occurred, and in large part was made possible, through Craig’s tireless leadership. Our budget has grown from $2.2 million to $8.2 million, allowing us to serve more people each and every year. Craig is an executive director of the highest quality, and we have taken steps to ensure that he stays at Food & Friends.Food & Friends works hard to ensure that administrative expenses are very low. Fully 78.92% of all money raised goes directly to caring for those facing life-challenging illnesses in our community. Likewise, we leverage the support of more than 6,500 volunteers each year to stretch every dollar we raise. Of course none of what we do at Food & Friends would be possible without the support of our community of committed donors and volunteers, for which we are truly grateful.We know that there are many competing interests for your charitable dollar -- and those dollars are even more meaningful in this challenging economy. We pledge to continue to be good stewards of your confidence and support and to continue to provide the highest quality nutrition services, with compassion and love, to our friends and neighbors in need.

Should you have any further questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact a member of our staff or me:

John Barnes , Deputy Executive Director for Program & Development, 202.269.6870

George Bednar , Deputy Executive Director for Finance & Administration, 202.269.6838

Lisa Bandera , Communications Director, 202.269.6875

Thank you for your continued support of Food & Friends,
Robert Hall III

President, Food & Friends’ Board of Directors

202.842.1222

Needless to say, I won't be supporting them again anytime soon. The saddest part is that it's the clients who will pay for the board's bad judgment.

Blinded with science

2008-07-16T17:20:00.002-04:00

Fellow tri clubber C posted a job opening for Discovery:

Wanna be on TV and travel to exotic places? We're looking for a fit, adventurous, and science-savvy host for a new documentary television series (think "Dirty Jobs" but for hard scientific expeditions). Feel free to forward around to any good candidates you know.

CASTING CALL FOR SCIENTISTS AND OUTDOOR ADVENTURERS

National Geographic Television is looking for a science-savvy, outdoor adventurer to host a new television series. Our host will travel to remote and dangerous places to help scientists gather data in order to find answers to some of the world’s most puzzling questions. You don’t have to have a science degree. Just prove that you are charismatic, adventurous, and have a broad knowledge of various branches of science. You’ll be talking with teams of scientists in the field, and translating what’s going on to our viewers. The ideal candidate will have a diverse range of experience in fields such as animal tagging, scuba diving, cave exploring, and rock climbing. Our host will be able to combine adventure with cutting edge science. Experience with high-tech equipment is also a plus.

Deadline: ASAP

The sooner it’s in, the more likely we are to consider you!

Send resumes, informal photos and/or headshots, video of yourself, and inquiries to:hardscience@ngs.org (electronic submissions preferred)

Send hard copies to:
Coordinator, Series Production
Attn: Science Series HostNational Geographic Television
1145 17th St. NWWashington DC, 20036

Okay, I had been job searching anyway, but wow, this looks so super awesome.

My dream job list now includes:
1. Pirate Ninja
2. Funded Mad Scientist
3. Gladiator on American Gladiators
4. Host of geeky science show.

I realize that I have a better chance of getting struck by lightning or actually finishing an ironman or really of both happening at the same time than getting this job, but why not at least try?

Runtime Failure

2008-07-11T14:56:00.003-04:00

DC Rainmaker has been talking up the Tuesday and Thursday night Pacers runs. Since I'm staying in that area for the next month, I thought I'd check them out.

Tuesday:
With one run under my belt since finishing the good drugs, I headed over to Pacers to check out their runs. Double checked the time and location. I had been reassured that there were multiple pace groups, even one for slower than molasses in Siberia.

Too bad I didn't realize Tuesdays are the hill runs.

I got about halfway done when I started to feel like projectile vomiting was imminent. Then I got passed by my D-bag ex and his girlfriend. I should have expected that, after all it's the same route he and I used to run together when we were dating. Hopefully history only repeats itself in that manner, and he's not cheating on her with multiple girls.

Anyways, there was one big plus, I met two really nice girls who were doing the Galloway method who let me pace off of them.

Tuesday:
Eat more during the day to make sure I don't tank.
Fill up Gelbot.
Go to Pacers.
Flat run, thank God.
Mizuno is offering to let us try their shoes for the run. I know I can really only wear Saucony, so pass.
Get to the turnaround point at Belle Haven, so hot I can't stand it. Take a field shower at the bathrooms.
Walk a mile trying to get my HR down, no matter what it never gets below 160.
Feel so nauseous I contemplate forcing myself to yak so I can feel better.
Get leers from fishermen on overpass, keep walking.

All I can figure is that I am not genetically engineered to run in the evenings. I almost exclusively run early in the morning. Or maybe it's the steroids?

I'm going to run Saturday. We'll see what happens.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch ...

2008-07-08T15:10:00.005-04:00

Okay so just to catch up on a few things:

1. I mentioned the most awesome bike gearing system ever. The Fuji automatic touring bike has come to my attention as well. Different gearing system, but still an interesting concept.

2. I have not yet checked out the Ellsworth bike since I've been saddled with bronchitis. Turns out the doctor was right. The antibiotics and the steroids kicked my ass and it was all I could do besides wheeze for the last couple weeks.

3. Leading designs for tattoo:
a. 140.6 with the Swim, Bike, and Run stick figures around it.
b. Compass Rose with 1, 4, 0, and 6 at the points.
Now to just train for the race and become a superhuman in the next year.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blogging.

But what about the tattoo?

2008-06-27T07:58:00.002-04:00

There's been a thread going on the DC Tri website about Ironman races in 2009. Since I have no actual training to entertain you with, I present to you the following puff piece.

I've been wanting to do an IM for a while. The spirit is willing but the flesh is, well, mangled.

In moments of delusional optimism, I've been eyeing the Beach 2 Battleship.
B2B is an iron distance race put on by one of my favorite race companies, Set-up Events. They're nice, their races are well run, they have a user-friendly informative website (I'm looking at you, Piranha Sports, seriously).

The biggest question is not how will I manage over 2 miles of swimming on a damaged shoulder, or how will I handle training for an IM when I've only (barely) done sprints, it's what to do about the tattoo?

It's not an IM branded event, so the M Dot isn't really appropriate. Not to mention it would involve explaining to everyone who asked that I would (in my dreams) have done an ironman distance event, that wasn't an actual Ironman.
I'm automatically nixing the idea of anything beach themed. 18 years of living at the beach has translated all dolphins, seahorses, and starfish into tourist trash.
And I kind of feel like a battleship could be badly misinterpreted, WUBA, etc.

So I will now open this up to discussion, if lightning strikes, and hell freezes over, and I get into and finish B2B what should the tattoo look like?

I'm aiming for something on the shoulder to cover all the surgical scars. Submit your designs now and keep me entertained on a Friday.

Legally taking steroids. But not the fun kind.

2008-06-26T16:56:00.003-04:00

Running outside+ asthma + swimming = bronchitis.

After missing quite a bit of training and fun, and OD-ing on zinc, I gave up and went to the doctor's.

Dr. P: So what are you training for this time that you got sick?
Me: Oh not much. Maybe a couple tris and a marathon.

Dr. P: Take the inhalable steroid.
Me: But they give me throat infections :P
Dr. P: Are you gargling afterwards?
Me: Yeah.
Dr. P: Are you spitting or swallowing?
Me: Bahahahahaha, cough cough cough.
Dr.P: Take the steroid and swallow when you gargle. Sigh.

So you have it straight from a medical professional. If you aren't swallowing, you aren't doing it right.

Me: So what kind of training am I allowed to do?
Dr.P: Sleeping
Me: Does that include biking if I keep it in Z2?
Dr.P: Sigh. Take the next couple days off.
Me: Can I run the 10K on Saturday?
Dr.P: How much longer do you want to be sick?
Me: Is this a trick question?

What's the fun of being on steroids if I'm not allowed to train?

Talk Nerdy to Me

2008-06-20T16:27:00.005-04:00

Dan of Dan's Coastie Fun/ the RFD came by today and asked if I had heard about the new gearing system used by Ellsworth bikes. What followed was a bike nerd geek out of epic proportions.

I hope I am smart enough to do this justice.

The RIDE:
Ever wish someone made an automatic transmission bike?
The gearing system for The Ride (angelic choir) uses ball bearings in a gel solution instead of cogs, etc. By twisting the grip on the handlebars, you shift the channel the ball bearings rest in, causing the ball bearings to put more or less pressure on the magic goo. This in turn makes the magic goo solidify or liquify transferring power.

If I understand this correctly, this is how the new bullet proof vests work.

Ripped from Popular Science:
The Infinitely Geared Bike
Cyclists have been waiting a long time for this one. Based on a 1490s sketch by Leonardo da Vinci, The Ride’s rear hub mimics an infinite number of gears, rather than the mere 21 offered by the usual chain-yanking transmission. So you can always find the perfect gear ratio, whether starting from a stop or speeding down a hill. Twist a dial on the handlebar, and ball bearings in the bike’s NuVinci transmission tilt between two rotating metal discs. (Your pedaling turns one disc; the other transfers power to the rear wheel.) As the balls tilt, they touch the discs at varying angles. This changes how fast the wheel spins relative to your pedaling—slowly for low gear ratios, where pedaling is easy but the wheel doesn’t turn much, and quickly for high ratios. The balls can roll to almost any angle, giving you precise control over the bike’s torque (and your exertion). This latest take on da Vinci’s continuous transmission has potential uses beyond bikes. Within four years, expect to see the NuVinci in cars, tractors, even wind turbines —the possibilities are nearly as limitless as the gear ratios.

I might have just wet my pants. When they make a racing road bike, I'll be selling a kidney on Craigslist to buy one.

ellsworthbikes.com
http://www.fallbrooktech.com/
http://www.popsci.com/popsci/flat/bown/2007/recreation/item_98.html

Team Fight

2008-06-19T15:51:00.003-04:00

After doing Holly's Cancer to 5K program, which is funded through a grant from the Ulman Cancer Fund, I decided to join Team Fight.

Team Fight is the fundraising training program for the Ulman Cancer Fund. Sort of equivalent to Team In Training, but so far a much more positive experience.

So about the Ulman Cancer Fund and why you should care:
The National Cancer Institute (NCI) estimates as of January 2000 there were approximately 9.6 million cancer survivors in the United States. Within that number resides the second fastest growing population of cancer survivors in the country, adolescents and young adults. Each year, 70,000 people between the ages of 18-40 are diagnosed with cancer. Currently, more than one in every 900 persons in the United States between the ages of 20 and 45 years of age are survivors of childhood cancer. Cancer is the leading disease killer among 20-39 year-olds. Moreover, the young adult population is the most likely to be uninsured or underinsured - too old for their parents plans and not established in careers with full health benefits.
Young adults and adolescents continue to be challenged with countless issues specific to their demographic making them one of the most underserved populations of people affected by cancer. However, of the more than 400 cancer organizations in the U.S., very few to none focus specifically on cancer survivorship issues faced by young adults and adolescents.

The Ulman Cancer Fund For Young Adults and its network of friends, survivors, and other support organizations in the cancer community, wish to provide a place the young adult population can call home and find support for these growing issues.

So what is Team Fight?

TEAM FIGHT: Training Together to Help Young Adults Fight Cancer
Compete in a run, walk, bike ride or triathlon with a group of teammates or on your own in your community - everyone working towards the same goal - to help young adults fight cancer.

I'm a big wuss so I chose Iron Girl. But they also have groups for you hardcore people who do longer distances like Eagleman. I have no desire to race Eagleman, ever. But if this year goes well, I might train with the group again and try to race White Lake next year. We'll see.

Anyways, so the latest and greatest fundraising site is posted to the left. And as always, there isn't much I won't do in the name of fundraising. The minimums are really low as opposed to TNT, so consider it if you think you'd like to turn a race into something more.

http://www.ulmanfund.org/AboutUs/tabid/52/Default.aspx

Bike, run, swim

2008-06-15T13:07:00.004-04:00

Saturday morning I had a brick with the Team Fight hope to be Iron Girls.

I was kind of dreading both driving up to Columbia and getting on the bike for the first time in a year. Brock, our coach from the Ulman Cancer Fund sweetly helped me get my tires pumped up and my wheels set up.

We rode the 2.5 mile Gateway loop and then ran/shuffled one loop. They call it a brick for a reason. The biking went great. I feel a lot better about it, and I think I'm going to try to start riding regularly with a beginner group. I met some cool people including a lady who rows for Annapolis, and got a low-fat cake recipe :)

In a stroke of genius, I had scheduled my first swim session later that day.

Coach Alan is DC Rainmaker's new coach. He graciously agreed to take me on as a swim (head) case.

How to explain Coach Alan:

He's a retired Air Force Colonel. He talks a LOT. He absolutely knows his stuff. And thankfully can mostly explain it to me in a way I can understand. I love military people, they just make sense. Them and engineers. Just in case you need proof that Coach Alan is awesome: http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20060917/news_m1sc17triath.html.

A one hour introductory session turned into a two hour swim session. And I really think it will help. I have three pages of homework which include drills, drills, and more drills. And they involve fins and a pull buoy. The co-worker I've been swimming with has already refused to be seen at the pool with me. Although the stylish accessories should hopefully ensure that I won't do any more damage to my shoulder.

The nose clip is out though. It's uncomfortable and for some reason makes me want to panic. I'll risk the chlorine cold.

Survivor Harbor 7 (or 5K)

2008-06-12T15:47:00.011-04:00

Sunday was the Survivor Harbor 7 mile and 5K race benefitting the Ullman Cancer Fund.

In case you didn't notice, it has been ungodly hot. Like crazy hot. Training on the sun hot.
I had already run a 5K on Saturday, then spent the rest of the day outside. I tried really hard to convince everyone to help me hydrate and carb re-load with margaritas and fajitas, but for some reason no one else was up for that plan.

The Survivor 7 was the culmination of the Cancer to 5K program that Holly heads up. I was supposed to sherpa Jess, but then she broke her ankle. I was then supposed to sherpa Cindy but she came down with a knee problem. At this point I was free to enter the 7 miler and run a longer but not long run for the marathon training program. All I thought about Saturday was 1. sucks to be the people at Eagleman. and 2. thank God I didn't switch into the 7 miler. I like the heat. I like running in the heat, but I am so happy I didn't have to on Sunday.

Anyways, the race was in Baltimore. Same deal as Saturday, wake up, force myself out the door. Remembered the HRM this time. UnderArmour tank top and Adidas running skirt easy, breezy, beautiful. I met up with the CT5K people at Can Row after taking a detour through a rather "scenic" part of Baltimore. Then we piled onto very late and oddly not staggered buses to head to the start line.

This is where I had to will my patience into existence again. We hung around at the start line for like an hour minimum waiting to start the race. By the time we started I had already drank my entire bottle of water I had brought with me, and there was no water available there. Everyone else was in the same situation. Already hot, sweaty, and not really feeling great. And, I was starving. I had wolfed down a Luna bar and a half plus half of a Nutrigrain bar on the way there. I didn't bring anything with me, thinking hey a 5K, can't take that long. I didn't plan on sitting around for an hour and a half before running.

In the meantime, we took team pictures, they warmed up, we cheered on the wheelchair racers, and the front runners for the 7 miler.

Since I didn't have a plan other than not to get heat stroke, I tagged along with Beth's entourage. We joked about it being like running with the president since she was protected from all angles. And met an awesome girl I'll hopefully get to run with out in Alexandria sometime.

Several issues for the race directors to think about for next year:

Point to point races are a logistical PITA. Please rethink this.
Maybe it's not a good idea to have everyone sitting around in the heat for an hour before the race starts.
Really ridiculously cruel to make the wheelchair participants come screaming down the hill towards the water then have to make a left hand turn. Over cobblestones. Kind of a dick move. There were several times when I thought someone was going to fly into the water or slam into the stone wall. Really it sort of says, we have a category for you, but are going to make you wish you hadn't signed up.
Thank you for adding the extra water station. However making it more obvious and putting on the RIGHT would have averted some of the incidents.
Perhaps directing everyone to park in the garage and then routing all of the runners in front of that garage is unsafe for everyone involved.
Making people run over speedbumps at the finish line is also kind of asking for trouble.
Maybe you shouldn't start the 5K at the busiest point of the 7 miler.

I am happy to say that both races learned from the ATM's mistakes and had extra water stops, misting tents, and seemed to be aware of the heat danger. There were no less than three people who crossed the finish line only to projectile vomit.

The race finish was thankfully across the street from a Coldstone and a Starbucks. Coldstone would have made bank had they been open. Starbucks had a continuous line for like three hours. Nothing like a latte and a croissant for the long drive home. And thank you race director for giving me directions home that did not involve parts of Baltimore I have no business being in, I'm looking at you Yahoo maps. One other cool thing about the Survivor 7, they have categories for cancer survivors. I think one of the CT5k'ers won their age group.

Thanks to Holly for a great program, always being Susie Sunshine, and organizing everything. Congratulations to all the CT5K participants, you guys are awesome for finishing on such a tough race day.

Too hot to warm up, and too cool for school :)

Getting a pep talk from Holly

Group photo: Can you spot my cell phone in this picture?

Bringing up the Rear :)

The Running Juggler!

Don't trip over the speed bump,

don't trip over the speed bump,

don't trip over the speed bump!

Finished! Where's my bagel?

Giving Mother Hen a heads up on one of her chicks.

Petty in pink

2008-06-10T17:05:00.004-04:00

I apologize in advance for the crankiness of these posts. I really did have a fun time, just a little snarky lately :)

Saturday was the Race for the Cure in DC.

I got up at 5:30am, argued with myself for a while about going or not. Finally decided it was unacceptable to bail on the race, and to just go, and quit whining. A 5K takes under an hour and I can suffer through anything for an hour.

I tend to side a lot more with getting up and training now that I'm single ...

I put on my hot pink Skirt Sports tri top, and my pink camo Skirt Sports Gym girl. It's appropriately camo since that thing has more pockets than cargo pants. Grabbed a couple bottles of water and ran out the door.

The Race for the Cure is smack dab in DC, so no driving. Caught the Metro at the end of the line and it was already packed. Now why at this point, they didn't just shuttle us to the race, or run a lot more trains. If you're going to encourage people to take the Metro, and "partner" with Metro, shouldn't they adjust to shuttling 25,000 people into the city?

Looking around at all the people wearing their race day shirts (free pass on this one) that I had left my bib at home. With my heart rate monitor. Doh! Well, what with all the hot pink I was wearing, I think they'll recognize me as one of theirs. That or I'm headed to a Barbie convention.

So most of the people were neophytes of some sort- new to the Metro, new to running, new to the civilized world ...

I was trying to be patient since everyone was there for a good cause, and these people are either survivors or someone who knows someone who has breast cancer.

However: do not try to shove into an already packed train. When they announce that some jerk is leaning on the doors preventing us from leaving, yes they are talking to you. You cannot use your paper card at the Smart Pass lines. It's been like 3 years people, get on board.

And my personal favorite, the lady leaning on the OUTSIDE of the train, as we are jetting away from the platform. Sigh.

I let the herd flood off at Federal Triangle, and committed to sprinting to the start line from the Smithsonian Mall stop. It's about the same distance away, and my sanity was worth the sprint.

I met up with my team just in time, and saw my friend Karl who was running with some of his class from the fire academy. He was wearing a t-shirt that said "Saving Second Base". Ahhh, that never gets old :)

There were supposed to be two waves, the run wave, and the walk wave. I was in the "run" wave, which became a game of human frogger.

Again, I was working to be nice, but seriously:

If you have a baby jogger, you belong in the walk wave.
If you signed up to run, but decided 98 was too hot, you belong in the walk wave.
If you are carrying a large banner, you belong in the walk wave.
I am not a fast runner by any stretch of the imagination, you have to be pretty slow to be a human speed bump for me.
And seriously people, run left, walk right, stop off the course, just like on the beltway.
And if you hit me with your baby jogger, next time I will throw an elbow. There are thousands of people running. If everyone else had to stop to walk because of crowding, it is not acceptable for you to shove everyone with your baby jogger. You get to walk too.

I will say that the race directors handled the heat pretty well. They seemed to have added an extra water stop, and a misting tent. And they were handing out water immediately once you stopped. The finish chute was the worst possible scenario. People were forced into lines, which became a full standstill. Going from a full sprint to the finish then stopping dead is not a smart plan in the heat. I have no idea how people didn't pass out right and left from the change in blood pressure.

All in all, kind of a frustrating experience. I didn't mind the heat and had a pretty good run, but I will sign up as a walker from now on.

Thanks to everyone who sponsored me!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch ...

2008-06-09T15:48:00.004-04:00

I got called out for not posting in a while. I've done some training here and there, but nothing really noteworthy. And I've been a little cranky, and posting snarky is okay. Posting flat out bitchy, kind of over the line.

Previously, on Iron Panda ...

I started swimming again. I'm still swimming about twice a week with a co-worker that I'm trying to sucker into doing a tri with me. I think he's coming around. It might help that he beats me down the lane every time. And racing him gives me a welcome distraction. The latest twist is movie trivia. You get a quote at the start, have to come up with the movie by the end of the lap. I desperately need a coach, but I'm kind of afraid at the same time. I put on my big girl pants and contacted DC Rainmaker's new coach. I'll report back later.

Marathon training is still going on. I missed some time to the trip home. I didn't run the RNR course like I wanted to, but I think in the future I'll be happy I spent the weekend cheering up mom, and not regretting the lost training day. I tweaked my knee somehow last week, so I laid off running for the week. I did run two 5K's this weekend, and those went well. "Race" reports to come.

Still not biking. There is something unique about the pressure that puts on my shoulder. I made it through about 30 minutes just on the spinner before I gave in. This will be an issue to discuss with the new coach if he's amenable. He's only supposed to be talking to me about swimming.

I go back to crew this week. Hoping everything goes well. I've already missed one regatta and will probably miss at least one more. Keep your fingers crossed that I have finished with bicep tendinitis and the dreaded ice cup therapy.

The Spirit, and the Water, and the Blood.

2008-05-22T17:16:00.006-04:00

I'm getting ready to go home for a couple days soon and I've been getting progressively more homesick. Some people think of food or family, I've been missing the ocean.
Today, the water gods repaid my loyalty to them by flooding my back yard.

In a couple weeks, I'm heading back to the beach to tour a sub and spend a couple days with the family- there was my birthday, Mother's Day, and Jopoppa's birthday so good timing all around.

I've been talking to a triathlete friend who's down there about meeting up while I'm home and he told me about his tri team. It pretty much embodies everything I miss about the beach, weekly Open Water Swims, biking flat safe roads, laid back beach atmosphere. I am really, really envious of that training group. The pictures of the ocean were enough to make me want to cry and call home. Don't get me wrong, DC Tri is great, but they are unquestionably focused on the elite athlete. Kind of like the difference between hashing and racing.
I'm not sure I could give up life in DC, but sometimes moving back is incredibly tempting, especially during the summer. No rowing to be had there, but the ocean ...

Since I've been kind of a sensitive royal PITA this week, I figured a night to myself was in order. If for no other reason than to spare everyone else my company when I'm this annoying. So I actually made it to church, and then to swim for the first time since the surgeries.

Swimming went surprisingly well. My goal was to make it through 500 yards no matter how ugly it was. I alternated 100 yards of freestyle with 100 yards of kickboarding and breathing drills. When I still felt out of sync, I went back to the old standby ... Kajagoogoo. I cannot explain why that works, it just does. The last 100 yeards I felt like I was swimming like I wanted to, if a little awkward. And I still am not an ambi-breather, but just being back in the water helped to center me a little.

This morning, I paid for that swim in spades. The shoulder is on fire, and icing not helping too much. We'll see what the PT has to say about it tomorrow.

Meanwhile, there's also a tri while I'm home. Registration is closed, and there's no way I could manage an ocean swim now anyways, but I might volunteer. If I have to be on the sidelines, I may as well be at the 50 yard line, right? And volunteering I will be a safe distance from the evil jellyfish.

http://www.coastalracing.org/
http://www.breezypointtri.com/

Germantown 5 miler

2008-05-19T15:27:00.004-04:00

I needed to run 5 miles this weekend for the marathon training. I figure if I'm going to run, it might as well be on a supported course. It was really tempting to sign up last minute for the Marine Corps Half, but I've been feeling like I might be cultivating a kidney stone so I followed the training plan.

The last 5 miler I ran was also in Maryland, but it was pretty painful since I ran it the day after I got cleared for activity and like 11 days after my second shoulder procedure.

I got lost getting to the race site since the directions were not quite accurate, thank you race directors. And since they chose to not list an accurate location my Yahoo Maps directions were no help. I got there just in time to get my chip and run.

It was a beautiful day if a little chilly. I was wearing my long sleeve UnderArmor t-shirt from the Philly half to remind myself why I was up and in Maryland on a Saturday morning. The juggling runner was there, saw my shirt and asked if I had seen him at Philly. I said yeah, and a few other races, and even juggling he's beaten me every time. Juggling runner said to just keep running, that's all that matters.

I might add that not only did this guy beat me, he ran the Marine Corps Half the next day. Also while juggling.

The course was rolling hills which weren't too bad. I think I'm getting some strength back since they're getting easier. Thank you trainer Blaine, I will continue to do the accursed walking lunges :P

I almost accidentally cut the course since they had us run around a parking lot and the marking wasn't very clear on where to go.

It was a small race, so the finish wasn't huge, but hey free bagel. One thing though, I had requested and paid for a performance shirt but they didn't have any at all, and the race director was nowhere to be found when I asked about it. I even checked my receipt when I got home, and I'm not crazy, I did pay for a tech shirt.
It was a nice way to spend a Saturday morning, but I'm not sure I'd do the race again.

When I got home I begged Louie the walker hound to let me sleep for a half an hour, then took him for a two mile walk after eating half of my free bagel.

Peppers weren't that hot, softballs aren't that soft ...

2008-05-16T16:17:00.006-04:00

Louie is S's dog. He's some kind of hound and very sweet and cute. He doesn't generally bark, and is a little too smart for everyone's good. He knows what is most important to you/your favorite and will find a way to access said object/paperwork/shoe and chew on it thus showing you his displeasure at being left alone while you are out having all the fun at work.

My plan was to run with Louie as much as possible, both because it's sort of like a doggie treadmill what with him pulling me down the street/into the bushes/ towards every blonde girl in sight, and because I was hoping if I wore him out, he would be too tired to eat anything in the apartment.

So Thursday I took Louie dog for a 45 minute jog around the neighborhood then ran off to a fundraiser dinner at Los Tios for church. Veggie fajitas, how do I love thee. Then I fell prey to the classic "Hey this is awful, try it!". Generally speaking I like spicy food. Not so much spicy hot, but spicy flavorful. Jopoppa however, loves all things hot and spicy. We used to grow habaneros in the back yard, and then they were in everything we ate for months. Because 1. peppers are the cockroach of plants, they can survive a nuclear holocaust. and 2. while the birds loved the figs and plums they wouldn't even get near the habanero bushes. Jopoppa can't really smell or taste anything anymore ...

So I got roped into eating some mystery green chile suace. Actually kind of good on the taco chips. Two keys to eating hot foods: eat with bread or milk products, chase with citrus.

Then it was off to softball with the church league. I was really hoping the game would be called for rain since I was really tired and wanted to get home in time to watch LOST. One girl from the opposing team turned out went to VT with me, and we knew each other from some sorority thing. Truth be told, I seem to recall I might have beaten her at some lame pseudo-sports charity thing like joust at Gold Rush or something. Hopefully I was nice about it. She didn't seem scarred or nervous, so I guess so.

Anways, so petite blonde VT girl is covering second base. Our runner is trying to avoid the tag and slide into the base. Instead he full on tackles her face first into the dirt. Hilarious, since no one got hurt. And very, very awkward for them.

I hit a couple grounders, a decent hit which was unfortunately caught, and a pop-up which I thankfully remembered to just run this time. All in all 3 runs, about 12% of our total scoring. I'd really like to up that number to 20%, but I need to get to the batting cage.

On one of the hits, I had eventually made it to second, batter gets a hit and I'm running for third. This cute little blonde girl is throwing to the 6'2" husky third baseman and beams it and clocks him in the face/neck with it. I have no idea how that didn't either break his jaw or knock him out. That seriously looked painful.

In the end, they beat us 22-20, and it was the most fun I've had at a softball game ever. Glad it didn't get rained out after all even if I did miss LOST.

Paging Dr. Freud

2008-05-15T10:28:00.006-04:00

I had my first triathlon dream in a long time last night. I think brought on by: too much pizza for lunch, Zyrtec, and resisting the urge to strangle my swim coach and a couple other tri-people.

Background: I had signed up for Columbia, then unexpectedly had another surgery. I was going to volunteer, but that process was even less well organized than the race.

The dream:
I'm at Columbia all sleek fitness and ready to go. First indication that this is a dream. Somehow I had already done the swim. Even sleeping I put off swimming. I'm biking and doing great when I almost fall, realizing I blew a tire. Not got a flat, but a full scale blow out like tractor trailers get. I pull over and someone who is apparently support crew for me helps me get my tire off but we can't fix it. The tire is all misshapen and not uniform, almost triangular. I know my race is screwed but I'm begging and arguing with the organizers to let me at least complete the run because either way I need the workout. I'm also trying to make sure that they mark me as DQ'ed so I don't ruin someone's chances of winning. Catholic guilt pervasive even in the subconscious. I'm off and running, and come back just in time to see my car towed. I'm chasing the tow truck and yelling when I "wake up" and realize that it's just a dream and that I'm taking a post-race nap and that I'm in my car. Some other random stuff involving eating dinner (again focused on food even sleeping) and then I really do wake up.

Seriously, if I'm going to dream about tri, why can't it be a good dream? Like I'm a pro triathlete who's won Kona and shagging a NHL player who has a PhD in astrophysics?

Brick nic

2008-05-04T23:23:00.033-04:00

Saturday I volunteered at the Tri club brick-nic out at the Columbia course.

Brick: a workout combining two out of three successive events in a triathlon. The most common is a bike-run brick, although some (crazy) people practice aquabricks too. This involves a long bike ride followed by usually a shorter run. So named because your legs feel like bricks for the first couple miles you run.
Brick-nic: Brick workout followed by a picnic. Because you are a really cheap date once you've just biked and run 46 miles. And at that point you can pretty much eat anything you want.

I didn't go to anywhere nearly as exotic as Wildflower, but getting to Ellicott City was an adventure. Since I'm still broken, I signed up to watch gear at the Columbia brick-nic. I didn't realize I had also signed up to be Mom for a day. The signature Columbia Triathlon is held at Centennial Park, which is confusingly NOT in Columbia, but Ellicott City. The park was pretty busy with a fishing competition, some sort of pink laden festival, and a NAMI walk for mental illness. The walk ended up using the same path as the run for a while which sort of sucked for everyone involved. I'm sure the NAMI people were wondering if they were hallucinating or if they were being invaded by a bunch of spandex wearing aliens, and the triathletes couldn't fathom anyone else having the right to use the lake path. Kind of cross purposes for all involved. Hopefully the NAMI people are okay with us since we gave them millions of leftover cupcakes, donuts, etc.

On paper, I had signed up to watch over everyone's three thousand dollar bikes while they ran. I had thought I would study for the GRE while I was there but no such luck.

The GDP of a small country

It was 75 and sunny when I left Vienna. When I got to Centennial Park, it was maybe 50 degrees. Thank you Will for bringing coffee and being kind enough to share it with me. And yes, fellow mad scientist, I am drinking out of a periodic table of elements mug.

To become a volunteer saint you must perform three momacles. Since it was unexpectedly so cold, my first momacle was to procure clothes for everyone so they wouldn't freeze on the bike. This is why I keep so much stuff in my car. You never know when you'll need a trainer mat and a "What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?" sweatshirt.

My next momacle was to herd triathlete cats into putting their 3K bikes and their transition bags along the wall, not next to the bikes. Also, convincing everyone to check in and out with the other volunteers. I channeled Jopoppa on this one, "It's your body they'll find on the edge of the road ... Check in so we know if you died ..." I got a smart ass "Any more rules and regulations?" from one tri guy. "Yeah, you can call me ma'am."

Because I said so.

My third saintly momacle was to patch up a friend who lost an argument with his pedal leaving him looking like he'd tangled with a wolverine. Back to the mom-mobile for the first aid kit. Cleaned it out, put some neosporin on it, used about a million non-Hello Kitty bandaids. All while "Mr. Army I've been to Ranger school" flinched from the sight of his own blood. Someone asked how old my kids were. I do not have children, I only have adult roommates and triathletes and occasionally engineers.

My reward for achieving Tri canon status? Winning a Podium Quest hydration system which I tossed back into the volunteer reward ether since I don't have aerobars, and I'm sure someone else would give it the home it deserves.

Around 2pm, everyone had come back in and was eating so I took off for a jog around the lake. It had warmed up a LOT by then, and I spent most of the loop wondering why: 1. didn't I run when it was 50 degrees out, 2. why am I running a hilly course when my races are both pancake flat, 3. didn't I eat something besides a cup of coffee and a bowl of oatmeal all day?
But it was a beautiful day, and fun to explore a new place.

Later, after everything had been cleaned up, I suckered a friend into coming down from Baltimore and going paddleboating on the lake with me. K might be the only person I know who is more accident prone than I am. Somehow, he almost fell into the lake while getting into the moored paddleboat. It was a lot of fun and surprisingly tiring. Then, we took a walk around the lake, and checked out the cherrybration. We saw a living statue of Joan of Arc which I wish I had photographed, scored a free Ryka dry-tech t-shirt from the Iron Girl booth, and replacement bandaids from the Johns Hopkins booth. All in all a good day.

Finally I am not lost.

Penalty tent for drafters

One loop = one brownie

Hey baby, I'm a clydesdale

That's me in the middle.

Credit to Jeanne for the photos. See her blog for an amusing take on the participant's view.

These 20 commandments ...

2008-04-30T16:34:00.008-04:00

I had signed up for the GW 10 miler with S on Sunday. Given the bad Juju of our floor, she wound up with a knee injury, I had another shoulder surgery, and neither of us could recover for that distance in time.

I had planned to give my race number and stuff to A, but she flaked out on picking it up from me the two times I went to DC to get it to her. So now I have an extra t-shirt and green grocery bag. S didn't understand why I couldn't wear the shirt, and I couldn't adequately explain how this is against the unspoken code of running geek ethics/superstitions. So I bestow upon you "The Rules":

Ripped from Big Bad Ben's Blog and edited as necessary:

In the running and triathlete community the wearing of race T-Shirts has become a sign of accomplishment and fashion. Choosing just the right T-Shirt for that special occasion can be a daunting and difficult task. The following guidelines have been compiled (in fun), to help the responsible T-shirt wearer avoid potential embarrassment and/or elevate their perceived status in their athletic community.

1. A shirt cannot be worn unless the wearer has participated in the event. There is an exception, though: volunteers are exempt.

2. Any race tee, less than a marathon distance, shouldn’t be worn to an ultramarathon event. This goes double for the wearing of sprint-tri shirts to Ironman and Half-Ironman events. It simply doesn’t represent a high enough "cool factor " and sends a red flag regarding your rookiness. It's like taking a knife to a gunfight. It's probably best just to wear a generic name-brand athletic shirt, and go hide in a corner until race time.

3. When you are returning to a race in which you have previously finished, then wear the shirt from the first year you completed the race. Don’t short-change yourself by wearing the shirt from the year before. It doesn’t adequately display the feat of accomplishment or the consummate veteran status that you are due.

4. Never wear a race event shirt for the (same) race you are about to do. Only rookies do this. It displays a total lack of integrity and might put the bad-heebee-jeebee-mojo on you for the race. Wearing a T-shirt of the race, while currently running said race, is discouraged. It’s like being at work and constantly announcing "I'm at work!". You may not wear the race shirt until 30 days past the date of the race.

5. Never wear a shirt from a run that you did not finish. To wear a race shirt is to say "I finished it". Exceptions: see guideline #1.

6. A DNF’er may wear a race shirt if... the letters DNF are boldly written on the shirt in question (using a fat Sharpie or a Marks-A-Lot). It is also acceptable to have a large-X across the name of the race on the T-shirt. While an X on your race number is associated with a drafting penalty in a non-drafting, typically Ironman races, it will stimulate discussion and you get a chance to explain why you DNF'd.

7. During a race, the wearing of shirt from a previously completed year is acceptable. Wear the oldest T-shirt you have from that race (see guideline #3). This is probably a good practice because you now have no excuse to drop out since you’ve done it before.

8. Volunteers have full T-shirt rights and all privileges pertaining thereto. So there. Remember, you can always volunteer for a race and get a shirt. I encourage this as your civil duty to be a member of the running community. Races don't happen without volunteers, folks.

9. No souvenir shirts: therefore, friends or anyone else not associated with the race may not wear a race shirt. If your mom thinks that your Boston shirt is lovely, tell her to QUALIFY for Boston herself, & send in her application early for next year, so she can earn her own shirt. A downside to this: she still has plenty of time to write you out of her will between her training runs for the big race. Note that your mom CAN wear your finisher's shirt under one of these 4 conditions- 1) you still live with your mother; 2) she funded your trip to the race; 3) she recently bailed you out of the slammer; or 4) All of the above.

10. Always wear the race shirt of your last race at the current race’s pre-race briefing. The more recent the race, the better. This is a good conversation starter. However, avoid the tendency to explain how that it was a training run for this, and this is just a training run for the next, etc. It just sounds like your rationalizing mediocre performances. Sometimes it’s best to live in the here and now.

11. Your t-shirt should be kept clean, but dried blood stains are okay, especially if it is a trail race or a particularly tough event. If you're an ultrarunner, you can even leave in mud and grass stains, (and porcupine quills). Not washing-out the skunk scent is pushing the macho thing a bit too far, though.

12. Never wear a T-shirt that vastly out-classes the event you're running. It’s like taking a gun to a knife fight. Or like unleashing an atomic bomb among aboriginal natives. You get the idea.

13. Also: never wear a blatantly prestigious T-shirt downtown or at the mall among non-running ilk. People will just think you have a big head, which you do. You'll also get stupid questions, like, "how long was that marathon?" If it's a shirt to a 50 or 100-miler, they'll think it's a shirt for a cycling event or just think you're totally nuts, which (of course), you probably are.

14. Never, ever, borrow a race finisher's shirt from another runner to wear to an event that you didn't run. If you do, remember that in Dante's Inferno, he wrote about a special Hell for characters such as you; right between Tax Collectors and Lawyers.
Corollary- no purchasing race medals on e-bay either.

15. Never wear a shirt that has more sponsors listed on it than people that ran in the event. (Are you listening, race directors?) A shirt with too many sponsorship logos on it is just plain ugly. If you're a race director, and have scored that many sponsors, how about sharing the wealth? By the way, you can let ANYONE wear this ugly shirt; non-finishers and distant relatives, alike. If you respect your friends, kids, spouse, or mother, though, you won't let any of them wear it. It would serve well as bedding in your kid's gerbil cage.

16. Never wear a shirt that has any sponsors on it that you don't agree with. For instance, if you're a Vegan, you shouldn't wear a shirt that proudly advertises "Omaha Steaks" on it. If you wear this shirt, the "Karma Gremlins" will catch-up with you . I swear that's why I fell and broke my nose in my last 50-mile trail run, or why I had plantar fascitis for most of '99. I never should have ran in the 1998 "Fantastic 4-Miler." Why would they enlist a sponsor from an North Korean land-mine manufacturer, anyway?

17. If an event is cancelled at the last minute, but the event shirts were already given out, you can't wear the shirt unless you actually ran the race on that day. This means you will have to run your own unsupported event, through snow storms, hurricanes, or whatever lame excuse the Race Organizers came up with for cancelling said event. If you still want to wear the shirt, you have to mark it with a sharpie, "I didn't run this lousy event, and I'm all the better for it, thank you," across the front of it.

18. This next one is a big one, and has something to do with the need for more good taste and asthetics in this sometimes ugly world. Never wear a shirt that is so old, thin, and threadbare that you can see the color of your nipples or chest hair through it. This seems to be just a "guy thing," especially and old-codger-runner-guy thing. Here's the test guys: if you're too scared to machine-wash your 1978 Tab Ten-Miler shirt for fear of it wafting down the drain as meer subatomic particles, then it's probably too transparent to wear in public. If you can (still) remember your great performance at that particular day and you want to save it for posterity, PLEASE have it framed so that you can keep it on the wall of your den or your "I love me" room, and (at least) out of public view. Better yet, have it sewn into a quilt. You can then sit on your couch and read back-copies of Runner's World, cuddled up with your "runner's binky," with a glass of warm milk.

19. By the way, if you don't know what terms like DNF or volunteer are, then you shouldn't wear any race shirt until you know what they mean, and you shouldn’t have any meaningful relationships, either. You should probably become a hermit and/or New Age "Tantric" runner, sitting at home in the lotus position performing virtual marathons in your mind, while sniffing used GU packets, incense, and patchouli.

20. If you've finished the Longest Day, or any full Ironman distance event, then wear the T-shirt as often as possible, since these races are so damn hard.

T-shirts must be used sensitively. Worn responsibly, they can help expand one's consciousness and immerse you in a great conversation with your running brethren. Worn stupidly, they can cause fright, horror, vacant stares, sprained ankles, and general social unrest. Don't be a "T-shirt Terrorist." Follow proper T-shirt etiquette to do your part for world peace.

Linked in

2008-04-28T21:21:00.005-04:00

Sunday I had a group golf lesson through Things to Do DC. I had played a few times then I got into triathlon. Triathlon turned out to be a jealous girlfriend who demanded all sunny weekends. Now that I'm trying to restore a little balance, I wanted to get back into golf.
So Sunday morning I trekked up to Olney, MD to meet up with Max and get some pointers.

Our instructor was an adorable New Zealander who even had a Kiwi (bird) golf club cover. He did a great job explaining things in plain English, or at least simple terms :)

Kiwi: So what other sports do you play?
Me: Well I come from a hockey background.
Kiwi: Yeah, I can tell. You have the Happy Gilmore swing.

I had no idea but apparently I was taking a step every time I drive. So unless I'm going to chase someone after I take my shot I should quit doing that.

My other favorite moment:
Apparently some people lose their balance after driving so they stumble backward, pretend they did it on purpose and put their hand on their hip to watch the ball. This is called the "I'm a little teapot" finish. The name alone is enough to shame most people into fixing their weight distribution.

Putting and chipping were easier as those are pretty close to hockey. The pointers on where to have the ball in relation to my feet, and whether to put my weight on my front foot or my back foot helped a lot.

Sunday was cold. And misty so I never really got warm since I was damp the whole time. And since I got lost in Rockville on the way there, I didn't have time to stop and get Starbucks. However, you could temptingly see Starbucks from the upper deck of the driving range. Calling to us like a beacon in the cold.
After we were finished, Max and I agreed that food would be good, and coffee was imperative. We stopped at a hole in the wall Greek place where I was able to get decent spanikopita, and baklava to go. I was happy with my cardamom tea until we were leaving and realized they had turkish coffee. Doh!

Today I am sore in random patches of my shoulders and back, but I'm ready to go again soon. Maybe not until next week though.

Sunshine and lollipops

2008-04-27T10:03:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was the start of marathon training. I signed up with the Arlington Road Runners, which is sort of like the running equivalent of beer league softball.
I had kind of a rough start to the morning- my Irish oatmeal turned into a grenade, I triaged my microwave, grabbed a yogurt and ran out the door.
Luckily they started a bit late so I had time to down a couple gels before we started. I had never eaten dinner the night before, so my 60 calorie yogurt wasn't going to cut it.

It was warm, but not too hot, sunny, and honeysuckle was in full bloom.
We ran a short 3 miles down around Georgetown and Rosslyn mostly along the water. Either Potomac's club, or Georgetown's team was out on the water so I got running as well as vicarious rowing. It was heaven. I can't wait until I can row and the sun comes up earlier, the water looked beautiful. And I forgot how much I love running. It's still the beginning of the season so everyone was really friendly and polite. I didn't break any records, but I did manage to hold my own and I can't wait for next week.

On the way home I stopped at Starbucks and tried to decide what to make for lunch. I should have learned from DC Rainmaker's post about shopping while hungry. Once I got home I settled on pasta pesto salad with pine nuts. Mmmmm. My whole house still smells like garlic and basil.

Later, I took a friend to Meadowlark Botanical Gardens. If you haven't been you should go. It's Vienna's best kept secret. The azaleas and tulips were blooming and we even saw a few turtles which were hiding the last time I was there. And in case you're wondering why I've sounded like a pack a day smoker this week, we watched with shock and awe as pollen blew off the pine trees in clouds so thick the trees looked like they were on fire.

Last night was a date auction benefitting the Avon Breast Cancer Foundation. In addition to hot girls from the Hill and beefcake from Ft. Myer, they had some items to bid on as well. Nikki's bad influence means we wound up with 5 luxury box tickets each to a TBD Nats game :) Who wants to go?

I'm a Winner!

2008-04-21T18:11:00.004-04:00

WooHoo!
No giant checks or Ed McMahon required.

Washington Running Report has a weekly trivia contest where the prizes are race entries.
The latest one was: Who is the oldest person to have won the JFK 50K?
Answer which won me an entry into the Rock N Roll half: Barry Salisbury
Marathon training starts this weekend, so hopefully I'll be in good shape to PR at RNR.

This in my inbox this morning. I'm famous!
"In the last issue, we asked, "Who is the oldest runner to win the JFK 50 Mile?" (Yours Truly) was the first to respond with the correct answer: Barry Salisbury (female, 50, who won in '06 with her time of 8:00:31). This week's question: What is the oldest continuously run race in Montgomery County? If you think you know the correct answer, be the first to respond to office@runwashington.com with the word "Trivia" in the subject line. You can win a comp entry to the Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon in Virginia Beach! We will announce the winner in the next issue."

If you know the answer you could win a free entry to smoke me at RNR!

Weebles wobble but they don't flip over

2008-04-17T16:42:00.004-04:00

This morning brought another exciting day of coxing.

Weird numbers meant we took out an eight and the new four and a few people stayed inside. I volunteered to stay in or cox since I wasn't feeling stellar and wound up coxing the new four.

The new four:
Someone from our team conned someone into donating the money to purchase a new four. Since the lobbying came from our team, we get to use the boat.

One caveat: Either it's rigged super high, or the gunnels are really low. Either way, there's not a lot of freeboard. It's like being on a very unstable see-saw.

On top of this, for some reason, our coach put our 230 pound power house at stroke, and a lightweight at 3 seat. So every stroke the boat flip-flopped with the weight shift.

This morning was the first time since I learned to row that I thought that we might flip.
We got waked by our coach twice and by the cops majorly once as they were speeding through a no wake zone to get to National harbor.

When you get waked, good physics says to keep going, and to try to be perpendicular to the wake. I did my part, the ladies did theirs, and we all stayed dry.

"Soft" in the head

2008-04-16T16:33:00.005-04:00

Monday I went to the orthopaedist's. He cleared me to be as obnoxious as I want to be, run, row, or ... play softball!

I joined my church's softball team, which is part of a larger church league. One advantage is that no matter how bad I am they can't be mean to me. Also, I'm there to fill the female quota, so expectations are low.

So post ortho appointment, I came home, logged in for a bit, then slept through dinner. Which meant my blood sugar was nice and low for the game. I woke up just in time to make it over to the fields which were back in Alexandria.

So what position do you play when you are a token girl who hasn't played softball in years?
Catcher!
I'm still sore from crouching for 45 minutes. Although it did such a nice job on my thigh adductors, I'm tempted to volunteer to catch again.

As I said, I hadn't played in a very long time. And to be honest, I was a little fuzzy on the rules. I hit a pop-up, rather than run like a person with common sense, I looked up to see if it was foul or fair. It hit me right in the forehead (I coulda had a V8).

Do you know what you should not do when playing in a church league? Yell "Jesus Christ" is in the top five, I think. Awkward.

I did manage to catch a throw to home on a run. Too bad I forgot I had to tag the base.

Sigh. Note to self: go to batting cage, eat dinner, keep mouth shut.

"Good" friends

2008-04-11T15:37:00.006-04:00

During a horrific fight, I walked away from New Boy and our year together. I would say that it broke my heart in half, but it was more like the way really stale bread implodes into dust.

Big thanks to everyone who kept me busy and for assuring me that I am not a bad person, aside from my taste in men.

Huge thanks to DC Rainmaker for the donation to the Race for the Cure and for generally being awesome.

An especially huge thanks goes out to Holly who sent the perfect email on my worst day. I'm glad to be of service at any time. Nothing that I've done in promoting the program compares to her having the strength to turn lemons into lemonade and get the Cancer to 5K program running.

Speaking of friends who are and do good, I will now shamelessly promote other people's events.

I used to volunteer regularly at the Veteran's hospital in DC. Nothing is sadder and more of a reality check than to see a Vet who is younger than us who is now disabled. Imagine the shock of returning home after being overseas coupled with the shock of adjusting to life with a disability. I'm not racing, but have offered to help out in a den mom capacity.

Want the fastest swim split of your life? The Hudson River Olympic swim course is the fastest in the World! No one swims in the Hudson on purpose but you can! (Don't worry, it's perfectly safe--probably cleaner than the Potomac...)Want to be part of America's largest triathlon? Join Team PVA in raising funds for the Paralyzed Veterans of America Heritage Fund (http://www.pvaheritagefund.org/)! We have entries available, which include olympic-distance training plan/coaches, round-trip travel from Washington DC to NYC, your hotel room, and Team PVA racing kit! All we ask in return is that you raise $1600 for the PVA Heritage Fund. If you are not sure if you can raise that much money, contact us anyway!!

Fellow blogger and Team Z'er Iron Casey is raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I can tell you just how hard it is trying to come up with 4 grand.
After you do your taxes Tuesday, you'll appreciate that donation to charity that much more. Plus, trivia!

Hey folks! I'm holding a raffle/trivia night at O'Sullivan's next Wednesday (the 16th), beginning at 8:30.
Prizes for $10 raffle tickets include gift certificates for local restaurants, gear from Lululemon, a signed Redskins picture and more.
Twenty dollar tickets can be entered to win either an iPod Nano or a boat trip on the Chesapeake Bay.
You can puchase tickets even if you won't be able to attend.
Just make a donation to my site and email me to ensure I enter you into one of the raffles. In your email tell me which raffle you choose:#1: prize pool ($10 each)#2: iPod Nano ($20 each)#3: boat trip-- http://www.ironcasey.blogspot.com/
Donate to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society: http://www.active.com/donate/tntnca04/tntncaKMoore1

Things I've Bought That I Love

2008-04-03T12:27:00.004-04:00

I have a lot of suits, and a lots of bike shorts, etc. but not a lot in between. I guess that's why they call it the Gap.
I posted to the Tri Club to ask the other ladies for advice.

My requirements were as follows:

Dresses had to have built in bras. (No explanation required).
Skirts should be skorts.
Easy care fabrics.
Must be pretty- no hippie swamp colors.
Must fit well. I love LL Bean, but their clothes are seriously frumpy.

Mainly I was looking for stuff I could play golf or tennis in and then go to dinner. I have a few items from Skirt Sports, but acid pink and 16" skorts are rarely appropriate for public places.

Here are some of the best recommendations I received:

Title Nine
Athleta
Lululemon
Aventura
Boden

and my new favorite- Victoria's Secret!

Who knew? They have a whole line of bra top dresses. Lots of cotton stuff means no dry cleaning and easy to take on vacation. I think their dresses paired with Skirt Sport's Spankies will be perfect.

Plus, so many pretty colors. Like tons and tons of them!

Brain Dead

2008-03-27T10:46:00.007-04:00

Sunday:
I ate 4 servings of baklava and cheated and went for a 30 minute spin on the elliptical trainer sans arms. In the middle of my session I lost my ability to see out of my left eye. It was really bizarre, like the lens was there, just nothing was coming through. And a little bit of my right eye too.
As my heart rate came down, my vision was restored, but it was pretty scary.

Monday
I called the orthopaedist's office to get a ruling on whether it was caused by the shoulder. Last time, when my shoulder would tense up, I'd have problems with my left ear, and I was wondering if it hadn't swelled and pressed on a nerve somewhere.
The ortho said no, but to see my regular doctor.

I called my regular doctor. The nurse completely freaked out and told me to go to the ER. Ummm, no. My experience with ER's has been bad, generally they are not the best doctors and they cause more problems than they solve.
She then agreed to get me in to see my GP the next day.

I called my PT office to give them the heads up, they refused to treat me until I got the all clear from the cardiologist.

Tuesday
I go see my PCP, he agrees that it's probably caused by the hypoglycemia, or I might be anemic. Two invasive procedures and one more which forced me to repair tissue, and my being vegetarian, meant for a recipe for disaster. Not to mention the mass quantities of painkillers and Aleve.

I get blood drawn for everything from blood sugar to anemia to CBC.

I get an EKG which is fine.

The doctor recommends I see a cardiologist and a neurologist.
I get in to see the cardiologist, they do an echocardiogram and everything is fine.

Wednesday
I go back to the cardiologist who does a stress test. I was running one a treadmill at a 10% incline. They had to get my heart rate above 185 (good luck) and keep it there for something like 2 minutes. It was hard. I'm sort of convinced that if I didn't have a stroke doing that, I'm not going to.

The test comes out fine. Not going to die of a heart attack any time soon.

Second cardiologist thinks it might have been a migraine. I was under the impression that migraines were headaches. Whatever.

They have an issue of Gun & Garden in the waiting room. Awesome.

I try to make an appointment with the neurologist, they can't see me until mid-May. Is it just me or is that bad practice.

I get my note and go back to PT.

Following Monday
I get a post card from my GP, all my test results are fine but they don't say what they were. I call to find out, they never call back.

Wednesday
I get my eyes checked. The Dr. says my eyes are fine, not detaching any retinas, also thinks it's a migraine.
Seriously, aren't headaches an integral part of migraines?

I mention this to my PT, she is skeptical and asks that I see a neurologist anyways.

The GP still hasn't called back.

Second Base

2008-03-22T11:16:00.005-04:00

The wine club is running the National Race for the Cure again.

Our team name is Run For Love.

It's a 5K that you can run or walk in DC, last time I was coming off of a broken leg and sprained ankle, so I walked it. One advantage to walking is that you can stop at Starbucks and not spill your latte.
My plan this year is to run it, preferably in a pink running skirt.

You don't have to have boobs to join the team or to run, you just have to want to preserve their natural awesomeness.

The link to my completely irreverent website is to the right.

Pot Pouri

2008-03-20T18:34:00.005-04:00

So I asked my PT if I could bike this weekend.
No.

Can I run this weekend?
No.

What would happend to me if I did?
Your shoulder will develop a reactionary inflamatory response, and you'll have chronic inflamation. It won't heal properly, it will never be right again, and Kaiser Soczei will kill you in your sleep.

So no fun yet.

In addition to trying bikram yoga I have decided to go back to ... ballet!
My leotard, tights, and ballet shoes came.
I talked to the guy at the ballet centre. They were super nice and not snooty. This should be good for some hilarious blogging later.

I read about Ryan Shay's autopsy today. Big reminder to get a physical and see a cardiologist when I'm ready to ramp my training back up.
HCM and MVP run in my family so there's some things that need to be addressed to make sure I don't die of a heart attack during a race.

Goldicox and the three boors

2008-03-16T19:13:00.004-04:00

So today I went to a meeting at the boathouse mainly to meet the new coach.
A brief history:

In the beginning there were two rec programs, a women's program and a men's program, both full. The board saw fit to combine the program causing much malcontent among the rowers.
Many women moved up to the 4 day competitive program with the intention of civil disobedience by only attending 3 days a week.
They also had a coach who was a great person off the water but was ... we'll say harsh ... on the water. When you can make a wedding planner who has teenage sons cry, something is wrong. And if you can only motivate people by screaming at them, you don't have a very broad repertoire. Again, she was a highly motivated athlete. She was a rower, also a marathoner and a triathlete, but she was not a good coach.
Then, the women's 4 day program got the direct opposite. A very sweet laissez-faire guy. He was sort of the anti-coach. The women complained about the lack of structure.
The easy going guy is now coaching the rec group, and the w4d gets a new coach.

The new coach: L was a high school and college coach. At our boathouse she helped coach the uber-competitive women's five day team. About them: I am only bitchy about this because I am insanely jealous. They are not people they are Rowers with a capital R. They are frighteningly thin, having conquered the need to eat that weakens us mortals. Also, as far as I can tell, they do not have jobs or personal lives, just Rowing. They thrive on punishment.

So needless to say, coming back from an injury I was a little concerned about what the new coach's expectations for the team were. I stayed after to talk to her and explained my situation stating that now is the time to object if she doesn't want to deal with my "issues". And that I would likely opt to not perform the land workouts in lieu of doing them with my physical therapist. She swears she's cool with everything, but the woman never smiled. Not once.
I'm actually wondering if she's one of those people who is more creepy when she smiles, like Tom Cruise. I don't trust people who are unattractive when they smile. It's not natural.

I asked one of the other coaches what she's like. Mainly "Will she make anyone cry on the water?"
"That depends on how you take her comments."

Well, F.

Third time is the charm?

2008-03-12T14:27:00.001-04:00

So three months almost to the day from the last surgery, I had another surgery.
The thought was that maybe a pin had come loose and I might have a rotator cuff tear.

I was supposed to wear something button down, since getting stuff over my head was going to be difficult. And something I would be comfortable in all day. And something warm, since I had wicked chills coming out of the anesthesia the last two times.
Clearly, this can only be satisfied by pink flannel French Kitty pajamas.

Well, the surgery took some time, and it turns out I didn't have a rotator cuff tear. I had a bone spur (!) which was rubbing on the rotator cuff tendon causing inflamation. And one of the pins had broken in half and part of it was floating around causing issues. Funny how something so small can cause so much pain. Sort of like constantly having an eyelash in your eye.

It immediately felt so much better than the last two times. I'm working on Range of Motion almost exclusively since they also found that I have a freakish ability to grow scar tissue.

Keep your fingers crossed!

Weekend binge

2008-03-03T12:48:00.004-05:00

So stress over the impending surgery, stress over my rommate moving out with next to no notice, and a series of seriously disturbing nightmares led to stress eating in a major way.

This in turn led to slightly more exercise than usual.

Saturday was Rob's 3 hour spin class back at the old gym. It was a reprise of the Mary Pat tribute class: the 5 W's and How.

Tri Clubber L brought her brother M who made us all sprint because he didn't take the hint on the name check. Then Rob let us play Screw Your Buddy. I'll let you guess who was everyone's buddy.

During class Rob, K, and L mentioned they were looking to do a long run on Sunday. Rob had signed up for the B&A half marathon that I did last year but it was sold out so L and I couldn't join. I mentioned a lovely 10 miler, but it was on the Eastern Shore 3 hours away. Later that day I found a great option in Columbia with a 10K and a 15K, perfect, and it started at 2pm, even more perfect. Too bad I was too lazy to run. I ended up getting in 40 minutes on the elliptical, with no hands this time.

I felt bad until Rob emailed everyone saying he had got up, gotten dressed, eaten his pre-race breakfast, and then gone back to bed.

Tough Calls

2008-02-29T14:13:00.004-05:00

So the verdict is back. Probably some sort of debris in my joint, but also a rotator cuff tear. And I found out the reason I can't see the pin is because it's made of an absorbable protein. That is just beyond cool. I really want to see one they haven't put in yet, but I think that might be the last straw for my orthopaedist.

So I'm having surgery in 5 days. Figure two weeks at least until I can run, and another good month until I can swim.
I made some decisions after realizing that if I don't take care of myself I will miss another entire season.

So I bailed on the Shamrock half.
Transferred my Cherry Blossom number.
Bailed on Columbia.

I'm hoping that I'll be able to maintain overall fitness enough to run the GW 10 miler. And maybe the Frederick half marathon.

I'm frustrated to be going through this again when I followed all the rules. I'm worried about recovering in time for crew. And I'm worried about putting on weight while I'm recovering.

Adding to the stress is one of my roommates has decided to buy a house and is moving out and I need to find a replacement.

My plan for now is to work out like crazy until the surgery since I know I'll have a forced rest day or five. My trainer has promised to come up with a plan of attack for my recovery. I'm just upset because my list of can't seems so long right now: no swimming, no rowing, no biking outdoors, and no biking where there's pressure on my shoulder. No elliptical with arms.

Add to that: crew registration is next week. Our season starts in a month.

The seven people you meet in blogland

2008-02-26T10:51:00.004-05:00

I hate chain mail, and I'm not into putting that much personal information on a public forum, but I will stop whining and play along.

So I was tagged by DC Rainmaker to share seven random things about myself. Here's my seven pieces of random information that you likely didn't know.

I am double jointed in most of my joints.
My ancestry is French and Lebanese
I'm named after my paternal great grandmother, yes it really is my name.
I went to Montessori school.
I once kept a LOST Netflix for 2 years.
I knit in my spare time.
I'm a lacto-ovo vegetarian.

Here were the rules are as follows (I'm required to post them):

Link to the person who tagged you
Post the rules on your blog.
Share seven random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog.
Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
Leave a comment on their blogs so that they know they have been tagged.

In return for my little blessing, I've tagged (required to) the following people to receive their own little present. Kevin, Dan, Jenniferlyn, Holly, Jess, Nikki, and Teen

Just remember - don't hate the playa, hate the game. Although...if you had to hate a specific playa...Ironmatron started this thing. Just sayin'...

Opposites and Results

2008-02-25T12:55:00.006-05:00

My plan for the weekend had been to essentially eat, sleep, and train since New Boy was out of town. What actually happened was I spent 36 straight hours in my pajamas watching movies and bridal shows. But I did make it to Rob's 3 hour spin class.

We were at a new location in DC this time. It was clean, sparkly, and the desk attendant didn't look at my boobs while talking to me. Everything was modern and sort of spa like, and the spin room had a disco ball. Things started to click: this was a gay gym. The 2Exist boxers for sale, the well-groomed men in abundance, oh yes this spin class would be FABULOUS. I only wish I would have worn my "I train to meet boys" t-shirt.

Our usual location is sort of a fishbowl and it's not uncommon for some guy to decide to conspicuously do his ab work right outside the window. I find this hilarious.

Anyways, the new spin room has not only a disco ball, but power meters and a flat screen tv. So we all got to watch tours of California from a bike-centric view. Not completely representative since the Bike-O-Vision didn't take an unplanned detour and get lost, or fall over after being able to unclip their feet, but it did make the time go by faster.

This week was a fundraiser for a bunch of clubbers who are doing Ride Across America. Now I'm all about environmentalism, but it seemed a little ironic that this race involves four team members and like 14 crew members flying across country to the start, and then the 4 riders are followed across country by like 2 support cars. Isn't that itself kind of a little bit of a carbon footprint. They're buying alternative enegry credits to off-set, but wouldn't the truly environmental thing to do be just doing a series of local races?

Anyways, even though I'm not sure I see the point, I'm supporting them anyways since that's what you do for team members and friends.

The theme this week was Opposites so the music was "Homeless" followed by "Our House", and stuff like "Love to hate you". And as always heavy on the disco.

The bike meters had a distance function which was revealing. I had vastly underestimated my miles during spinning. By nearly 50%. I feel like less of a loser knowing that I spun (span?) 62 miles.

Magnetic personality

2008-02-21T15:23:00.007-05:00

I had my MRI today, I forgot how awesome they are.

First, they put you into what is essentially a coffin.

When they start the tests it sounds like an orchestra of jackhammers that are trying to tune to each other. This is what I picture life with children is like.
Meanwhile, the coffin is vibrating.

And like on the LOST island time slows down. A supposedly 2 minute test takes a very long time when you can't move.

Good news: I remembered to take my ring off at the last minute, and my belly ring did not come flying out and attach itself to anything.

Bas news: I looked at the films and found where the stitches are, they look like a seam splitting. I couldn't tell where the pin is, but then again, I'm not a doctor.

Wednesday I go back to the doctor for a go/ no-go decision.

Training and homework

2008-02-18T14:03:00.005-05:00

Today I worked out with trainer Blaine.

I am already sore. Very sore. Usually I'm sore the next day, and even worse the second day. No delayed onset today, just immediate punishment.

This is partially my own fault. I didn't take care of myself over the weekend, resulting in another near-shock episode. Not enough protein and food in general, too much exercise and stress in general, my body's refusal to lose weight, and bam! I nearly pass out while driving.

Today's workout was mostly shoulders and squats, trying to fix both my shoulder, and the quad/hamstring inequality every runner has. However, now my calves and hamstrings are so tight I'm looking at another injury if I don't work on it. So I'm supposed to stretch. A lot. And do yoga.

Functionally, yoga is great. It cures a lot of various athletic ills, but damn is it boring. I'm not a quiet introspective type of person. I like data, and action, and pain. Yoga is torture. I cannot sit still and think about my feelings for that long. And that chanting music makes me want to kill someone. I can do a long run or spin for hours so long as I can tune out, but I can't do that in yoga. And don't even get me started on the instructors wanting to help you ease into poses. Paws off. I barely trust my doctors and PT's. You, an unknown person of questionable qualifications are not allowed to touch me without permission and a full explanation of what you are going to atttempt.

I might try bikram yoga, that might be extreme enough to keep my attention.